The Grand Duchy of Susania, Wherein Various Vicissitudes Waft Forth

In Which I Become a Mean Old Lady

2012-01-20T20:02:00.000-08:00

I bullied some young men tonight.

Verona Dining Collection in Antique Honey

I was shopping at one of my favorite stores, World Market in West Nashville... looking at absolutely everything in the store, most of which I can't afford (oh I WANT that dining room set!) Soon after I entered, I heard some horrible screeching that eventually coalesced into some sort of rough accordion. It was soon joined by another indecipherable instrument, and it Kept. On. Going. World Market tries to carry everything, apparently, including decorative rustic musical instruments.

Fifteen minutes of this went on. It was evident that the players were attempting to actually coax some kind of melody from the instruments, and they occasionally succeeded, but rarely in key or tune with each other. I caught a glimpse of them and saw they were some college-aged guys. I began to formulate crushing, cruel put-downs to make them stop... "Could you guys go be douches somewhere else?" was my favorite.

Surely they would stop. But they didn't, and finally when I was crossing an aisle-way I saw them standing in a group about to add a third instrument to the mix. I stood and glared at them, and one glanced up and saw me, and I called out, "Could you guys go be annoying somewhere else? I mean, you have been playing FOREVER!" The sudden feeling of Old Lady Power rushed through me, as I realized I. Did. Not. Care. What. They. Thought. It was intoxicating.

As I walked on, after a brief pause one of them called out, "but, uh, we're musicians, ma'am!" I snapped back, "Well, you need to practice more, but not here!" Another lady an aisle over caught my eye and nodded with satisfaction, and I smiled and shook my head.

But as I wandered on looking with elaborate unconcern at chair slipcovers and china I didn't need, I started considering what had happened. The boys had looked ABASHED. They had looked genuinely surprised. And they were obviously enthusiastic about trying to make these things play music. They were just overgrown boys. And I began to feel sorry. Elliott would have TOTALLY done the same thing. To an instrumentalist, an instrument MUST be attempted!

I began to worry that they would go back to school and tell the story of a fat old bitch in the store who had yelled at them and been insulting, and it would become an anecdote for years to come. I would never be identified, but my spirit would be scorned and vilified for years to come. I would apologize; I would go up and be contrite and say I understood their enthusiasm, that my nephew would have been trying the same thing, and that I was being mean.

But it was too late. They were gone, and I had been bitchy for my own satisfaction and the pleasure of a well-placed zinger. So to the three young men in World Market in West Nashville on a Friday night, I am sorry. You saw me take the next step in my Crazy Cat Lady/Spinster Aunt/Old Maid aging process, and it was into the Mean Old Lady stage. I would have preferred it be the Sassy Old Lady, or the Sharp as Nails Old Lady, but unfortunately I took the Cranky exit. You meant well, and you weren't actually being douchey.

And to the little boy bashing around two cheaply made fans that I said rebukingly to that he "could actually BREAK those things by waving them so hard!" I hope you will... no, actually, that kid was being a little brat. I WANT him to think twice before he messes with things that aren't toys in a home interior store.

2011-12-11T19:48:00.001-08:00

From our Crazed Family to Yours...

Merry Christmas, and fervent prayers for a
Sane and Happy New Year!

It's been a goodyear, really! I've been happy this firstfull year in my condo, with a very, very slow decorating approach – I just hungmost of my pictures 18 months after moving in! I think the kitties have beenreasonably content; as long as I will not attempt to pick them up & squeezethem (corporal cuddling), yet will make my lap available when they want somecuddle time, they appear satisfied with the arrangement. Daisy has become a bigchunky fuzzball, while Bunny is a sleek little girl. They both are goodcuddlers. Bunny has an obsession with dunking stuff in their water bowl that utterlymystifies me, though. I come home and find wads of yarn (the preferredplaything at present) in the bowl and water everywhere; I put all the looseyarn in the back room, and in less than an hour, it’s been dragged back to thebowl. The little freak!

The Young Adulthistorical fiction books by Gladys Malvern that I have been editing to reprintare all done. We managed to get 12 ofher public domain titles back into print, and I think the books are beautiful!Sales are tepid but steady, and we hope the homeschool community will discoverthem soon. They are available at all the big online book retailers...

Work ebbs andflows, as always… It's been six years now since I started House Calls, andstarted at the AEA/Vandy. I still love working at both places. The variety ofboth jobs and switching back and forth keeps me from getting burned out. I hadmy first (minor) surgery on my right tear duct this summer, but apparently Iwas one of the 5% whose heals up wrongly, and so I am going back in to have itredone 2 days after Christmas. *sigh* I’m still singing with the Parish Choirand Chamber Singers at St. Bartholomew’s in Nashville, and still love it.

Hoping you andyours are well! God bless and keep you! Love, Susan

How Steve Jobs Made Me a Computer Geek

2011-10-05T20:06:00.000-07:00

Well, HE didn't actually make me a geek... but his old beige toaster Macintosh did.

In 1987, I was a dyed-in-the-wool Luddite; a history/literature/musician/actress ARTISTE. I had managed to avoid computers all through high school (they were still in the punch-card phase and I saw absolutely no reason to bother with something so obviously dull). I was as right-brained as they come, and proud to be so.

Then I went to college at Belmont. Within my first month there, I realized that I was going to have to start typing papers, and I think my friend Suzy Life offered to show me where the computer lab was on campus. I have no memory of my first visit there, but I remember how the computers looked; so cozy, so simple and I approached them without any fear whatsoever. There were only 3 or 4 available for student use at that time.

This is the model they had - the operating system booted from a small 800K floppy. There was no hard drive yet! But I remember someone showing me the font choices they had like Times, Chicago and Venice, and I was all "ooh, pretty!" I started using it to write letters to pen pals and friends, and by the time I really did start using it to do papers, I was fairly comfortable with a Mac.

Of course, I was still under the illusion I was an artiste! I got my History degree with a minor in English. But as the years progressed I continued working with Macs, and by my senior year I was working as a lab monitor in the large, 20+ computer Mac lab across the hall from my mentor's office, the Dean of Humanities, Robert Simmons. He adored Macs, and typed up detailed critiques on student papers and essays, which he would print out on a noisy dot-matrix printer. It was he who decided the School of Humanities needed its own computer lab, and he established special freshman writing classes that were taught in the lab, so the students could get comfortable using computers for composition. He'd even let students in his classes go downstairs during a test to type their essays in the lab! I miss him terribly - he died a few years after I graduated.

I still didn't know that I liked computers. My use of them had been so organic, so thoughtless, that I had no notion that I had any particular affinity or skill. I've always said that things need to sneak up on me; I am so alert to potential scenarios that I can become crippled by expectations and behave quite stupidly. Well, computers snuck up on me! Almost every job I had from that point on, in various secretarial and office admin positions, had a Macintosh on hand, and I used all of them.

By the time I was working on my 2nd undergrad degree in Theater, I had gotten a student job working in sales for the campus "Computer Connection" store. They also took care of departmental support for the college; fixing, installing, and maintaining computers all over campus. But they were so short of tech guys, and the demand for user support was so great that one day I said "well, I could probably install RAM at least; why not show me how to do it?" I had never even looked inside a computer before. (My favorite anecdote is that memory was so vastly expensive at this time, that it was selling for $350 for an 8MB chip!)

The next thing I knew (really, I don't remember any learning curve) I was doing both jobs - support and sales. I was delivering computers (how I loved our delivery golf cart!) around campus and installing them, installing memory, making service calls, even giving tutorials to staff on software programs. Less than a year after I started at the Computer Connection, I was hired to work at the William Morris Agency, which was one of the rare businesses that primarily used Macs and they needed a Mac person. I'm still astonished that they hired me; I had no qualifications or education in computers!

But the Mac had taught me how to use itself, even in the days before the internet became really useful. Steve Jobs, Woz, and Apple Computer made a computer that I didn't need a college education in Computer Science to use and support. Since my years at WMA, I've moved on to Windows and PCs and that is what I primarily support now. But my affection and nostalgia for the Mac platform, for the beauty and ease and simplicity of the products made by Apple (with some notable exceptions, of course!) will always be with me, and I will always be grateful to the people who made a machine that took me out of my right brain, and eased me into using my left as well.

A Moment of Insight

2011-09-30T20:48:00.001-07:00

OK, I've figured out what this presidential campaign season is actually all about... it's about New Toys.

We have this set of 8 or so action figures, and some of them are the cool ones that we like from the movies like Han Solo or Princess Leia... but others are characters we don't really remember from the movies like General Taggi* or Chall Bekan*. Those would be the Jon Huntsmans and the Gary Johnsons. We tend to leave them in the box.

But you know, we've been playing with our Michelle Bachman and Mitt Romney for a while, and they're getting a little boring... what this make-believe needs is some new action figures! Can we have a Rick Perry? Pleeeeeeese? I don't wanna play with Newt; his head keeps falling off! So Mom gets us a Rick Perry but after a week or so the novelty's worn off him and we'd really like a Chris Christie or a Sarah Palin to make the game fun again (although we had a Sarah Palin a while back until our dog chewed it up so it wasn't any good and mom threw it away).

We're treating these men and women like toys for our entertainment. We delight in every misspoken sentence, every ill-thought idea, and let the media mock and shred them for our entertainment. Is it any wonder Palin and Christie are reluctant to announce candidacy? How can any of them have anything approaching a substantive conversation about their stand on the issues, when they're continually required to be defending every word that comes out of their mouth, or attacking the last stupid thing another candidate said? It really is a blood sport.

You know, now that I think about it, it's more like a cat who's caught a mouse or a baby rabbit, and batted it around and gnawed on it until it lies motionless and dead... it's not fun anymore. So the cat goes hunting for another critter.

*I had to look these names up on IMDb; I'm a geek, but a diversified geek!

Lynching in Georgia

2011-09-21T09:36:00.000-07:00

Troy Davis, a man convicted of murder in Georgia, is going to be executed tonight at 7pm. In the years since his initial conviction and sentence, the original case against him has fallen apart; multiple witnesses have recanted their testimony, one of the witnesses CONFESSED to the crime, etc. Any of this is sufficient to give an appeal legs... but four appeals have gone through and he is still slated for execution. WHY?

After lamenting the injustices of Nicaraguan "law"in regards to the wrongful arrests and convictions of my friend Eric Volz and now Jason Puracal, at least in their cases, I didn't have to worry that the state would have them put to death! Now a man is going to be killed under a dubious conviction in the democratic and supposedly "better" United States of America. I have always said that I would prefer for the guilty to go free than for the innocent to be locked up, which is why I wasn't too fussed about the Casey Anthony case.

Can you imagine how heavy the guilt of executing a potentially innocent man will lie on the heads of those who could have undone this injustice, and have not? Do they not think at all of the Golden Rule - treat others as you want to be treated? I don't know if this case is a result of discrimination, of laziness, of just plain bloody-mindedness... but it makes me feel about as safe with the American Justice System as a woman in 1690s Salem who has a lot of enemies in town!

God forgive those who are responsible for his incarceration and execution, and those who could undo it and yet have chosen not to err on the side of mercy.

So Sick, So Tired

2011-08-29T19:41:00.000-07:00

Once again, Nicaraguan Injustice has prevailed.

I did so hope... although I don't know why I should have! The way they treated Eric Volz should have been lesson enough that reason, fairness, justice are absent from the Nicaraguan legal system. Now Jason Puracal, who has already spent almost 300 days in jail on no evidence, has been convicted of international drug trafficking, money laundering, and organized crime. This is despite the total lack of evidence, and with an illegal judge presiding.

Americans, leave Nicaragua. You've had 2 warnings now; the sweetness and light you think you are living in is all a facade. At any moment, you can be arrested, imprisoned and tortured on the flimsiest of pretexts. Hell, on no pretext at all! Maybe if you immediately bribe the officers who are arresting you... maybe then you will be able to escape with your life and your freedom. But trusting to the laws of that country (which may be just fine on paper) and your own innocence has been proven to be stupid and naive.

We think that because we have a reasonably fair legal system in the US that all legal systems are equally fair. THEY ARE NOT.

Shane, Josh and Sarah arrested in Iran for the mistake of hiking near the border; Shane and Josh convicted and condemned to 8 years in prison.
Amanda Knox, arrested and convicted of a murder she could not possibly have committed; 30 years in Italian prison
Eric Volz, arrested and convicted of murder in Nicaragua despite airtight alibi and complete lack of forensic evidence. 30 years in prison, miraculously overturned on appeal.

Now add Jason Puracal to the list. These are just the ones I know about and have been following; God only knows how many cases like this exist that haven't got strong social media on their side.

I don't want to have to fight through another one of these cases, because they won't fight fair. Reason and logic serve no purpose. Justice is a word they shit upon.

I'm holding on to this; a friend happened to post this (I don't know why) just as I heard the news about Jason:

13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the LORD
In the land of the living.

14 Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!

Psalm 27 (28)

freejasonp.com
freethehikers.org
injusticeinperugia.org

AVALANCHE Week to Free Jason Puracal!

2011-08-15T08:10:00.000-07:00

Trial is scheduled to resume with Day Three this Tuesday, August 16. From the Court's rulings during the first two days of trial, it is clear the Judge is pushing for a conviction. He has crippled the defense case by throwing out the very evidence that proves Jason’s innocence, including a real estate expert, Jason’s accountant, and the letter from the DEA. The Judge has also prevented the defense from questioning the prosecution’s witnesses on key issues. It is time to make the State Department see the injustice in this case. They must step in and demand Jason’s release.

CALL to ACTION: This week is AVALANCHE Week. Senator Cantwell is the person that can force the State Department into action. We want to bombard her office with phone calls (not just letters and emails) to insist that she force the State Department to demand Jason’s release. Please everyone commit to making one phone call each day this week to Senator Cantwell’s office to let her know that we want action. The goal is for Senator Cantwell to receive at least one phone call about Jason every minute of every day this week.

Senator Maria Cantwell
202-224-3441 (Washington D.C. office)
206-220-6400 (Seattle Office)

In Which I Have Surgery

2011-08-04T12:21:00.001-07:00

I am having a DCR procedure Friday morning - DCR stands for Dacryocystorhinostomy. They are basically creating a new tear drain for my right eye, which has had a lump around the tear duct since January. Apparently my tear ducts are much smaller than they should be (at least in my right eye) and nastiness has been building up from a blockage in that area. Plus my tears cannot drain down into my sinuses like they should, so I look like I'm perpetually crying and wiping away tears. I haven't been able to wear eye makeup in months!

So I'll be having an outpatient procedure under a general anesthetic (first time in my life!) around 8:30 am, and will hopefully be home by noon. My friend Rachel is staying with me for a while, and so she's going to take me and bring me home and make sure I don't collapse or starve or whatever; at least until I've fully recovered.

Unfortunately, on Tuesday my right eye started really swelling up, and now 3 days later my vision is partially impaired, and my eyelid is puffed out over the top. The whole area is very tender and I suspect, infected. My Dr. has me on antibiotics to try and get it back to normal in time for the surgery, but I am dubious that less than 2 days of meds is sufficient to turn it around. So it might have to be postponed.

So I would welcome prayers; that the swelling and infection would go down, and that I would be calm and relaxed throughout the process... and that I don't freak out when they come to give me the IV (I'm a needle-phobic)!

Why Casey Anthony Didn't Win

2011-07-06T10:50:00.000-07:00

As angry as everyone following the Casey Anthony case may be, I actually think the Not Guilty verdict may be far worse for her than she or her family have imagined.

Look at it this way. If she had been judged Guilty, she would go to jail. I don't think she'd get the death penalty; she's young and obviously weak. Everyone would feel vindicated and jubilant, and in 20+ years when she was paroled, the worst of the anger and desire for vengeance would have subsided and there would be little interest. She could live quietly, and at least she would be regarded as having paid her debt to society.

But as a person perceived as guilty by the majority of society (I've not heard of anyone who believes she is innocent) who "got off scot-free", she will be rejected and shunned by society. I doubt anyone would ever hire her for a job again. The fact that even her parents have had death threats is an indicator of how strongly people hate her right now. No one will ever allow her around their children, I would be very surprised if she ever has another date in her life, and I can just imagine her showing up at one of the nightclubs she used to go to... the appalled hush that would fall over the room, the turned backs. And that's just the mild response... there are always people who take vigilante justice too far, and her life will doubtless be threatened for a while to come.

I'm not exactly surprised at the jury's decision. Although everything "gestures" to her, the actual, tangible evidence that proves she killed her baby just isn't there. And I am actually comforted that our legal system would rather err on the side of letting the guilty go free, rather than send the innocent to jail. That's one of the wonders of our legal system, and I am grateful that we can have a questionable Innocent verdict, as opposed to one based on popular opinion. When the Lindbergh baby was kidnapped, they executed a man who very possibly was innocent. This judgment 75 years later, with a similarly tragic case, I find encouraging and an indication of maturity.

Five years ago, I might not have thought this. I was inclined to believe that where there's smoke, there's fire, and that anyone who was in jail was genuinely guilty. But then I learned of Eric Volz, and the sham arrest, trial and conviction he suffered in Nicaragua for murder, and I realized that mistakes are made, and popular opinion allowed to influence trials. Eric was so patently innocent - and all evidence and witnesses to that innocence was discarded and ignored so that evil people could get revenge on America... or protect the real murderer... or score political points. Anything but justice was the goal.

So I don't mind so much that Casey Anthony is going to go free. Because I would rather the guilty go free than the innocent be imprisoned, and I believe that society will probably be far crueler to her than any prison cell could be.

I know, I know, these 2 opinions do not match up!

Handiwork

2011-05-06T07:37:00.000-07:00

A friend was writing about creative and artistic endeavors, which made me think of this journal entry I a wrote a while back, so I thought I'd post it here!

June 14, 2005
I am currently engaged in a wholly engrossing activity of truly nerdish/geeky proportions; I have become a chronic embroiderer. My favorite activity most nights is to come home and watch Simpsons episodes while I do needlework. I am keenly aware that this is the most appallingly boring activity most hip young thirty-somethings could ever imagine. But there are several compelling reasons why I feel the need to sew.

[BTW, did you know that the word "suzan" in Farsi means "needle"? See?!]

One, because it keeps me from being an irredeemable couch potato. As long as I am Productive, I don't feel like my evenings in front of the TV are a complete waste.
Two, because it keeps me from eating from boredom - it is impossible to eat and sew simultaneously.
Three, because it impresses the hell out of almost everyone. A well-executed sampler or project as a gift will pretty much make every other gift look tawdry, cheap, and ill-considered. "See? I love you more than everyone else!"
Four, because it is beautiful.
Five, because it is real.

Four and Five deserve some elaboration... some "embroidery," if you will. All day long at my IT job I manipulate bits of nothingness - I produce NOTHING except documents that more often than not never even get printed - ghosts of words that are read by someone in an email and then deleted, never to be made tangible. Needlework is the one inescapably real thing I do outside the office that actually displays talent and skill beyond my ability to hook up a user laptop on a DSL wireless network and connect via VPN to the office network, or add a show venue address to an enormous database.

It used to be that most of the things produced with needle and thread were useful in some way - you made clothing or upholstery or bed linens yourself. But now there's no need - it can be done more cheaply and quickly by machines in factories, or by women at home on sewing machines. Almost the only hand-sewing done now is for art's sake - quilts, cross-stitch, needlepoint. And when you use real linen, and cotton or sometimes silk thread, there is a tangible, beautiful product completed after many hours. It takes focus and it takes patience. Except for little projects, most needlework projects take weeks or months.

It's sometimes my only grasp on what is real, what matters, what is meaningful - with a TiVo, iPod, and Blackberry, I can literally spend HOURS on intangibles that have little value or benefit (unless it be to inspire or educate... but for me, usually it's just for entertainment). I come home after herding invisible bits and bytes around an unseen network all day, and I pick up a piece of fine linen with threads of scarlet and purple, and I am making something far more enduring than the report on client earnings I generated that morning, or the software installed that afternoon.

And of course, like I said - it impresses the hell out of everyone.

The Relief of Abandonment

2011-03-23T11:04:00.000-07:00

I am very, very accustomed to being left behind.

It took quite a while to realize that abandonment, often perfectly benign, was an integral part of my life. A general list:

My dad (Al) died of leukemia when I was 3
My best friend in kindergarten (Missy) moved away the following summer
My best friend in first grade (Betsy) moved away the following summer

At this point things stabilized... but I never had another best friend. I don't THINK it was a conscious decision; there just wasn't anyone I clicked with in the years that followed. I went through grade school and high school with many of the same classmates, but none really close.

My adoptive stepdad (Chuck) left when I was 17

This I didn't mind at the time; none of us were happy, and he was too strict and broken himself to really be able to show us any affection. But it did mess up the family dynamic; I felt that our stability had left with him.

College was where I actually started to make some good friends; none of them were "besties" but they were consistent and I saw them daily for several years... but as the only one of us actually from Nashville, when school was over, I stayed there... and they all left, to return home or continue their education elsewhere.

I made new friends at my first real job, then went back to school to get a 2nd degree and made some ALMOST best friends with 3 other women. We called ourselves the Honda Club, and they were the closest I've ever had to something approximating best friends. But within a few years, they all left as well, to different cities.

I got a long-term job working with computers at a talent agency, and started making friends there. There were 5 of us who got together frequently for dinner and movies, and we called ourselves Movie Club. But one by one, they left town (except for one of the women, thank God!)

I feel like I have formed and lost and reformed and lost so many friendships in my life that I'm honestly perturbed when someone actually STAYS. So many times I have been told by a friend that they are leaving town, and I go to the farewell party or give them a parting gift or help them pack... but on a certain mental level, after the sad, weary acceptance of another loss, I'm relieved. I don't know why; in some twisted, broken way... it is what has always happened, and so I don't know how to build a friendship beyond a certain level of development. And now, with their departure, I won't have to deal with the harder, more work-intensive aspects of the natural growth of a friendship.

Now that I'm much older and stable in my society, people from my peer group are proving more likely to stay. And I am beginning to realize that there are aspects to my friends that can annoy and disappoint me, (just as I can definitely annoy and disappoint them!) But never having had to work through this more advanced friendship stage before, I don't quite know how. I'm glad that I am older and wiser enough to be conscious that nobody's perfect, and that this is actually what is SUPPOSED to happen... but I'm afraid of messing up.

And don't even get me started on my incapacity for romantic relationships - at the developmental rate I'm going, I should be ready for dating and marriage around... 70. ;)

Reboot Christmas

2010-12-28T18:49:00.000-08:00

I'm writing this now, a few days after Christmas, so that I can hopefully keep it in mind enough to help me avoid another Christmas like this one in 2011.

Not to blame my family or friends, but once again, Christmas was disappointing... I am grateful that I didn't suffer the crushing depression I so often felt in December in my 20s, but any attempts to make Christmas worthwhile or meaningful just failed miserably. It can't be done. It is one long round of unmet longings, of excess and expense that makes no-one but children happy.

I know it's a different set of disappointments for everyone, but in my case, it's a month of frantic activity and checklists that culminate in... nothing. It's isolating, a stripping away of the work routine that keeps me plugged in to society and content, and having stripped away that schedule and left me with nothing useful to do, leaves me bereft and dependent on the hospitality of family members who never built up any traditions to give us some structure for the holiday.

Having just written that paragraph, an epiphany has just occurred to me: why don't I hold the Christmas gathering next year? I've always assumed as the Single of the family that my role was to arrive at a larger house with a supplementary side dish, a dessert, and gifts. But what if I were to host the thing, to direct the course of the day instead of hoping for someone else to arrange something enjoyable for all?

I say this with anarchy in mind... because the best, most memorable holidays I have had are the ones that resemble a sitcom plot for a Christmas episode. Primary example:

For decades our family has gone every Christmas to our relatives in Batesville, AR, because it was the habit of our childhood. We would sometimes escape the slight claustrophobia of my Grandmother's house (where nothing much was done beyond meals, TV, naps and conversations) by going on an errand to the Super Wal-Mart. One year my mom, sisters and I all went together, and in an uncharacteristic move, bought some sodas and sat in the little corner food court after our shopping. We ended up sitting there and talking for over an hour. We realized that we didn't really want to leave and go back to the house... that we didn't really enjoy these Christmases in AR because we never did anything fun... and that we all felt the same way. It ended up being a long group therapy session, and even now over a decade later, we will still talk fondly about that time in the food court at Wal-Mart.

It wasn't that we didn't love and enjoy my Grandmother, and that we didn't like seeing my cousins (who were always the big drawing point for us)... it was the very separation from that tradition that was memorable and a turning point for us as a family. This was before my sisters had kids, and we hadn't yet realized that it could be enjoyable sitting around and talking, just the women of our family.

I guess the conclusion I'm arriving at here, is that as much as we need the traditions of the holiday for structure, we also need to scrap them on occasion. Baking cookies every Christmas can be an enjoyable habit... but the minute it becomes a burden, it needs to go away for a while! I stopped holiday baking for several years when it ceased being fun; well, this year I had a longing for making sugar cookies and decorating them, and so I stocked up on cookie cutters and sprinkles and went to town on the baking for gifts. I also ended up making over 25 dozen sausage-cheese balls over the month of December.

So I think I want to scrap both the (subconscious) traditions/habits of the last few decades (or the lack thereof)... and maybe be the host next year. I may just make pasta, I may have no presents but a movie marathon, I may have only a tiny tree for decoration or every room covered in ornaments and wreaths... there are no rules beyond trying to create some new traditions (Zero-dollar gifts... homemade gifts... sushi and cheesecake...) to help take us out of this misery of disappointed expectation.

I like my family. I don't have any stress being around them, they don't torment me or get drunk or cause unpleasant scenes or drama, and I am deeply grateful for that. But I think we can use a reboot.

Word du Jour

2010-12-13T18:13:00.000-08:00

Paraprosdokian (from Wikipedia)
making the rounds... not sure of the origin!

A paraprosdokian (from Greek "παρα-", meaning "beyond" and "προσδοκία", meaning "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

Ø I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Ø There's a fine line between cuddling, and holding someone down so they can't get away.

Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Ø If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

The 2010 Christmas Letter

2010-12-06T10:44:00.001-08:00

Christmas 2010

Dear Friends and Family,

After 10+ years of Christmas letters, I finally have had a year that has really provided me with something to write about!

... In Which I Become a Homeowner

In April I finally bought my own place! I had been looking for over a year for a house, and in fact put an offer on a short sale property in July 2009. After over 7 months with no updates and no response from the bank making the sale, I gave up and started looking at condos, which turned out far better than I expected. I now live in Brighton Village, a small, brand-new complex right next to Nipper's Corner (also known as Brentioch by some of the locals; between Brentwood and Antioch, obviously). I had the great luxury of picking out my floorings & some fixtures, and now have the joy of a condo where everything except me and my possessions is brand-new. I do miss my old neighborhood terribly - the first month or so I was a little depressed and I kept driving back to Cool Springs on the flimsiest excuse.

I was also fortunate in that my condo was high up on a hill, which proved a great advantage when the Nashville May Day flood came roaring in less than a week after I moved in. For all the tragic losses of people and homes, it has been an absolute joy seeing how charitably the city responded. Nashville really does take care of its own, and even now I still love hearing stories of how people immediately pitched in, helping both neighbors and strangers to safety and then helping to clean up the destruction. My mom and dad's basement flooded and there was some damage, but my family and I were all safe (if inconvenienced), thank God!

I still have a lot of work to do; I turned the master bedroom into the Office/Computer Gutting Station/Library/Craft Room/Guest Room. Since my bedroom is just for my clothes and sleeping, I took the smaller one; I'd rather use the bigger bedroom for living in! After taking several months to get some nice bookshelves built (not built-in; I want to be able to take them with me to my next place!) I have finally put away all my books, which have remained in boxes for over 6 months now. What luxury! Then paint a couple of accent walls in the Great Room, and all my pictures can be hung up. It will be nice to have a (mostly) completed home. I still have some bigger pieces of furniture I hope to get.

... In Which I Become a Cat Lady

About 6 weeks after I moved into my new place, I finally took the plunge after years of waiting and got myself a couple of kittens. They are 2 grayish/brownish tabby twin sisters, and I named them Daisy and Bunny (although they are frequently referred to as my Lazy Daisy and Dumb Bunny). When I went to visit and see if I liked them, I discovered that they were born on the day I moved into my new home, which I considered a good sign! I still can't tell them apart unless they are right beside each other (Bunny is skinnier) or I can see the color of their collars. They make me glad to go home at night... although their medical bills? Not so much.

Daisy is proving to be my smart girl; when told NO or scolded, she usually meows wistfully but stops misbehaving quite quickly. She also comes when I call (if she isn't doing something particularly absorbing) which is unusual for a cat. I was giving her antibiotics for an ailment for a few weeks, and now whenever it's time to give her a dose, I call for her, she meows and comes running and stands by my side until I pick her up and give her a dropper-ful of medicine. She also likes being cuddled like a baby, or to curl into my neck and shoulder. She saves her energy for later, unlike her sister.

Bunny is my quicksilver girl; she is incredibly fast and has almost a morphing ability to get into my closet when it's open for a couple of seconds (where she dearly loves to pull clothes off of hangers). She's braver than Daisy and not as easily startled; at the same time she's slower on the uptake. A few months ago I had to give both of them medicine, and while Daisy (initially) would make a run for it and hide the minute I got out the medicine each morning, day after day Bunny would just sit and look at me with an expression of "What's that you got there, mommy? I've never seen that before... Will I like it?" She also adores playing Fetch with fake mice.

Believe me, I am being RESTRAINED in my description. I can talk about them endlessly. And do!

... In Which I Become Editorial

I had an unexpected opportunity arise this fall when I started looking into the world of public domain publishing. There is an author I adored as a child named Gladys Malvern, who wrote almost 4 dozen Young Adult historical novels. Her books went out of print years ago (she wrote from the 1940-60s) and so it has become difficult to find her books except in the occasional library, or for sale online for up to $150 for popular titles. I started scanning copies of the books into PDF files a couple of years ago (after checking them out through Inter-Library Loan at Vanderbilt) and have about 20 of my favorites preserved.

Recently I reconnected with an old high school choir friend through Facebook who has his own publishing company that specializes in reprinting and repackaging classic books in the public domain, and asked how hard it was to get out-of-print titles reprinted. One thing led to another, and I ended up signing a contact with him to serve as an Associate Editor and reprint the eligible Malvern titles! We hope to bring out the first book in Spring of 2011; it is one of her most popular titles, Behold Your Queen!, a novel about Queen Esther from the Old Testament. I am very hopeful that it will sell well and we can start bringing out other books in the coming years. I really believe that my fondness for history came in large part from reading books like these when I was young, and I would love for them to be available to my nieces and nephews.

... In Which I Become Insured

At the end of the summer, I was asked to increase my hours at the American Economic Association from 20 to 30, which made me eligible for medical insurance through Vanderbilt University as a full-time employee. This made me very happy! Not having had insurance for the last 3.5 years has been occasionally scary, although I am grateful that no significant medical expenses arose during that point. Now I regard my insurance as a treat, like a pedicure or a shopping trip: "Ooh, I can get that mole checked out now! I can get my eye exam! I won't have to pay to go to the chiropractor anymore!"

It has meant fewer hours are available for my House Calls Computer Service, and for a while there I was so overwhelmed with both jobs that I stopped taking new clients. But it has evened up now, and I finally adjusted to the additional hours. It wasn't as stressful as it might have been, since I adore my co-workers; I am really lucky to have such an agreeable group of people to work with! I am glad I do get to continue doing both jobs; it keeps me from getting bored or burned-out.

... In Which I Behave As Usual

Church Music: Still singing!

Crafts: Still stitching!

TV: Still watching!

Nieces and Nephews: Still sitting! Not that they really need it anymore... *sigh* the youngest one is 7, the oldest 17! Except for Greta's girls, who STILL live too far away.

I hope that you and your families have a wonderful Christmas season, and that 2011 is a great year for you.

The Lord bless you and keep you
The Lord lift His countenance upon you, and give you peace;
The Lord make His face to shine upon you, and be gracious unto you. Amen!

Love,

Susan

More recent travails

2010-10-19T11:28:00.000-07:00

After years of anxiety about an excessive backlog of unwatched DVR recorded shows (TiVobligations, credit James Lileks) I have only added to my burdens by becoming even more addicted to British TV programming that has accumulated on my laptop. Do not inquire how I came by this glut of entertainment; only know that I am not acquiring anything that can be legitimately purchased or rented in the US! I have days worth of shows I really do want to watch (I recently got my hands on some episodes of The Goodies which hold up remarkably well) and yet, summer and rerun shows are over and new American TV shows are once again refilling my TiVo. Alas! There is not enough free time.
The kittens are thriving, despite having rather more delicate filtration and digestion systems than I would wish for... both of them are finishing up treatment for microbial parasites, and one of them is having antibiotics in addition for a nasty bladder infection. You would scarcely know they are sick at all, so full of frisk are they; they have begun to resort to Blatant Manipulation to gain access to my room at night. Daisy lurks just out of sight behind a corner, and as I come around to my room, flings herself onto her back like a drama queen and shows her belly, as if to say, "isn't this the most adorable belleh you have ever seen? How can you resist petting this?" Yet I am adamant. They are too bouncy to stay asleep all night. I know perfectly well they have been sleeping all day long and just want in my room for more playground territory.
Working full-time (or, full-timeish) has seriously impaired my home business. I have had to stop accepting new computer repair clients, since I have difficulty finding the time to take care of the ones I already have. But the job is great, and finally having full insurance again (after 3.5 years without) is completely worth it. But it feels wrong to say no to new clients; I so badly needed them in the past that to turn someone down now feels like a waste.

Is Islam a wolf in sheep's clothing?

2010-09-02T18:25:00.000-07:00

Someone sent this to me today, and it gives me pause. CAN THESE STATISTICS BE PROVED? Because if they are correct, then there is a potential for the end of Western Civilization.

I have to remind myself that Communism was perceived as great a threat as Islam in its day, and yet now it is almost a joke. (Although it only had a shelf life of 100+ years, and Islam has been around for centuries.) In other words, this current fear of Islam might all just be society's need for a bogeyman.

Anyway, I am posting this as part of the dialogue... and pray that it is wrong. I did check Snopes and it hasn't made it to the site yet.

Islam in Laymans terms

Adapted from Dr. Peter Hammond's book: Slavery, Terrorism and Islam: The Historical Roots and Contemporary Threat

Islam is not a religion, nor is it a cult. In its fullest form, it is a complete, total, 100% system of life.

Islam has religious, legal, political, economic, social, and military components. The religious component is a beard for all of the other components.

Islamization begins when there are sufficient Muslims in a country to agitate for their religious privileges.

When politically correct, tolerant, and culturally diverse societies agree to Muslim demands for their religious privileges, some of the other components tend to creep in as well.

Here's how it works:

As long as the Muslim population remains around or under 2% in any given country, they will be for the most part be regarded as a peace-loving minority, and not as a threat to other citizens. This is the case in:

United States -- Muslim 0.6%
Australia -- Muslim 1.5%
Canada -- Muslim 1.9%
China -- Muslim 1.8%
Italy -- Muslim 1.5%
Norway -- Muslim 1.8%

At 2% to 5%, they begin to proselytize from other ethnic minorities and disaffected groups, often with major recruiting from the jails and among street gangs. This is happening in:

Denmark -- Muslim 2%
Germany -- Muslim 3.7%
United Kingdom -- Muslim 2.7%
Spain -- Muslim 4%
Thailand -- Muslim 4.6%

From 5% on, they exercise an inordinate influence in proportion to their percentage of the population. For example, they will push for the introduction of halal (clean by Islamic standards) food, thereby securing food preparation jobs for Muslims. They will increase pressure on supermarket chains to feature halal on their shelves -- along with threats for failure to comply. This is occurring in:

France -- Muslim 8%
Philippines -- 5%
Sweden -- Muslim 5%
Switzerland -- Muslim 4.3%
The Netherlands -- Muslim 5.5%
Trinidad & Tobago -- Muslim 5.8%

At this point, they will work to get the ruling government to allow them to rule themselves (within their ghettos) under Sharia, the Islamic Law. The ultimate goal of Islamists is to establish Sharia law over the entire world.

When Muslims approach 10% of the population, they tend to increase lawlessness as a means of complaint about their conditions. In Paris , we are already seeing car-burnings. Any non-Muslim action offends Islam and results in uprisings and threats, such as in Amsterdam , with opposition to Mohammed cartoons and films about Islam. Such tensions are seen daily, particularly in Muslim sections in:

Guyana -- Muslim 10%
India -- Muslim 13.4%
Israel -- Muslim 16%
Kenya -- Muslim 10%
Russia -- Muslim 15%

After reaching 20%, nations can expect hair-trigger rioting, jihad militia formations, sporadic killings, and the burnings of Christian churches and Jewish synagogues, such as in:

Ethiopia -- Muslim 32.8%

At 40%, nations experience widespread massacres, chronic terror attacks, and ongoing militia warfare, such as in:

Bosnia -- Muslim 40%
Chad -- Muslim 53.1%
Lebanon -- Muslim 59.7%

From 60%, nations experience unfettered persecution of non-believers of all other religions (including non-conforming Muslims), sporadic ethnic cleansing (genocide), use of Sharia Law as a weapon, and Jizya, the tax placed on infidels, such as in:

Albania -- Muslim 70%
Malaysia -- Muslim 60.4%
Qatar -- Muslim 77..5%
Sudan -- Muslim 70%

After 80%, expect daily intimidation and violent jihad, some State-run ethnic cleansing, and even some genocide, as these nations drive out the infidels, and move toward 100% Muslim, such as has been experienced and in some ways is on-going in:

Bangladesh -- Muslim 83%
Egypt -- Muslim 90%
Gaza -- Muslim 98.7%
Indonesia -- Muslim 86.1%
Iran -- Muslim 98%
Iraq -- Muslim 97%
Jordan -- Muslim 92%
Morocco -- Muslim 98.7%
Pakistan -- Muslim 97%
Palestine -- Muslim 99%
Syria -- Muslim 90%
Tajikistan -- Muslim 90%
Turkey -- Muslim 99.8%
United Arab Emirates -- Muslim 96%

100% will usher in the peace of 'Dar-es-Salaam' -- the Islamic House of Peace. Here there's supposed to be peace, because everybody is a Muslim, the Madrasses are the only schools, and the Koran is the only word, such as in:

Afghanistan -- Muslim 100%
Saudi Arabia -- Muslim 100%
Somalia -- Muslim 100%
Yemen -- Muslim 100%

Unfortunately, peace is never achieved, as in these 100% states the most radical Muslims intimidate and spew hatred, and satisfy their blood lust by killing less radical Muslims, for a variety of reasons.

'Before I was nine I had learned the basic canon of Arab life. It was me against my brother; me and my brother against our father; my family against my cousins and the clan; the clan against the tribe; the tribe against the world, and all of us against the infidel. -- Leon Uris, 'The Haj'

It is important to understand that in some countries, with well under 100% Muslim populations, such as France, the minority Muslim populations live in ghettos, within which they are 100% Muslim, and within which they live by Sharia Law. The national police do not even enter these ghettos. There are no national courts, nor schools, nor non-Muslim religious facilities. In such situations, Muslims do not integrate into the community at large. The children attend madrases.

They learn only the Koran. To even associate with an infidel is a crime punishable with death. Therefore, in some areas of certain nations, Muslim Imams and extremists exercise more power than the national average would indicate.

Today's 1.5 billion Muslims make up 22% of the world's population. But their birth rates dwarf the birth rates of Christians, Hindus, Buddhists, Jews, and all other believers. Muslims will exceed 50% of the world's population by the end of this century.

It occurs to me that this may be a bit of illogical reasoning; that Islam is responsible for the deterioration of these countries with higher Muslim populations may be reversing the cause and effect; what if the countries with weak or deteriorating infrastructures are more likely to attract Islam, rather that Islam being the cause? My grasp of logic is tenuous and ill-defined, I know...

It's the Little Things...

2010-09-02T09:34:00.000-07:00

I regularly listen to a BBC Radio 4 show (via podcast) called The Now Show - sort of a Daily Show, but all UK-based. (I now know a RIDICULOUS amount about their current political situation!) Anyway, they were recently talking about allowing various groups and organizations to set up their own academies, including atheists:

Mitch Benn: "I know this is probably gonna get me kicked out of the atheist's union, but I think I'd miss it if you completely dechurchified schools. But anyway they should still definitely sing hymns in assembly. Atheist hymns, obviously."

(sung to the tune of "All Things Bright and Beautiful")

All things bright and beautiful; All creatures far and near; All things vast and miniscule; Just happen to be here
: There was no great creator, there is no grand design; The Universe is getting on without all that just fine
: All things known and still unknown; We can or cannot see; All things are just 'cause they are; Co-in-ci-den-tal-ly

Not my own beliefs, obviously! but still funny nonetheless.

Story of my Life

2010-08-24T13:20:00.001-07:00

although, I don't use GPS... I do use Google Maps!

An Apple Store Sketch

2010-08-17T12:06:00.000-07:00

Destructo-Babies

2010-08-09T19:58:00.000-07:00

I have become the cliche of an aging spinster: I am now a Cat Lady. I am not yet a Crazy Cat Lady until I get at least 2 more, possibly 3. My apartment is littered with cat toys and various scratching devices which are of minimal interest to Daisy and Bunny. Nothing will ever be as satisfying to scratch as the sofa and armchair. Fortunately both are holding up fairly well.

I still can't tell them immediately apart in appearance; Bunny has a silkier coat and Daisy has a rounder face, but I can STILL get them wrong until I see their collars! Bunny is immediate, Daisy is leisurely. When Bunny would like some cuddle time with me, Daisy would prefer to pick a fight. Daisy prefers to nap around my neck, while Bunny will curl up on a footstool by herself sometimes.

They make me very, very happy. When I wake up in the morning, I would much prefer playing with them than going back to bed. I take much pride in the fact that they are healthy and putting on weight rapidly (as if I had anything to do with it beyond putting food out at consistent intervals!) The real giveaway is the fact that now I can't do needlework anymore; at least not until they become less destructive and more sedentary. And I don't seem to mind in the least!

As a result of the sudden cessation of needlework, TV has become rather boring. I could sit for hours in the evening watching tv while I made things, but now without something creative to work on with my hands, it's really not enough to keep my full interest! Although I still sit and watch because the kittens insist on a certain quota of lap time.

Bunny is fascinated by the bathroom. The shower is just plain interesting (but she's too wobbly still to hop up without losing balance) and the toilet... well, she has fallen in at least once that I know of. Yes, it was HILARIOUS. It didn't hurt her in the slightest. They chirp and squeak sometimes; Bunny is an alto and Daisy a soprano.

Bit by bit they tear down a little of my Structure daily. A phone cord chewed into segments. A water bowl tipped over in the kitchen. Litter kicked around on the linoleum. Scratch marks all over my shins from attempting to climb into my lap. Anything within reach is theirs for the taking. It's just a matter of time until they can reach the counters. And they have a secret hidey-hole in the Tupperware cabinet. They found a 3-inch hole the allows them to squeeze in and out. I have to wash anything from that cabinet if I want to use it!

I remember what it was like when I could put something down and it would stay there until I moved it. Now it's all about putting things away, and hoping I haven't forgotten something they can reach. They are my little 5% sample of what it is to be a parent. The vet bills, the cat food, the worrying that they will get hurt, the toys, the time they need... I know, probably not even 5% of the equivalent of a baby. But it may be the closest I get.

THANK GOODNESS. I'm exhausted!

Craig Ferguson's Cussing Rabbit

2010-07-28T09:27:00.000-07:00

Babies

2010-06-10T19:18:00.000-07:00

I have concluded that it should be a tradition to give Pet Showers for single people who decide to get pets. I have spent a small fortune on the nursery supplies for my impending babies!

I decided years ago to get myself a pair of cats when I got my own place. When I moved in to my first real home at the end of April, I resolved to give myself a month to settle in before finding some kittens. A friend's neighbor started looking

for a home for a pair of inseparable tabby twin sisters, I saw the pictures and since I love me some tabbies, I went to go see them.

They're all kittens should be - small, sweet, purry and meowy. Blue-eyed and so identical that I really do expect that they are real twins. I discovered that they were born on the day I moved into my new place - that's about as good a sign as it can get!

In the weeks since then (while I waited for them to be big enough to come home with me) I pondered names. The names I had picked out 7 years ago suddenly seemed as though they belonged to a previous season, and no longer applied to who I was now. So I pondered amusing and intellectual names like "Schadenfreude" and "Gemütlichkeit", but then realized that these were entirely too difficult for people to pronounce (including myself) and Schadenfreude was a rather mean-spirited name to saddle a poor kitten with!

I want them to be sweet, affectionate kittens, and so they need sweet names. So I went with "Daisy Delphinium" and "Bunny Rose", Daisy and Bunny for short. And so much stuff they need! Food and litterbox and collars and tags and toys and scratching posts and sprays and surgeries and shots and beds and gates and who knows what else I've forgotten. It's like I'm stocking a nursery for my impending babies, but because they are only pets I'm not entitled to gifts. ;)

And I am worrying a lot more than I should... so much I want to train into them, like not clawing furniture, and letting me sleep at night, and stuff like that... I probably won't have children now, and so these may well be my child substitutes! I went and picked out collars today, and got nametags in case they run away; I almost worry that I'm not allowed to get these sort of things until I actually pick them up, as though I might jinx the process.

Delightful Advertising

2010-05-20T16:33:00.000-07:00

AWESOMEness.

Tangible Work

2010-03-26T19:12:00.001-07:00

Yeah, yeah, I know it's been 10 weeks. But really, should I post even when I have nothing worthwhile to say?

BTW, I think the ability to form complete, cogent ideas with well-chosen words in under 140 characters may become a whole new form of poetry, like haiku. We (western civ) haven't created a new form of poetry in some time; we're about due! So I wholeheartedly embrace Twitter, which teaches economy and brevity.

OK, so the topic at hand here is craftsmanship. I started listening to the audiobook for Shop Class as Soulcraft: An Inquiry Into the Value of Work yesterday, and it is really resonating with me. I've talked before about my delight in needlework and creating tangible things... well, I still feel that way about it, but now as I re-read that old posting, I realize that the nature of my work has changed a great deal since then. I still "herd invisible bits and bytes" around all day... but I have a TRADE now, as opposed to being a sysadmin for a corporate office. I go to people's houses and fix their computers, printers, networks, etc. I lay my hands on a device and seek to make it function properly. Yes, I did that before... but the gratitude and relief is so much more palpable from my current clients, and I feel so much more pride in the services I provide.

Shop Class as Soulcraft talks about that very thing; in a far more intellectual and academic way (the writer has a doctorate) he makes a case for the value of creating useful things, and being able to fix them. He also talks about the deep satisfaction that comes from doing a tangible job, the intellectual stimulation of figuring out how to work around a variety of problems and variables through gained experience, and the sense of community that you develop as a tradesman that is entirely missing from the "knowledge work" that everyone seems to aspire to nowadays.

He also talks about how the Shop Class is disappearing from school curricula and so a whole generation is growing up without knowing how to fix anything useful. It immediately reminded me of my shop class in 7th grade at J.T. Moore Jr. High, and my teacher Mr. Wyss. At the time I didn't realize, but that was my favorite class in the 2 years I was there... and for that matter, in ALL my schooling I have the fondest memories of that class.

See, I wasn't supposed to have the slightest interest in Shop. I was an Artistic Intellectual with vague musical and theatrical aspirations, and so building a bookshelf or knowing how a carburetor worked was just a random thing I was required to learn by the public school system. Shop had no practical application or virtue that I comprehended. But how much I loved the things we did in there... and I became competent at so many of them! Silkscreening t-shirts, building a bookshelf, wiring and building an unlovely (but functional) lamp, learning architectural drafting and drawing my own ideal houseplan, taking apart a lawn mower engine and learning how all the parts worked... I loved ALL of it. I don't remember a single thing we did that I didn't find interesting. But how little I appreciated that gift Mr. Wyss gave us then!

In retrospect, the 2 classes I enjoyed the most at Moore were Shop, followed by Home Economics with Mrs. Boysen, because we were always working on something tangible. Those classes "didn't count," of course, but I poured far more of myself into them, and my eternal difficulties with my peer group never seemed to be an issue there. These were things I could be certain of and were always interesting. I made good grades in all my other classes because I was smart enough to get by... but when I think back on English and History and Math and French, I feel a vague sense of dissatisfaction and shame, because I never felt like I was really learning or retaining anything, and I KNEW that I wasn't really interested in any of it.

I still have that bookshelf I made in Mr. Wyss' class; I keep my cookbooks in it on top of my fridge. I also have the old folder from Mrs. Boysen with the carefully handwritten recipes she had us write out for biscuits and how to boil pasta correctly and white sauce. I've actually had to refer back to that biscuit recipe on occasion! I even have the drawstring bag made from an old towel with my machine-embroidered monogram on it from her class. I had such pride and satisfaction in the things I learned in those 2 classes, and they were the only things I ever shared from school (with any pleasure) with my parents.

It was a surprise to me 10 years later that I had a knack with computers... I had no interest in the sort of science and math that I dimly understood had to do with computer science. I managed to get through high school without taking a single computer class (and was proud to have done so, for I was Artistic!) I had the great good fortune to stumble onto Apple Macintoshes my first year at college, and ended up as a student worker in the computer lab on campus. Even years after I didn't understand that my comprehension of how to mess about with computers was a worthwhile thing... it was just something to do to make a bit of money, and nothing I had any interest in pursuing as a career. It wasn't until I gave up on theater and history and academia as a future in my mid-20s and got a job on the Belmont campus in the computer store that I began to see that I genuinely enjoyed futzing around with computers, and had a gift for it. Even when I was offered the job at William Morris as the tech support for the Nashville office, I cried because "it was the death of my theatrical dreams" and would probably destroy my soul. *snicker* What a pompous young idiot.

Now all of those experiences have woven around and I am happily making and repairing things, increasing my knowledge by experience, fixing computers for people. I still read History, have a theatrical personality, and fancy myself an intellectual... but I am a satisfied, proud Tradesman by profession. I consider myself a most fortunate woman.

Thank you, Mr. Wyss. Thank you, Mrs. Boysen.

Social Networking = Small Town Life

2010-01-09T12:44:00.000-08:00

I have my days of despising technology and contemplating asking the Amish to adopt me; to get away from the speed and exhaustion and frequent pointless/wasteful aspects of 21st century life... but then I see something lovely that makes me glad I live in a time where I have a conduit like the Internet.

My friend TJ (to preserve her anonymity) had a car accident this week, and shared it on Facebook. Here is a transcript:

TJ: Funeral, then a visitation, then wrecked our pathfinder on the way home...praise God that the kids and I were not hurt.
Thu at 5:15pm

Amen! All Glory be to God for protecting His precious children. I praise God for your safety. We love you!
Thu at 5:16pm

Sorry to hear your news T...glad to hear that you guys are safe!!
Thu at 5:43pm

Oh no! I'm glad you guys are ok.
Thu at 5:47pm

Oh No!!! Thank God all of you were safe. Let me know if you need anything.
Thu at 5:51pm

Glad ya'll are okay!!! Did the weather influence the accident?
Thu at 7:22pm

So sorry...what happened?
Thu at 7:29pm

So sorry to hear about your accident but glad everyone is okay!!!
Thu at 7:43pm

TJ: Hit ice on our road and ended up going off the road, down the ditch and hit some trees that then spun me sideways. I totaled the front...so....looking for a new car again.
Thu at 8:00pm

WOW! So sorry and SO glad you are OK.
Thu at 8:24pm

Glad to hear that you and the little ones are okay, but so sorry about the car. I know that must of been scary. I'm praying for you.
Thu at 9:19pm

so thankful you are all ok!
Thu at 9:19pm

WOW. That truly sucks. Do you have some kind of transport in the meantime? let me know if you need some chauffeuring!
Thu at 10:26pm ·

Glad y'all are ok!! Now the pleasure of searching for a car. Love you!
Thu at 10:53pm

WOW! Glad you guys are ok. Double WOW!
Thu at 11:24pm

Sorry to hear that! We just got home too and man was it scary icy! Glad you and the kids are OK!
Yesterday at 12:02am

girl...sooooo happy that you guys are okay....sorry about the car...it's a drag, I know.
Yesterday at 7:54am

Great to hear that you all are ok, T. We've got a very nice minivan we could sell you pretty cheap. It's real sporty in the only way minivans can be, and I am pretty sure I could talk M. into selling it!
Yesterday at 8:26am

TJ: D., may have to have you work on my neck. T., can you put sporty and minivan in the same sentence? We always seem to find cheaper vehicles in Clarksville, just don't want to make the drive.
Yesterday at 10:23am

LATER THAT SAME DAY…

TJ: Cool, my first concussion....pics of the car to come tomorrow.
Yesterday at 2:16pm

I thought you said you were ok! A concussion is not ok! I'm so sorry!!! Do you need any help?
Yesterday at 2:43pm

What in the world?? You really are hurt! How are the kids?
Yesterday at 2:46pm

TJ: Don't need help (although that's debatable). Mostly I just have some nausea and a little dizziness, it's mild, at least no pounding headache. The kids are fine, I just hit my head on the window at the end of my "ride". K., I might need a ride on Tuesday! :-)
Yesterday at 2:54pm

Wow, so sorry. Glad you are "okay." Let me know if I can help in some way.
Yesterday at 3:15pm

Well, there goes your football career.
Yesterday at 8:04pm

So sorry to hear about your accident! I hope you're going to be all right.
Yesterday at 8:58pm

Was it that bad? Were you by yourself?
Yesterday at 10:03pm

let me know if you need anything - transport, groceries, etc.!
4 hours ago ·

Y. saw the car... was surprised it was you..and I ditto what S. said.. let me know if you need anything.
about an hour ago

Here we have an instant response to a problem/need. 10 years ago, my friend would have had the car accident, and only a few people might ever know (if she happened to call them for assistance.) I should mention that this friend lives further out from town than anyone else I know. But now, by putting out this small but significant piece of news, the affection and support of her friends is made evident. The pleasure of offering assistance is made available to all of her friends, and she is encouraged by their concern and gladness for their safety.

In a small town, this sort of news might get around quickly, and the support of friends and neighbors gained by word of mouth. But since the development of the suburbs and their sprawl, the majority of people have become more isolated and lost the support of community life. Now through social networking on the internet, we seem to have regained a little of that community support. As long as it eventually translates into actual, face-to-face connections and tangible support, Facebook (frivolous and often inane as it is) is proving to be a benefit and a blessing.

How I Spent My Christmas Morning

2009-12-25T09:40:00.000-08:00

Drag myself out of bed at 8:30 (up til 1:00 am the night before; sang for Xmas Eve service) to get ready to go run the Nursery for the Christmas Day Service at church.
10:10 arrive at church. Hit first snag; door to downstairs is locked. Run get master keyring from Fr. Jerry, unlock door, take keyring back to office.
Go in Baby Room. Smoke alarm beeping shrilly; battery dying. Try and stand on chair to reach it; not tall enough. Delay further action til room set up.
Go to kitchenette to get pagers for parents dropping off babies. Door locked.
Go back upstairs, up to the altar, ask Fr. Jerry for his keys again as I have locked the master keyring back in his office. Says his son has them. Find son, son says he had given them back. Go to sacristy, tell Fr. Jerry, someone finds keys on counter.
Go get master keyring, take keys back to Fr. Jerry. Go back downstairs, open kitchenette. Keep keyring with me this time. Take out pagers and console, set up outside door.
Can't find Sign-In notebook. Begin to wonder if this whole nursery thing is a good idea. Go back into kitchenette to find paper for improvised Sign-In list, miraculously find notebook in a box.
Room finally set up, 10 minutes late. No babies yet... but also no assistant nursery worker, so unable to take babies in any case.
Go to downstairs boiler room and find ladder. Climb up to beeping smoke alarm, take out battery. Return ladder to boiler room. Return master keyring to office.
Get coffee.
Sit for about 5 minutes until 11 am. No babies, no additional childcare worker.
Put everything back, turn lights out, lock nursery. Go home.

Merry Christmas!
I should mention, I am more amused than annoyed. I do wonder if this was an important lesson or something... I can't seem to find the moral.

Christmas Letter 2009

2009-12-04T07:47:00.000-08:00

Christmas 2009

Dear Friends and Family,

As I write this, I am still waiting on an answer to an offer I made on a house ON THE 4TH OF JULY WEEKEND. It’s a short sale, which means the bank gets to decide, and apparently such long waits are routine. I waver daily as to whether I should go ahead and start packing books and things, or act as though it won’t actually go through (which at this rate is entirely possible, since the bank’s delay will probably mean the house will go into foreclosure, and all my waiting will have been for naught.) So my apartment is a mess, with stacks of empty boxes waiting to be filled. And I am SO anxious to leave my apartment - I’ve been there for 10 years, and have most definitely outgrown it.

Apart from this Joy Deferred, it’s been a pretty good year in all other respects; steady work with my House Calls business and many new clients (resulting in periodic Flood or Famine), a full year of singing with my church’s newish Chamber Singers ensemble, and the regular hobbies and social activities I’ve been doing for the last several years. I’ve now been working part-time for the American Economic Association on the Vanderbilt Campus for 4 years, and I am glad to say I still like it and my co-workers!

Let’s see, anything else important... I did get a new car in April; a white Honda Civic, precisely what I wanted, with ridiculously low mileage on the odometer. It’s so odd how you can despise one car and love another. Although that love may well die when I have my first big repair bill!

My sister Greta and her family have moved to Batesville, AR after a year in a small town in New Hampshire (which I never even got to see!) and are living in my Grandmother’s old house. It’s so good to have them closer to Nashville, and conveniently located in the same town as all of my other maternal relatives! My nieces and nephews are all getting too big for words. They’re all too old to cuddle without much rolling of eyes. Although Henry (8) is still the little Hug Monster and will gladly provide hugs on demand. Elliott has just turned 16 and is driving quite well, so I have officially lost 50% of my value as an Aunt Within Driving Distance, alas! I still babysit for Amy’s kids occasionally, which is nice, when I’m not being The Evil Aunt Who Forbids Video Games; they don’t like her very much. We all got together this Thanksgiving at Amy’s and it was an absolutely fabulous time. It was PlayEatPlayDrinkPlayShop, and I think everyone enjoyed themselves.

Several women of my family (mom, sisters, aunt and cousin) went on a Girls Weekend in October to a conference in Memphis, but I think we quickly realized that we’d all rather just hang out together and go shopping. (I, of course, foresaw this, and made no effort to actually sign up for the conference in the first place!) We had such a good time that we’re already talking about when we can do it again. Mom is suggesting a villa in SPAIN. A bit of a jump there!

As always, I’m doing a lot of needlework and crochet in my spare time. This year I entered several pieces in the Williamson County and TN State Fairs, and won a few ribbons and one Best in Show! The prize money isn’t anything worthwhile (in fact, after entry fees and fair admission, I made precisely $1 from the State Fair) but it’s fun to do, and a prize ribbon is always a nice little pick-me-up. I suppose this means I have officially become the Old Maiden Aunt, and you may find me in years to come sitting on a porch in a rocking chair. With my laptop. And I finally finished my Tennessee Sampler after working on it off and on for 3 years! Now if I can just get low-interest financing to frame the thing...

Current Fascinations & Obsessions
British TV shows. I have always had an affinity for British comedy; well, this year it exploded. I became obsessed with quiz shows that you can only see clips of on YouTube, like QI (Quite Interesting), 8 out of 10 Cats, and Would I Lie To You?, along with Supersizers Go..., a show where 2 writer/comedians eat, dress and live as people did in an earlier time period, such as Elizabethan, Victorian, etc. It makes you profoundly grateful for our modern diet! But anything that combines history and humor is my idea of perfect entertainment. And Doctor Who is still on the top of my list, of course.

Radio Shows and Podcasts. I’ve become more addicted this year to a variety of audio shows, like NPR’s Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me and BBC’s The News Quiz, as well as more amateur programs like The History of Rome, and Stuff You Should Know. A few years ago I realized that after years of fiction, I was really hungry for non-fiction and genuine information, as well as a return to the cultural History that I used to love so much I got a degree. Now years later, I know more about current and past events than I ever did when that was my educational focus! And they do a marvelous job of whiling away the hours on the road each week going from job to job.

Sitcoms. Thank goodness, they aren’t actually dead as they periodically claim in various articles. There are a ton of really good ones on at present; How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, 30 Rock, Better Off Ted... then there’s all the ones everyone tells me I should be watching, but really, I watch too much TV as it is. I guess it’s part and parcel of the current economic downturn that we need comedy more than usual.

I wish I had more of interest to share, but my life is fairly quiet these days, except for the occasional flood of work and church music. By the way, if you get the chance to attend a Handel’s Messiah Sing-Along this Christmas, I HIGHLY recommend it; it will absolutely knock your socks off! I almost wished that I was just listening instead of participating; the sound was so enormous! I will be producing the Christmas Concert at St. Bartholomew’s again this year (December 20th @ 7pm); please consider yourself invited!

God bless and keep you this Christmas Season and in 2010...

Love, Susan

Latest Obsession

2009-11-09T09:15:00.000-08:00

I love the internet. It allows for the discovery of so many things you would never find or learn about otherwise. Despite my occasional lapse into Luddite musings on "what am I going to do to support myself when Civilization collapses a la 'The Road'," and "I really do need to acquire a farm and learn how to live off it exclusively," and "I wonder if I could get the Amish to adopt me," I am entirely addicted to the convenience of looking up whatever I find interesting on the spot.

This has lead to any number of UK-based entertainments, and massive quantities of historical tidbits. A week or so ago, I downloaded a BBC Radio show for my iPod, "Friday Night Comedy with Sandy Toksvig" and heard the voice of someone named Sue Perkins, who was hysterically funny. So I Wiki-d her name, and discovered a TV show she had made last year called "Supersizers Go..."

Hop over to YouTube, and I found entire episodes in 10-minute chunks. The show's premise is this: Sue and restaurant critic Giles Coren live for a week as people would in a particular time period, and eat the food of that period exclusively. They dress in the styles of the period, live in a period house, and generally do the activities and pursuits of the time as well. What adds an additional dimension of scientific interest is the fact that they go to the doctor for a checkup before and after, to see how the diet effects their health.

This is endlessly entertaining. I love history most of all in the context of how a society lives day to day... what they read, what they listen to, how they dress, what they eat. This show is NOTHING but social history, and hilariously presented at the same time; not in the "let's do an amusing show to teach children about history!" style, but because Giles and Sue are both such inventive and amusing people, their responses to some of the more appalling foods and activities is laugh-out-loud funny.

I think I've managed to watch all of the episodes, although the first one I saw, "Elizabethan," was such an eye opener, that it has given me an overarching impression for the rest of the series: Thank God we can eat vegetables. It has profoundly affected the way I regard my daily diet, and I hope will also prompt me to make some significant reductions in the junk that I typically eat.

Now, of course, I have moved on to reading Giles Coren's columns in The Times, and although I think he needs to soften his aggressiveness a bit at times, I'm still rather charmed by the memory of how well he looks in Mr. Darcy's coat and attire, and how even in a Restoration wig or Brillcremed hair (1950s) he looks entirely at home in any period. And his habit of affectionately calling Sue "My dear" (she typically played his wife, in a rather sisterly manner) is quite appealing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Supersizers...

Letter to a Friend

2009-10-21T08:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Mike,

Long time no... um... see? Doesn't really apply when we don't really talk on the phone (maybe once a year?), haven't actually seen each other in 20 years (that trip to Japan was exactly 20 years ago last month!) and don't really email each other unless I'm pestering you with a computer question. Yet I feel like I have a decent grasp on what's going on in your life through your blog and Facebook and stuff like that... you have three kids (Sarah, Jay, and Lily) your wife is Stefanie and you still live in MI and work at UMich. And you paint models. I can't really say that much about any of the people I went to high school with, and only one person I went to college with, and that's because I actually see him on a weekly basis!

So is this the typical friendship of the 21st century? We wrote a ton of letters about anime and manga (BTW have you seen Ponyo yet?), met only twice in our lives, and yet we've actually managed to keep track of each other and have a fairly good idea of what's going on with each other and I can confidently send you a prayer request on occasion. That's pretty amazing when you think about it!

And what's more strange is that you are actually one of the few constants in my life! I stayed in the Nashville area for college and career, while most everyone else left or drifted away... and a guy in Michigan is actually a more faithful friend than 99% of them! You are still "Mike in MI" in my own personal mental shorthand after 2 decades.

This is neat. Really, really neat.

Anyway, hope you've had a good summer... it was really a surprisingly mild summer here in TN; July was in the 70s for most of the month, which is wildly unusual and made me a much happier person, especially because I didn't have much work and could actually relax a bit after 9 ridiculously busy months. Business is strong (thank God!) and although there are times I would like to tell people to stop calling me because I'm feeling overwhelmed, it doesn't actually happen that much. Personal achievements:

Won Best-in-Show for my needlework sampler at the Williamson County Fair (winning through sheer mass rather than genuine quality, I suspect; the thing is about 4 feet long and took me over 2 years to complete)
Completed a "season" with the newly-formed Chamber Singers group at my church - we prepared songs for 2 Sundays a month for 8 months and did a full concert at the end of May. We start up again tomorrow!
Paid off the last of my student loans
Made an offer on a house (short sale; will take months to find out if I get it, stupid banks!)
Actually managed to exercise occasionally for the last 2 months
Decided I actually prefer the spinster life that stretches out before me... which lasted for all of 5 minutes until an absolute baby showed up in our office with an engagement ring. Fought my way back with the reminder that I do not have to buy clothes for a guy, nor pick up children from soccer.
Went to the beach with a friend for the first time in... ever. I've only ever been with family or by myself.

OK, time for your list back! Sincerely, Susan in TN

Panda da!

2009-09-17T20:18:00.001-07:00

I am SO pleased at how well this turned out! I couldn't find a pattern I liked so I sort of winged it; although I did find some amazing pictures of similar projects online that helped me figure out how to do the eyes.

What Scares Me Most

2009-09-13T12:08:00.000-07:00

You know, as a chronic hypochondriac, fear of illness is a regular companion of mine. It was made more complicated in my youth, when I was so fearful of doctors and needles that I would think I might have appendicitis... but was too scared to go get it checked out. It made for many fearful days. I eventually got over the worst of my fears and have had blood work and various shots in the last decade with minor angst.

4 years ago, I lost my job at William Morris, and went on COBRA for 18 (very expensive) months. Now as a self-employed computer technician, I have been uninsured for 2.5 years, and have only a small healthcare cushion in the form of Christian Healthcare Ministries; it doesn't cover much, but does serve as protection against a Worst Case Scenario of cancer or a car wreck. Most of the big expenses will be covered. Because I am overweight and take prozac, I can't even get insurance companies to respond to my application without requiring ridiculously high premiums, so I am grateful for this small shield.

In the midst of the current wildfire over healthcare reform, I am one of those who is personally concerned with the outcome. It is the difference between being able to go to the doctor when I have a bad fall and twist my knee, and sitting at home with an ice pack and ibuprofin and praying that it's nothing serious. That's fear. And in every news story, every debate on the virtues and failings of both the current American system and socialized medicine, the rage and the unwillingness to concede a single point is just that: fear. We are terrified of being helpless.

I hear an interview on the radio with a young woman who developed cancer and had no insurance and the horrors she endured as a result, and my instinctive response is to get a full-time job at Starbucks so I can have insurance.

I hear stories from Canada and the UK and Europe about people who had to wait months for an appointment and received critical care too late, and my instinctive response is to call my congresspersons and beg them to stop the proposed reform.

I hear nothing but fear and accusation, really. The government is in the pocket of the pharmaceutical industry... the government wants to dictate our care... we'll be taxed to pay for lazy slobs who can't be bothered to eat right or exercise... the insurance companies are really just out to make money... the doctors in the US don't care as much for their patients... the doctors in Europe don't care as much for their patients... People in Canada come to the US for critical care because they can't get it there...

Every time I try and make sense of the whirling dervishes of healthcare rhetoric, I become more disillusioned and confused, and feel less confident in ANYTHING that purports to fix the problem. In my worldly self, I would rather just let the American system stay as it is, and hope to get insurance again someday, because I have no faith in our government to effectively reform healthcare. I would rather be in debt for quality care, than pay nothing for essentially weak/poor care.

And then I remember the nature of society... to find a fear, and ride it into the ground. Once it was illegal immigrants, once it was Communism, once it was Indians, once it was smallpox, once it was Catholics, once it was the Plague, once it was the Vikings, once it was the Romans, once it was the Persians. All those fears which had genuine danger underlying them have long since passed, but our makeup as humans seems to require something to be frightened of. So by all means, let's be frightened of Socialism creeping in through the guise of healthcare reform; it helps take our mind off the economy.

I actually think it's sortof good for me to not have health insurance. Good health insurance gives you the illusion of having an armed guard to protect you wherever you go; well, that armed guard is easily recalled at any moment, so it's best not to rely upon it. I will be far better cared for by God than by Blue Cross, even though I cannot tell how or know what form it will take. When I fell down 2 weeks ago and twisted my knee badly, I cried because I was helpless and couldn't afford to go to the doctor. I told some friends, and asked for prayer. Advice rolled in from medical professionals: prop your knee up, ice it frequently, take anti-inflammatories for the first 24-48 hours, the first 2 days are crucial. Many, many people prayed. And my knee slowly and steadily grew better. Now, 2 weeks later, it's about 95% normal (I have hyper-extended knees, and can't fully extend it yet) and I scarcely limp at all. It is discernibly better each day.

Was it really a bad accident? I don't know if I'll ever know. It might have been just a bad wrench of the knee muscles. But it also might have been something worse that was healed through prayer. And I survived it (quite well, actually) without consulting with the healthcare industry. It was not fun being scared... but I much prefer the method and results.

Susan is on the Warpath

2009-09-04T18:30:00.000-07:00

I have been "pimping" (for lack of a better word) Carbonite's online backup service for over 2 years now, to clients and friends. I would venture to say I have persuaded dozens of clients to sign up for their service, and it hasn't been all bad. It has saved the files of several people whose computers died spectacularly, and considering most of them would have had no backup at all without it, it has been an admirably cheap solution.

BUT.

I have just discovered their appalling, pitiful excuse for customer support, and a loophole they've provided for themselves in the Terms of Use that none of us ever read; basically, they can delete your files if your computer doesn't connect to the carbonite service for an undetermined length of time. Your computer dies, and you don't get a replacement quickly and re-establish your carbonite account? Say goodbye to 5 years worth of family photos. Your internet goes out for a week? Too bad. You'd better hope that your computer doesn't die before you can get back online and let carbonite rebuild your entire backup from scratch!

It costs $19.99 to get "priority" phone support; ludicrous, if the product that I am paying for won't work, even after following all of the online support. It took over 20 minutes of painfully slow online support chat to discover that my client's backup had simply been deleted - after several "did you try this?" comments from "Ralph", I finally asked point-blank "DO YOU SEE MY DATA ON YOUR SERVERS?" 5 minutes later, he finally responded that the data had been deleted.

So now I am on a mission - to warn all of my clients and friends that Carbonite.com is an unreliable and basically dishonest service, and they would be better served to switch to either SugarSync.com or Mozy.com, as I intend to do myself. Both are well reviewed and have good value for cost, while carbonite is only #9 out of 10.

A Current Fascination

2009-08-12T18:33:00.000-07:00

I loathe walking. Well, not LOATHE, but Sincerely Dislike. The only ways I can endure it is if I specifically am walking to GET somewhere (like, when I was in England and walking was absolutely necessary and therefore unnoticeable), or if it's a particularly beautiful walk. It is my great good fortune that I have recently gotten permission to go for walks in one of the most lovely places on earth (IMHO). It's a gated community not too far from my apartment, and it's just breathtaking - rolling hills, beautiful mansions, tons of deer.

It's also home to masses of birds, especially bluebirds. This, to me, was a sign, insofar as I have a Sign... the first bluebird I ever consciously recognized was in a wilderness camp, as I was leaving the wedding of a dear young friend who was almost like a son to me. I remember seeing it fly overhead and suddenly knew that THAT was an authentic bluebird, and I had seen it on the day of Neil's wedding, which meant it would be a happy one.

In the years since, I have started spotting them with more frequency, especially in the last year. Each time I felt a thrill, and had the conscious thought that Something Good was imminent. So to see so very many on my recent walks in my little demi-Paradise is like a confirmation (I admit, I'm not sure of what precisely). I don't believe in totem animals; I am a sucker for certain ones like cats and bunnies and Pomeranians... but I do attribute a positive significance to bluebirds.

I remember first reading about the concept of "The Bluebird of Happiness" in Ballet Shoes, by Noel Streatfeild - the girls were in a pantomime of Maurice Maeterlinck's The Blue Bird, which tells of the quest of 2 children for the Bluebird of Happiness. Of course, my interest in the signficance of bluebirds is rather spoilt by the nauseating song "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" with its line "If happy little bluebirds fly/Beyond the rainbow/Why oh why can't I?" (I am bored silly by The Wizard of Oz. Never cared for it.) But still my fascination remains, partially due to the rarity of spotting them. Cardinals and bluejays aplenty, but few bluebirds. They are made precious by their scarcity.

New Bit of Brilliance

2009-08-12T11:10:00.000-07:00

http://xkcd.com/

Insured

2009-08-11T09:06:00.000-07:00

I had a lengthy and spirited debate with some friends this past weekend about the Healthcare debacle and the Obama Administration's proposed plan. Even among a small group of fairly mellow and affectionate friends, the words sometimes became heated, and I went away feeling a vague feeling of dread and discouragement at some of the facts and figures revealed during the discussion. If a group of smart and respectful friends couldn't come to any reasonable conclusions over the current healthcare situation, how could we possibly expect the government to make all the right choices and truly benefit the public?

The fact is, they can't, and they won't. It's easy to get bogged down in the details of various systems throughout the world, and to be furious at the perceived inequties... but the underlying fact is that we live in a broken world, and we're probably going to f*&k it up, no matter how good our intentions. It's just too big, and we're just too selfish, incompetent and lazy to fix it. The economy will rise and fall, healthcare will grow impossibly complex, the environment will continue to deteriorate, and people will be treated badly and unfairly by other people.

I've been living without real insurance for almost 3 years now; after I lost my job at William Morris, I had COBRA for 18 months and spent a small fortune to hang on to it, to squeeze every last drop of medical support I could from it. When it ran out, I applied with my insurance agent for a single plan, and found out that I'm horribly expensive to insure - I take Prozac, and I'm overweight, which makes me well-nigh uninsurable. I could get a plan, but would pay more than I could really afford. I would pay hundreds each month, all for the possibility of serious illness. I just can't bring myself to do it - money's tight, and in general I'm quite healthy. For those few days each year when I might actually need to see a doctor, I would pay thousands.

I did sign up for Christian Healthcare Ministries as a sort of emergency cushion - for $150 a month, I have access to a lump sum of money I can count on to pay for the big stuff, like cancer or a car accident. No preventative care, or x-rays, or prescriptions - the deductible is something like $5000. But it's better than nothing!

Sometimes it is scary, when I'm not feeling well and I don't know the cause... or when I think about the decades to come where my health will inevitably deteriorate. But the fact of the matter is, I don't feel like worrying about potential medical needs - I don't want it to be the Big Thing in my life. When did it become so huge, so significant a thing, where we would scream at each other in Town Hall meetings and go batsh*$ crazy on the news? Yes, our health is vitally significant, and quality of life is important... but our increased reliance on societal structures to take care of us, be it medical, or Social Security, etc., is not a good thing.

I'm going to have to rely on God to take care of me... I doubt I'll have enough to retire, and yes, I may end up with diabetes or cancer. I will probably have no spouse (and certainly, no children) to provide for me either. This means I only have God to fall back on when things start to fall apart. The government may help a little, if it hasn't all gone completely to pot... but in the final analysis, God will be the one doing the heavy lifting.

This is undeniably scary... how he'll take care of me is a source of much anxiety to me. But after stripping away all of the illusions of insurance and government provisions and familial support, he is all there is left to us. I have reason to believe he's Good and has my best interests at heart... and this is something I don't have reason to believe about the government.

A Theory

2009-07-16T18:13:00.001-07:00

Time is like embroidery - on the face of it, it looks reasonable, rational and well-ordered. But underneath, it is a seemingly disorganized mass of erratic stitches; threads that seem to have no correlation to the pattern above, and yet each stitch is placed in such a way so it will appear harmoniously above.

How can our lives within the insubstantial "seen" transcend that fabric while we are still here and corporeal? Maybe it's not time travel, or The Matrix, but another state of transcendence... Perhaps this is how ghosts have become part of our mythology - how can they be envisioned when we do not return to this "seen" after death? Perhaps the linen is worn thin in places (since entropy is inescapable) and we are able to see the incomprehensible mass of stitches underneath.

My Review of "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies"

2009-07-07T09:54:00.000-07:00

Finished Pride & Prejudice & Zombies last night. It had some genuinely funny moments (the Readers Guide at the end which was a parody of those Book Club "questions for the readers" was laugh out loud funny), but I didn't care for:

1. constant descriptions of gore,
2. inconsistencies between Japanese and Chinese culture, like a reference to Darcy's housekeeper being in a kimono, but with bound feet - stupid mistake to make!
3. copious illustrations, which were done in the style I call "Generic Old-Timey", which in this case meant that the women's clothes were not even remotely Regency.
4. the poor execution. They had a really amazing chance to do a subtle concept, but decided to go a bit more slapsticky and departed JUST enough from the traditional narrative to make it seem a bit cheap. The writer gave the Bennet girls warrior abilities (to fight zombies, they were trained by a Shaolin master!), and therefore, the difficulties of their situation as helpless and unskilled women, and therefore dependent on marriage for a future, is stripped from the narrative so it loses something...

BUT, I would definitely go to see a movie version! I think it would would be much better served by a film adaptation. And the writer's decision to give British society such a genteel approach to the zombies (calling them "unmentionables" and "the sorry stricken") has moments of genius. But it was inconsistently blended, and so I found myself reading in a very disjointed way - I was continually being jerked out of the story. But it certainly gives one food for thought! Because it's almost a deconstruction of the original story, it sparks the imagination with "what if"s, in an Alternate Universe sort of way.

I wanted it to be better. But it has stuck with me, which I suppose is something!

Iran and Democracy

2009-06-19T19:30:00.000-07:00

All week I have been following the Twitter feed on the Iranian Uprising over election fraud, as well as a really good continual tracking blog on The Huffington Post. (I don't know WHEN writer Nico Pitney gets any sleep - his blog posts are around the clock!)

Anyway, it's inspiring and exhilarating and deeply moving to read various tidbits from individuals in Iran who are resisting tyranny and the Khamenei government's efforts to block anyone from trying to write about the events online. See an example (from Huffington Post) below:

4:16 PM ET -- "Maybe I will be one of the people who is going to get killed." A blog post in Persian, translated by the NIAC.

"I will participate in the demonstrations tomorrow. Maybe they will turn violent. Maybe I will be one of the people who is going to get killed. I'm listening to all my favorite music. I even want to dance to a few songs. I always wanted to have very narrow eyebrows. Yes, maybe I will go to the salon before I go tomorrow! There are a few great movie scenes that I also have to see. I should drop by the library, too. It's worth to read the poems of Forough and Shamloo again. All family pictures have to be reviewed, too. I have to call my friends as well to say goodbye. All I have are two bookshelves which I told my family who should receive them. I'm two units away from getting my bachelors degree but who cares about that. My mind is very chaotic. I wrote these random sentences for the next generation so they know we were not just emotional and under peer pressure. So they know that we did everything we could to create a better future for them. So they know that our ancestors surrendered to Arabs and Mongols but did not surrender to despotism. This note is dedicated to tomorrow's children..."

My God, what can we possibly say to that?! Can you imagine preparing yourself for possible death in this way? If this new revolution succeeds, then Iran will far surpass America in the sacrifices required for Democracy. We've not had to truly fight and sacrifice in a long, long time for Liberty (despite what current extremists might say to the contrary); we've become soft and complacent. But they will be heading out soon for an unsanctioned demonstration, where they have already been warned by the tyrants feigning a mandate that they will be prosecuted... which means, attacked and beaten and killed. All we can do here, really, is pray; there's no material assistance we can give like after a natural disaster. Money won't help with this sort of battle.

Daily Chuckle

2009-06-05T07:41:00.000-07:00

A good morning for funny children videos!

A Crisis of Faith

2009-05-12T16:06:00.001-07:00

Boy, this is a doozy.

I have been listening to Sarah Vowell's The Wordy Shipmates audiobook this week for the second time (I adore her writing, and have listened to/read all of her books several times), and it is hitting me much harder than it did the first time through. While not as entertaining as her other historical treatise Assassination Vacation, it is so packed with interesting little historical tales that it is still good the second time through.

It is all about the founding of the Massachusetts Bay
colony; John Winthrop and his utopian "Shining City on a Hill," Roger Williams and Anne Hutchenson, the native Americans... and lots and lots of appallingly UNCHRISTIAN behavior. Vowell is an atheist, despite a religious upbringing that mirrors my own in many ways, but she does not despise religion to the point where she condemns all of it; I think she is reasonably fair-handed in her descriptions of the more egregious abuses of those who came to America for religious freedom.

However.

It has kicked up a whirlwind in me about how horrible we Christians can and have been throughout history. A truly honest appraisal of the history of our faith is so galling in what it reveals in our contradictions to the love of Christ, that it cannot help but make you wonder how we can possibly make any claim for the morality of our religion. How can we possibly expect anyone to hear a sermon about what Christ did for us, and how they should join our faith, with our track record over the last 2 centuries?

I still have faith in Christ; I'm not questioning my belief in him... but how can we say we're really following him with things like the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, the wars of the Protestant Reformation, and the near genocide of the native Americans in the name of founding a Christian nation? How can we get SO MUCH wrong, if we think we're doing God's will? I can explain the violence of their methods a little bit by remembering how incredibly brutal daily life was through the 1800s... when brutal methods are practiced by everyone as a matter of law, government, and general social life, it tends to seep over into the subconscious. In our human weakness, I can sortof understand why they would think a suitable punishment for contrary religious beliefs would be to slice off the offenders' ears and banish them from the area.

But we're supposed to be above that! And for a society so newly enraptured and soaked in scripture, (since translated Bibles had only been actually available to the general population for a few decades) you would think that directions from Jesus like the Sermon on the Mount would be the new set of rules for daily living... instead, it was a constant barrage of Calvinist fear and trembling and "you must behave like this or you're damned."

With every disillusioning chapter of this book, I find myself searching desperately for a rock to hold on to, and with all of the falsities and sins of Christian history being burned away in my mind, the only thing to remain is Christ and the Bible. I cannot make amends for the sins of our Christian forebears, nor can I end the modern church's ugly battles over homosexuality and abortion. The only thing I can do is try and saturate myself in the 2 commandments that Jesus said were the most important: Love the Lord your God with all your mind, heart and soul; and Love your neighbors as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. If I'm doing my part by sticking to those 2 tenets, then I'm doing what God asks.

Related Vicissitude:
In a more practical sense, the Christian charity that would result if all Christians automatically behaved as dictated by these 2 tenets, would have VERY interesting political ramifications. I'm so continually disgusted by the Conservative Right's 24-7 rants about the efforts of Obama's administration to ameliorate some of the more devastating effects of our current economic crisis--because I'm always thinking now, "If we Christians were doing what Christ told us to do, then our government wouldn't need to create such legislation." Taking care of the poor and the sick and the helpless is part of Christ's mandate for us; but we're not really making much of an effort. So the government is having to do it. Attacking them for actually making an effort to help the pitiful (despite the probable freeloaders who will take advantage of the system, and the inevitable, ill-conceived methods of relief that might make things worse) is a nasty, mean-spirited thing for Christians to do. Make such legislation unnecessary by your charity.

Aaaaand here I am telling other Christians how to behave. It didn't take me any time at all to start judging, did it?! *sigh*

Lengthy Absence

2009-05-06T11:49:00.000-07:00

I do apologize excessively for my extended absence from this blog; it's been an exceedingly busy 6 months, and only now has it wound down enough to have the leisure to go a-blogging. Let's see, what noteworthy comments have I to make...

I sang backup in the cover band "Banana Bread" with friends Rebecca and Monique at the end of March for my friend Rachel's 30th birthday (she sang lead). It was quite fun, although with the schedule I've been enduring lately, it made my attitude less than agreeable at times!
I went to the beach for the first time in 4 years a couple of weeks ago. I pretty much was running at top speed until the night we arrived, at which point I had an anxiety attack at the sudden and unexpected drop in my stress levels. Obviously, I need to make sure that I kick back and relax more regularly in future!
I joined a Chamber Singers group at my church last fall, and we are having a big concert on Sunday May 31st. You should come!
Facebook is marvelous. The high school reunion I REALLY longed for, that of my Choir group the SophistiCats, is now an almost quarterly event, as we are getting together periodically for dinners. We could NEVER have made such wide-ranging connections without the help of Facebook! Our director, Bobby Jean Frost, is the sort of teacher who changes lives, and it was amazing to have her come to our last dinner and find out what she's been doing since retirement.
Work is steadily increasing... not to the extent of being full-time, but enough to keep the bills paid in conjunction with my part-time job at the AEA. It'll be 4 years come August!

A Good One!

2009-04-04T10:28:00.001-07:00

thanks to failblog.org!

Historical Comedy

2009-03-17T09:37:00.000-07:00

My latest obsession: historical comedy; namely, the cartoons of Kate Beaton. Go visit her site, especially if you have a historical or literary bent (or have ever watched Black Adder obsessively). You might not get all of the references, but go nonetheless. In the example below, we have a Victoria and Albert scenario...

Epic Auto Saga

2009-03-06T18:58:00.000-08:00

Aren't I doing a better job of posting consistently lately?

I feel like I need to start this off like a Bard, "...and this is the way of it..." (Stephen R. Lawhead holla!). My Toyota Corolla has been burning up oil in the exhaust for a few years now, and it has gotten so bad that I have to top up the oil TWICE between oil changes... basically, every 1000 miles. It's been looked at by 2 exceptional mechanics, whose attempts at repair have been fruitless, because it needed major surgery to fix - leaky valve covers was the proposed problem, which would necessitate taking out the engine, which would necessitate $1000 or more.

When the engine light went on for the 3rd time in the last twelvemonth, I said ENOUGH. I was not going to replace another O2 sensor and catalytic converter. I had never been happy with the car, which I bought from Carmax when my beloved 98 Civic Hatchback was dying. EVERYONE said, "oh, a Toyota's as good as a Honda!" so I believed them. I have just discovered that, in fact, the 2001 Corolla was MADE BY GM. Yes, THAT GM. I have been driving a GEO PRISM for 5 years now. It's the same car under the hood.

So, my dislike was entirely justified. It wasn't helped by the fact that red cars are statistically more likely to be pulled over for speeding (as I can attest to) and it kept getting hit or dinged (twice by my sister). Just dismal. So I decided that it mattered not that it wasn't paid off; I would sell it and hope to break even, and go get myself another Civic so this wouldn't happen again.

I got a broker - very kind man named Marvin Nischan, who found a buyer for my Corolla, then went to work looking for a Honda that met my very basic requirements (price, any color but red or yellow, under 70K miles, AC and automatic). He and I both knew that it would be hard to find, as Hondas are in high demand in pre-owned sales. He found my dream car... but it was residing in the Hell known as Crest Honda, and they wouldn't deal with brokers. So he gave up any commission he might make, told me about it, and I went into battle. It was worth it - white car (the color I wanted!) dark gray interior (the color I wanted! doesn't show dirt) 2004 Civic, with only 18,900 miles on it, and a really low price.

I will not detail all of the frustrations and road blocks that arose for the 48+ hours I struggled to win this car... I will mention that although I was treated respectfully and politely by all staff at the dealership, they would attempt to get me to finance the car at a ludicrous interest rate (12.99%) by not letting me know the rate until I'd signed all the other paperwork. "Well, THAT will have to change!" I said when I finally spotted it, "I know I only paid half that on my last car!" The financial director claimed that "things had changed" in the last 4 years which explained the higher rates, but that he would try to improve it.

I took the car to my mechanic to give it a once-over, and called everyone I could think of who was knowledgeable about car sales to tell me what the going rate on car loans was... I finally got my bank on the phone and discovered their lowest rate was 4.9%, so I went back to Crest to (politely) give them the chance to cut their rate in half. Nope, 8% and no lower. So, off to the bank!

I waited over an hour and a half to see a bank officer to apply. By now, I was tired, frustrated, and not really sure I wanted that car anymore, but I would just think about how dreamy the car was; white, 19K miles, low price and a Civic!, and I would decide to struggle on. The loan officer was SO nice - overworked, but nice and patient and willing to help in any way she could. God bless Joan Watkins at US Bank!

More paperwork and proof of income would be required. More fuss and bother and delay. Staying away from Crest helped. When finally Joan said I needed this past year's tax return to prove my income (I'm nowhere near to having that done!) she suggested that to not lose the car, I might go ahead and accept the higher interest rate at the dealership, and then refinance in the next few weeks after my taxes were done. As I prepared to go back and do just that, my mom stepped in and gave me an alternative arrangement; she'd pay upfront, and I'd finance it later. That way there was no chance of any penalties or additional costs.

So I got my car. I'm debating whether or not it was an answer to prayer, or whether or not I tried to force it to become an answer to prayer. I do know it was prayed for, and that it was precisely what I wanted, and did not think I could actually get!

Why am I reciting all of this in a blog posting? Several reasons: 1) to put out there that Crest Honda should be approached with real caution, (and cash, if you're buying); 2) that some Corollas are lemons; and 3) that a car to a single woman is as important as a child, and almost as emotionally draining. I am exHAUSTED. I will be driving this car into the ground (or 10 years, at least) because I do not want to have to go through this again anytime soon!

Brilliant Children, and the Old Maids Who Love Them...

2009-02-27T20:31:00.000-08:00

Long-time readers of this blog have heard often about my friends Shane and Anna, and their newish son YoYo. In every conversation with Anna, she tells me yet another amazing remark that YoYo made this week. I am convinced he will be either the next Einstein, DaVinci, or some equally important titan of human history. For a three year old who's only really learned English in the last 9 months, he has an insightfulness and a clarity of thought astonishing in a kid who can't read yet.

He's also hysterically funny at times. To set up today's example; I will occasionally call or visit the Caudills, but by no means am I a constant visitor. I do have Auntie privileges (I am referred to as Aunt Susan) but in general I see them once a week at most. Despite the lack of regular interaction, I think YoYo likes the idea of me (while not disinterested in me, he doesn't feel the need to stick by me when there are toys at hand - he is a focused Playa), enough so that he will speak of me even when I am absent, although I can't imagine why.

Anyway, Shane just sent me this:

So Anna was talking to her mom on the phone, and Yoyo didn't want to talk to Nana... so he comes out of his room on his toy phone saying, "oh, yes aunt Susan. what aunt Susan? would you like to talk to my little boy, aunt Susan?" and hands me the phone. "It's aunt Susan, she wants to talk to you."

I laughed so hard I cried. He just keeps coming out with these bizzare little diamonds of comedy and observation.

Here's another sample of his unexpectedness:

There's nothing like a little boy from China bouncing around to T-Bone Burnett!

The Plague in Middle Tennessee

2009-02-23T15:20:00.000-08:00

Since early January 2009, I have been fighting against a tide of malware, viruses, trojans, rogue agents, and shyster software unlike anything I've dealt with in the last 2 years. It's been great for business, but it's no fun for anyone to have to deal with. So here's some preventative measures you can take - even if your system is clean at present, having the tools in place will be handy if you do get infected)-. It will take probably an hour or two, but might take longer if it's really deeply rooted.

1) If you are needing an antivirus software (if you don't already have one, or a Norton/McAfee subscription is running out) then AVG Free is the best solution - it's free, and works better than either of those 2 major softwares! You can easily get it at download.com.

2) The quickest way to run a scan and clean up your system is to download and install Malwarebytes' Anti-Malware, also available at download.com. It's the simplest, fastest and most thorough software I have found for this purpose, and I have used it constantly since "the Plague" descended in January.

3) Also consider getting the latest version of Ad-Aware from download.com. It takes a while to download, install, and update, but it can sometimes find problems that MAM and AVG miss.

Between these three tools (all of them are free) you can be 95% certain you've cleaned up any nasties on your computer. MAM and AA can both be installed safely, since they are anti-Malware, and don't have any conflicts with each other, but make sure you have removed any pre-existing antivirus software before installing AVG (you can only have one AV software at a time!)

Bear in mind that if you have some of the more virulent and malicious softwares on your computer, it will probably fight letting you download, install and scan with these tools. You may need to download the software to a flash drive on another computer, then install it on the infected computer. Sometimes you can't even do this, and the only solution is to take out the hard drive and hook it up to another computer and run the scan from there - that way it's essentially powerless to resist. I can do this if necessary.

That's a lot to throw at you, but it's the approach I've been taking for some years now, and it generally works. You can contact me if you get stuck, or if you don't want to hassle with it! :)

Middle-Aged Child

2009-02-21T07:17:00.000-08:00

I was struck this morning by a particular dilemma that I will probably be struggling under for the rest of my life; that of being an immature adult. I live the life of an adult - I work, live alone, drive myself places, I spend my time with other adults, I do responsible and mature things - but I feel so terribly childish and inexperienced at odd times. I don't know anything about REAL self-sacrifice; the kind that only comes with marriage or children. And as such, I feel retarded in my maturation process.

I still call guys "dude" - and I'm a middle-aged woman! I just spent an evening practicing music with a cover band, all of whom are younger than me, and was telling them all about the new Demetri Martin TV show. It's not that I'm trying to stay young; but I can't stop doing certain childish things. At the same time, my favorite activities include needlework while I watch PBS history series. I delight in toys from Doctor Who, and I like dispensing advice to new mothers. I collect pictures of kittens and bunnies, and I crochet afghans.

At some point, I was supposed to put away childish things, and yet because I'm single, it's never really happened. At what point do I gracefully transition into being a middle-aged woman, when I have no children, no house, and no husband? I'm not complaining - I like my independence and the freedom to come and go as I please, and am glad to avoid the frustrations and sacrifices of marriage... and St. Paul recommended the single life for people who had the gift for it. But without those experiences that go along with family life, how do I ever catch up with my peers?

There are worse things - I am well and generally content. But somehow, I feel like an Excessively Late Bloomer.

Christmas Card 2008

2008-12-22T10:38:00.000-08:00

This was the Christmas card sent out by my family in 1970. In the interests of recycling, I think it makes a perfectly adequate Christmas card for 2008, don’t you?

Plus I’m WAAAAY cuter in this picture than I am now. (I'm the one standing.)

Dear Friends and Family,

I’m not doing my usual Christmas letter where I give you far more information than you probably want on my hobbies and employment; in a nutshell, I am busy, healthy, and reasonably satisfied with my life. Despite the current economic crisis, I am unaccountably hopeful for the future, and looking forward to 2009.

I turned 40 this month, and as I turn this corner, it is the last time I plan on openly announcing my age. As I venture onward into Old Maidenhood, I plan on living a productive & engaged existence and keeping the number of cats I own to a reasonable number. I will probably continue to have a new hobby every year or so (For 2008 it’s amigurumi—wikipedia.org/wiki/Amigurumi).

Here’s hoping for joy and happiness in the New Year for all of us; God bless and keep you and your family safe and well in 2009!

More on Change

2008-12-09T13:50:00.000-08:00

For anyone who has a conservative Christian background, you probably know of Francis Schaffer and his son Frank. Well, Frank has taken a pro-Obama stance despite his pro-life background, making the argument that Obama is better for the pro-life movement than the Republican pandering of the last 30 years, since he seeks to change the failed systems that tend to encourage abortion. I'm inclined to agree with him!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/frank-schaeffer/frank-as-a-former-pro-lif_b_119435.html

My Resolution for This Christmas

2008-11-24T18:40:00.000-08:00

Not just water, but there's groups like Heifer International, and Samaritan's Purse, which allow you to buy farm animals like baby chicks, ducks, goats, etc. that will be given to poor families in Third World countries.

Instead of buying a generic gift basket for your wealthy relative, do something like that, or

help dig a well in Africa
help stock a fishpond for a starving community
provide an education for a kid in Iraq

If you're as sick as I am of the pointless gifts we give each year, then at least give something potentially life-saving to someone else. You'll get a card saying "a donation has been made in your name..." that you can wrap up and give them. And if that doesn't touch your heart at all, look at it this way; it'll make you Look Good. Selfless. Green. And you're safe from simmering resentment, because no-one is allowed to be ungrateful for a gift like this without looking like a total ass.

Most of the charities I linked here are Christian organizations, but there are plenty of others like Heifer that are secular-based. Imagine giving a Trio of Rabbits, or a Flock of Chicks - how fun is that?!

hahahaha!

2008-11-17T10:32:00.001-08:00

This is my idea of e-cards!

Generic Electoral Blog Posting

2008-11-12T09:47:00.000-08:00

So very, very glad... I got weepy several times once they announced Obama had won. I was watching The Daily Show Indecision 2008 when it was announced, which is appropriate, since they have had the educating of me politically for the last 8 years. And this is something I take pride in, because comedians, as a rule, are most interested in making people laugh by pointing out the ridiculous and the inane as opposed to a liberal or conservative agenda (save Al Franken and Brad Stine). So they are equal-opportunity offenders.

As a result, they have helped me THINK. When week after week you see video clips of the current administration making statements, and then the top-notch researchers of The Daily Show pull out a hilarious older clip of them saying the exact opposite, eventually you do get the point! After the hundredth author/historian/journalist interview where they give specific instances of blatant disregard for the rule of law and moral decency, it's hard to let your opposition to abortion be the ONLY thing that would bring you to vote for a conservative candidate.

So I was watching Indecision 2008 with Stewart and Colbert commentating amusingly, and then there was one of those rare moments where they forget they're playing a role and they respond emotionally (the first show after 9/11 was one such time). This time, after Jon Stewart said that Barack Obama was now the 44th President of the US, and the audience burst into cheers, he and Stephen Colbert took almost a minute to compose themselves. They fiddled with desk props and pens and a laptop, trying not to weep for joy. This, of course, made me cry too.

I got the feeling that for these 2 guys, who had spent 8 years revealing every single disappointing move on the part of the Bush Government, this was a relief beyond what most of us feel. I think they may know better than most what appalling abuse of democratic power has been in sway for almost a decade. Sure, they're both liberals and would want a Democratic candidate to win, no doubt. But Jon's respect for McCain (and apparent disappointment over seeing him choose the Rovian path to nasty campaigning) and the fact that he prefers to think of himself as a Centrist, while Stephen is a strong Catholic Christian, famed for having taught Sunday School, makes them more moderate and thoughtful than the typical liberal newsman.

They are, after all, comedians. And comedians look for the truth, because that is where you find the Funny. That they have become well-informed on current events and political history as a result gives them a credibility greater than Rush Limbaugh or Bill O'Reilly, in my book.

I Love Me a Good Parody

2008-11-12T09:42:00.000-08:00

Early Voter

2008-10-24T09:30:00.000-07:00

So I went to vote a couple of days ago, and was flabbergasted by the line; the parking lot was full, it was 1:30 in the afternoon on a Wednesday, and the line snaked through the Brentwood Library almost to the lobby!

I wasn't alone in my befuddlement; everyone seemed surprised by the 15-20 minute wait. I have always provided for potential distraction with my Palm Pilot which has some nice solitaire games on it, so it was an easy wait for me, but if I had not, I would have just found a book on a shelf and started reading, which I expected other folks to do. But no-one in front or behind me did so, which I thought was rather sad; why not combine a visit to the library with voting!

As we drifted by, I asked the nice information desk lady (she WAS nice; she spoke cheerfully) if the library staff were annoyed by the invasion; she was perfectly fine with it, and said she looked upon it as an opportunity to put up signs about library services to a captive audience - brochures and posters were placed within reach of the line. I asked her if it was always so crowded, and she said that it tended to thin out after 5 pm. But she also said that the day before, they'd had 1,313 voters come through, and that was an average day!

I wonder if anyone will be left to vote on the 4th...

What's interesting is that despite the fact that my electoral responsibilities are done, I am still listening to coverage and candidate statements and developments as though I still have a decision to make! I am DONE, and yet the dang campaign lingers.

It feels like it will never be over... like a Reality TV Show that seeks to give the audience weekly footage from the 4 final contestants. It IS Survivor/Big Brother/Project Runway/America's Next Top Model. Depending on who the editors decide to label as a villain or as the hero that week, we get some of the same jumping through hoops, competitions, and speeches to the audience and their fellow contestants. Sleep-deprived, isolated, pushed to their physical & talent limits, they will never get off the island, they will always have to make one more dress.

This is why I find I just can't get interested in Survivor or the Amazing Race the last few seasons - because every day I am forced to watch reality programming that uses all of the same show elements, but with infinitely higher stakes. And I am FULL. I have consumed enough of it.

What makes it discouraging for me is the knowledge that these voting machines are so easily hacked. I feel like my vote has no real value. I fear the election is going to boil down to which party has better hackers on the payroll.

Nothing Better To Do

2008-10-21T09:18:00.001-07:00

So my friend Anna has dragged me into the Chain Mail equivalent of blogging. But it is rather fun, as can be seen by her bizarre 7 Facts. And I do like talking about myself.

Fact #1: I was in the original cast of the Friends... Forever youth musical produced by Word Records in 1987. My secular friends will not probably know this, but it was, in Youth Group circles, the High School Musical of its day. I also was allowed to add a tidbit of the song Louie, Louie to the script, which ended up costing them more for copyright permission than the actual Michael W. Smith/Amy Grant song the musical was based on.

Fact #2: I was a Japanimation junkie in my teens and 20s. More precisely, I was a fan of anime and manga. This was when there was none available in the bookstores, and only a handful of comic book publishers was translating and reprinting them in flimsy comic book format. I have over 100 videotapes of subtitled and untitled anime series and movies in a box under my bed; not that I will ever watch any of them again, now that I can get good DVD copies, but acquiring copies in the pre-internet days was such a struggle (3rd and 4th generation, grainy copies notwithstanding) that I hate to just toss them out!

Fact #3: I was in a ballet with Rudolf Nureyev when I was 12. PBS was filming 3 Nijinsky ballets starring Nureyev, and one of them was Stravinsky's Petroushka. I played a grimy Russian peasant girl in crowd scenes, along with a number of other Nashville dancers. For some unknown reason, they chose to film it at the Grand Ole Opry (this was before TPAC was built) and the Joffrey Ballet provided the principal dancers. I still have the autographs of Nureyev and the 2 other leads. In addition, I was gently pushed out of the way by Ron Reagan Jr. (a member of the Joffrey company at the time) who was trying to get to his mark for a dance sequence.

By the way, if anyone by some miracle knows of a copy of this production on tape, I would pay good money to get it - I only saw it once.

Fact #4: I am very fond of Sports Movies. I can endure the occasional football game, and like the girlie sports like skating and gymnastics, but otherwise have absolutely no interest in watching sporting events. But sport movies? Love them. I have seen Angels in the Outfield numerous times, along with a bunch of other baseball movies like Little Big League, Major League, Bull Durham, etc. I can get sucked into a sports movie faster than anything else when channel surfing.

Fact #5: I am on my 3rd Dad. My biological father (Al Lynds) died of leukemia when I was 3, and my mom remarried 14 months later (Chuck Houston). He eventually adopted me and my sisters, and they divorced when I was 17. He died 10 years later, and my mom married Tony Morreale, who is proving to be a very nice and supportive dad, even though I am well past the age when I generally need a Dad.

Fact #6: I have 7 nieces and nephews. (This is not a random or remotely weird fact; it is, in fact, the one thing that I am prone to trumpet on any and all occasions. But I am running out of ideas.) 3 Nephews, 4 Nieces, ranging in age from 15 to 5. I am arrogant to the point of annoyance about my Auntly skills, so please do not hesitate to tell me to shut it the next time I start to waffle on about them.

Fact #7: I have a double major in History and Theater. Which is the perfect complement to my career in Computer Support, don't you think?

And now, for my 7 Blogging Friends!
Shellee - http://iamnotasoccermom.wordpress.com/
Rachel - http://martiniministry.wordpress.com/
Mike - http://hakomike.blogspot.com/
Kathryn - http://thenorthnode.wordpress.com/
Darren - http://darrentyler.blogspot.com/
Beth - http://bethlovesbollywood.blogspot.com/
Taryn - http://t-hype.blogspot.com/

Vanilla Bunny

2008-10-09T11:26:00.001-07:00

I find this rather soothing to look at. Maybe you will too.

Societal Collapse Anxiety Syndrome

2008-09-26T10:01:00.000-07:00

I just invented that. Although someone else out there has probably got a better name for it.

I have always tended towards a fascination/dread of what I grew up calling The End Times. Raised as I was in a conservative Christian Fundamentalist household, we were well-versed on the biblical signs of Armegeddon, the rise of the Antichrist, the chances for being Raptured to safety pre, peri, or post-7 Last Years. At 13, I was convinced I would not live to be 20. Eventually the New Age Movement of the 80s with it's rainbows, crystals, and the dire prophecies of Constance Cumbie against said mysticism faded away, and I slowly realized that the world wasn't going to fall apart just yet.

Jump ahead about 15 years, and the Year 2000 is looming, as is my 30th birthday. Apparently decade birthdays are an opportunity for my psyche to go postal. Anyway, doom and gloom and dire warnings of technological failure are all the rage, and I suddenly became convinced that the nationwide power grid could disintegrate, and society would be reduced to absolute anarchy. I was haunted by nightmarish visions of wandering in the wilderness looking for food, shelter and water. Eventually, Elder Brother-in-Law reassured me that he had "done the homework" and the power grid would not fail, and I began to rise up from my fears. January 1, 2000 comes and goes without a blip on the screen.

I should mention that I have been exposed to the occasional apocalyptic movie, either in part, whole, (or detailed spoiler description online), which has done nothing to curb my vivid imagination as regards a dystopian future. Mad Max, nameless B and C-grade futuristic films, the zombie films of the last 4 or 5 years. Enough to help fill in the blanks of what my mind hadn't invented on its own. See, THIS is why I don't watch horror movies!

Now it's 2008, the economy is in the toilet, and it looks like the Fourth Turning has come. We may well be on the brink of a societal upheaval to equal the Great Depression, the French Revolution or the Civil War (or, it might prove to be like the collapse of the Stock Market in 1987 which also passed without a blip on the screen). If it is really a Great Upheaval, it'll probably be a mercifully slow rollout (time to adjust to shortages and financial difficulties). And when they're over, those upheavals can bring forth an amazing and dynamic new generation (Greatest Generation, anyone?)

But I'm still worried, although being unable to focus on what specifically to be worried about does make it hard to be as anxious as I was in 1983 and 1999. Plus I have better coping mechanisms and hopefully, wisdom. But my mind still wends its way along overgrowth paths in the wilderness, or in trying to anticipate what comforts I might have to lose (air conditioning... running water... a steady supply of food... prescriptions... transportation...) and how I might adapt. Notice I'm thinking of the worst - of a societal collapse (although not necessarily as bad as my Y2K and End Times fears). The gas shortages in Nashville these last 2 weeks have been particularly ill-timed and fed that anxiety.

Hardship has a way of strengthening a nation, especially when there is precious metal in our citizenry to be refined. I take encouragement from that thought. Having the arrogance and laziness squeezed out of us by difficulties may be the saving of us.

Why I Plan on Voting For Change

2008-09-23T08:28:00.000-07:00

Note that I did not say I am voting for Obama, or I am voting Democrat. I am voting to clean house.

I have no great confidence in Obama and I actually think McCain is a pretty good guy with strong ability. I have waffled back and forth in my mind for MONTHS about where to bestow my vote. I have, as Brian Unger has put it, suffered from Political Dementia.

I am pro-life, but don't think we can get rid of abortion. Statistically speaking, for decades, our economy has been strongest during Democratic presidencies. I think that we have become a welfare nation, which appalls me. I think that climate change is being affected by mankind and we need to work to turn it around. I'm dismayed that we went to war in Iraq for such shoddy reasons (although I cannot be sorry Saddam Hussein is gone), but don't think we can just leave without potentially disastrous consequences.

See my dilemma? I have no firm adherence to either platform. I have no great confidence in either candidate, or their VPs. I think that our nation is steadily becoming more politically corrupt, and that we will eventually duplicate the decline of the Roman Empire in our complacency and laziness.

So I am looking at the bigger picture from a historical standpoint, and looking over the last 8 years and what the current administration has wrought... I want what's going on to STOP. The Bush administration has shredded their way through the constitution, has done whatever they bloody well pleased, has made political loyalty their benchmark instead of ability, and has been thoroughly immoral while claiming Christ at the same time. Cheney is destined to be vilified in centuries to come as one of the most corrupt and audaciously grasping administrators in the history of this country. I honestly think Bush is oblivious to how he has been played; that Cheney and the Republican leadership have been running this country into the ground and using him as an clueless mouthpiece.

And I voted for them. Twice. I admit this in shame and self-recrimination, and with a determination to never again let myself just go along with the Conservative Christian political line.

But after all that vituperation, let me just reiterate that I have no confidence in the Democratic party either. I just want the current administration to be rooted out, and no matter how much a maverick that McCain-Palin may be, they will have no choice but to have Republican staffers from the current administration in their White House, and that corruption cannot be allowed to continue under any circumstances. All of the staffers who served their candidacy, all of the high-end donors, the party leadership... they will all have to be rewarded and that means positions in government, and a continuation of habits and political machinations that have been in play for 8 years.

So to that end, I am voting against the Republican party. My family and some friends will not be pleased with me, and I hope they can accept that this is simultaneously a difficult and an obvious decision for me. It is not a knee-jerk reaction based on liberal media, or The Daily Show. I have agonized over this for years. This morning when I woke up, it was finally clear to me that the one thing I was certain of was that I didn't want our government to continue down the same path, and that meant a change in administration.

Period.

9/26/08: A really excellent, well-reasoned interview from a Christian author on why he's openly campaigning for Barack Obama - thanks, Allison!

Gas Crisis in Nashville

2008-09-22T19:36:00.000-07:00

I've been very concerned for about a week now with the situation in Nashville of widespread gas shortages... we supposedly have another week of it. This just feeds into my fascination/phobia of societal collapse. I have to drive a LOT for work, so I can go through a tank pretty fast (even in my fuelefficient car, which I so wish was a hybrid...)

This is one of the most brilliant little videos I have ever seen; it's funniest if you actually know the Nashville-Brentwood-Franklin corridor. Perfect!

http://blogs.nashvillescene.com/pitw/2008/09/inside_the_metro_bunker.php

Why Kittens are Therapeutic

2008-09-09T21:03:00.000-07:00

I actually recorded this on my cell phone whilst visiting a litter of foster kittens. All available for adoption in Williamson County, Tennessee; contact me if you're interested.

Why you should pick a fat girl

2008-08-31T11:57:00.000-07:00

Because they actually do stuff.

I was just reading a rather fascinating post about a kind of woman I have never been; the Amazing Girl. The sort of artsy, spiritual, "dance like no one is watching" female that men tend to go all soppy over. I bear them no malice, really; one of my best friends was one, and her un-judgmental, fond appreciation of me was an anodyne after years of minimal friendships. They serve a genuine purpose.

But it made me start thinking about the frustration I have with another large portion of the female gender - the Prettyskinny Woman. I'm not referring just to every woman who is thin and attractive; rather, the smaller percentage who figured out years ago that nothing would ever be required of them, and as a consequence, make no effort to be able to do anything useful.

Here's an example of what I don't mean. I know one thin, beautiful woman that on first glance might be considered a primary candidate for the Prettyskinny label; but she is a public school teacher who helps care for a sibling who is confined to a wheelchair, in an uncomplaining, gracious and calm manner that awes me. I doubt I could be so unflappable in the face of such a commitment.

No, the sort of woman who is a Prettyskinny is like one of the girls who I sing with occasionally - she shows up late, is inattentive, makes no effort to keep her music in order so she can move from song to song in a reasonable manner... and yet has the voice of an angel. She must continually be "brought up to speed" while making no actual effort to do so herself. She is popular and lovely, and as far as I can tell, incapable of practical application.

This is the sort of woman who has always had the admiration of others, and as such, has not needed to develop any practical talents or skills; no, someone else will always take care of it for her. She would like to do something "artistic" with her life, but rarely makes the effort necessary to actually succeed in the arts. She can't really clean, cook, handle tools, scrub, change diapers, lift heavy boxes, or sew. That all sounds like stereotypical domesticity, but really, even in this modern world, you need to know how to do most of those sorts of things to live life. We're not yet in Logan's Run.

I had a Prettyskinny roommate once who drove me up the wall - working on her 3rd BA degree, coming up with a new idea for an easy and yet glamorous occupation every other month or so (travel photography... modelling... acting in an national commercial so she could live off the proceeds for a year... getting into the chorus of an opera company...) and living in a state of such slovenliness that we were continually finding ants in the kitchen. I'm no pristine housekeeper by any means, but you couldn't see the floor of her room.

We butted heads early on, and I realized that we should have parted ways on the day we moved into a larger apartment with a third friend. I had arranged to pay 2 friends to help us move, and as we three carted loads of boxes and stuff out to the truck, she sat on a chair in the living room and watched us. I have never fought with anyone like I did with her. To this day, I believe that our mutual animosity continues unabated, although occasionally I am overcome with remorse for my unchristian behavior and judgmental spirit towards her. I haven't seen her since we all moved out 8 years ago. But for me, she became the prime example for that sort of semi-useless woman.

So let's then look at the other end of the womanly spectrum - the Highly Accomplished Fat Girl. Never worshipped like a Prettyskinny or appreciated (unless she is funny), she has learned a number of skills to make her useful, and hopefully, absolutely necessary. Amazing cooks, seamstresses, babysitters, masseuses, accountants, designers, set builders, teachers, comedians, etc. She has developed every talent, every skill she can so that she will find a place in society. She has to be twice as good just to register as acceptable.

And she has the added bonus of Depth. Years of sorrow and disappointment at being passed over or disregarded has made her stronger, more patient, more self-aware and wise than a regular woman. Particularly when fat from her youth onward, she doesn't mind growing old and losing her looks that much, because she never had the looks to lose. You don't miss what you never had.

So when torn between a slender beauty and a fat woman, after examining their general qualities of personality and skills, if all things are equal... pick the fat girl. She will be a greater benefit in the long run, be it as wife, employee, or friend. She may not inspire you to write poetry, but she will know how to squash spiders on her own without calling for help.

Gifts

2008-08-30T07:58:00.001-07:00

My friend Kathryn Stinson and I have been working on a book for about 6 months now about Gifts and Gift-Giving. We decided that part of the process (and as a way to build up interest) would be to start a blog where we could work out some ideas, and maybe collect stories from people that would help illustrate our points.

I should mention that this is NOT a Martha-Stewart-Real-Simple-Style-how-to sort of book; there will be ideas, but we also want to address the historical, philosophical and psychological aspects of Gifts and the traditions (good and bad) surrounding them. And to be funny whenever we can, as well as incoporating such concepts as Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

So I beg you to please visit the site, and make comments and share your own stories of the best gifts you've ever gotten, as well as the worst. We promise to blog at least twice a week, so please check back! (and scroll down to the bottom so you can read the earlier posts...) http://thebestpresentevah.blogspot.com/

A Fascinating Search

2008-08-15T10:42:00.000-07:00

I think I may be geeking out about economists!

I have been tasked with finding the birthdates of all 112 presidents of the American Economic Association, and it has been hard going. Some were easy - Wikipedia filled in that info on about 50% of them. But some we only had the year, not the date, and others were as though they had never existed.

I have to detail the search I did on just one of them... E. Goldenweiser, president in 1946. No clue on his first name, year of birth, etc. I found several economics-themed sites with the initials E. A., so folded that in... then discovered some with E. Alexandrovich... then one with Emmanuel Alexandrovich, still in economics. I then found a citation from congressional hearings with the Federal Reserve Board that implyed he was an employee, which gave me more background.

I then went on Ancestry.com (using a 2-week free trial) and did a search on the full name. I found a list of various records with variations on his name, and then found this draft card for WWI:

A Statistician for the government. And his birthday. I cannot tell you the THRILL I had when I finally discovered this; a little like finding the Lost Ark of the Covenant. Someone who has not been thought important enough to develop a Wikipedia page for, or to have an online obituary for, and yet here he exists again in the world of 2008, even if only for me around lunchtime on a Friday. I also found his draft card for WWII, where he lists that he is working for the Federal Reserve. I can't find his obituary yet (he died in 1953), but I have found an index online that lists it... just not the actual text!

It took me almost an hour, to find all these little tiny bits of information, and this was my reward. He emigrated from Kiev, Russia, became a naturalized citizen and americanized his middle name to Alexander.

The Honest Truth Can Be Ugly Sometimes

2008-08-12T11:22:00.000-07:00

Or selfish.

I love this article, and I have done many of the suggested techniques in conversation, but not with any conscious awareness of feigning sincerity... but under closer evaluation, yes. I have feigned sincerity. I apologize.

OMG THE CUTEST THING EVER!

2008-08-06T16:35:00.000-07:00

Kitten + Ferrets + Bag = LOL

2008-08-04T16:07:00.000-07:00

Absolutely delightful! You can almost see their little thought processes...

Valuable Lessons Learned

2008-08-02T16:31:00.000-07:00

It is important to be careful when removing the oil cap on your car, as you may drop it into the engine.
Wadded-up paper towels are not a safe or suitable replacement for a missing oil cap.
Wal-Mart does not carry replacement oil caps.
It is ill-advised to go within a mile of Wal-Mart on Tax-Free Weekend in 90+ degree weather.
Artichoke hearts are never where you expect to find them in a grocery store.
A rolled-up sock serves reasonably well as an oil cap in a pinch.
The Toyota dealership Service Department on Hwy. 96 closes at 5 pm on Saturdays.
There is a well-stocked AutoZone located on Columbia Avenue in Franklin.
A replacement oil cap can run around $5.

I have come to deeply appreciate AutoZone. They always end up giving good advice, and helping me make cheap repairs on my own. I literally drive away feeling a palpable sense of Joy: I always learn a new skill or useful piece of information (i.e., one can actually replace their own headlight lamps!), I'm relieved that a pressing repair/replacement has been made, and I feel strong and capable for having managed a car issue on my girly own.

Cars can make me more anxious than almost anything else (except my tendency towards hypochondria); I have actually had a panic attack and passed out at one point when my car was in the shop after a long, incomprehensible period of overheating (and ended up being a massively expensive repair). So to go and take the steps to successfully fix something on my car myself always is a combination of relief and pride.

Killing Time Productively

2008-07-30T11:14:00.000-07:00

I am at the office, and I am hamstrung. There is a Trojan Horse virus on my office computer, I spent 2 hours running a full scan that failed in the end, and I am now about halfway through a full scan in safe mode to try and isolate it there. I am writing this on the spare computer on the other side of my office.

I have read all my daily blogs, visited the various Cute Animal sites I frequent, checked my Facebook for updates innumerable times, and have exhausted all forms of typical time-killing activity.

8 minutes before I can leave.

Ooh, I can check my Vandy mail online! There won't be anything there, but it will kill a few minutes.

Nope, about 70 seconds. *sigh*

Tonight Project Runway and So You Think You Can Dance are on. That'll be nice.

It's my stepdad's birthday today. I wonder what I should get for him? I already have a card...

Ooh, I can rinse out my coffee cup! Back in a mo.

Three minutes left. Are you as bored reading this as I am? Good. Shared suffering, and all that.

I have a client out in West Meade this afternoon. Probably won't take a full hour; I should figure out some productive activities for this afternoon.

One minute. Bye!

Bad Day Calls for a Good Laugh

2008-07-23T08:10:00.000-07:00

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/high_school_tony_awards_honor

What I Won't, and What I Wish

2008-07-21T10:03:00.000-07:00

I cannot remember the last time I so longed to be granted an escape from my current condition. The tasks on my plate right now are so unappealing, but I cannot simply scrape them off into the trash. Everyone around me is taking off for vacation for a week or more, going hither and yon, and I am stuck here in the incubator of Nashville, doing a job that I generally like, but which is made unappetizing by a couple of wonky clients who manage to drain the joy out of my work.

The thing is, I could conceivably drop them... but as usually happens, I'm in the midst of a slowdown in my workload, and I need the income.

I can't stand it when I have no clear-cut idea of what I'm supposed to be doing, but the client is pressuring me to do SOMETHING. Plus, it's not an area of expertise. Sometimes I feel like people come to me because I'm affordable and available, despite my protestations that I don't have enough experience for that particular task. You do NOT want me to try and set up a Windows Server for you, just because I'm cheap! I have a particular skill set and a definite market, and although I'm willing to learn new things, there's generally enough work for me in making house calls to people's homes. So I don't WANT to learn how to configure a server!

You wouldn't want your chiropractor to perform brain surgery on you, would you? No. So why do I feel like I must accept whatever people ask of me, even when I know it's over my head, or that I simply don't like doing it? As I get close to Year Three of my business, I have made some definite decisions:

I don't want to do web design work for individuals anymore. I'll keep maintaining for the clients I currently have, but I simply don't like the development process. It requires me to work on it when I'm at home, and there is nothing I'm more disinclined to do when I'm home than work on websites.
I'm not going to feel bad when I don't have the skills to do something. I know lots and lots of things; there's no reason for me to feel guilty that I'm not a computer guru.
I'm not going to feel guilty when I refuse service. If I'm going to put up with the inconveniences and difficulties of working for myself, then I reserve the right to avoid unpleasant clients. Pervy old men, this means you.
I'm not going to feel guilty when I name the price for the 2 hours of working on a dusty, carelessly maintained desktop, and they stop smiling and talking and quietly write out a check. I named my price on the front end, or they didn't bother to ask, so it's not like I'm cheating anyone. I'm still cheaper than most solutions on the market, and I'm much more compassionate and friendly than the guys at Best Buy.

Some obvious issues there. I don't like hearing that kind of harshness from myself, but right now I'm not particularly happy or joyful, I'm frustrated, and I need a proper vacation.

If I had the money, opportunity and connections, I would go by cruise ship to England, visit my friend Teresa in Glasgow for a week, bounce around on BritRail to Edinburgh, Cardiff, London and Bath. Go see Patrick Stewart and David Tennant in Hamlet at the RSC. Go to Evensong at Westminster Abbey. Take the Circle Line. Walk over the Hungerford Foot Bridge. Go to the Tower and St. Paul's and the school on the edge of Kensington I stayed at one summer and The Orangery for tea.

Beautiful

2008-07-18T08:43:00.001-07:00

I don't know why, but this brought tears to my eyes - make sure you watch the last minute.

Awesomeness

2008-07-15T18:28:00.000-07:00

This made me so happy...

http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/07/duck-darwin-awa.html

Doctoral Dirge

2008-07-08T09:19:00.000-07:00

At what point does perpetual loss and tragedy in a fictional narrative become too much? I ask, because I am in the midst of my seasonal obsession with the latest series of Doctor Who (Series 4, if you're counting) and once again, in a finale that combines the overcoming of a mighty villain with tragic loss on the part of the heroes, I come out of it depressed and discouraged.

I should mention that the finale has not aired here yet, but in fear that I might accidentally stumble over key spoilers on the web, I took it upon myself to temporarily acquire viewing copies (don't ask how, please) so that I might be able to watch spoiler-free for a change (having been too curious to wait with the first 3 seasons). I don't think I'm giving anything away when I say the bad guys are beaten and the universe saved, but at a personal cost. Some of the heroes end up happily, some are lost, and the Doctor is again alone.

The difference this time is that the writer/producer Russell T Davies, who has tweaked this storyline since the series revival in 2005, has made the losses more palpable, and made no effort to alleviate the Doctor's loneliness. And this is ostensibly a CHILDREN'S SHOW. Granted, loads of adults like myself watch with great interest, but it's still marketed and advertised for the youth.

So I can't help but wonder if RTD isn't being self-indulgent - his work is traditionally racy, dark, and undeniably mature (as is illustrated by his adult series Torchwood) and I think he has ended his 4-year run with DW (he's moving on to other projects) with a real downer of an episode. I know he's clearing the deck for the next writer/producer Steven Moffatt (who has done some of the best episodes of the last 4 years, and has a reputation for NOT killing off characters!) but I came out of it feeling undeniably sad.

They've made the series that aired for decades into a considerably more dramatic and weighty vehicle; previous doctors never got particularly emotional, and moral dilemmas never seemed to be all that much of an issue. But that is now the heart of the series, and although I can appreciate the artistry and how easily it can make me cry at times, I wish sometimes they could just let it be Fun and Adventure, and not so much Tragedy. A good cry is great once and a while, but it seems like I've been doing a lot of it this series! And I can't help but wonder what children make of this; if they are made depressed by this recurrence of grief. I'm not one of those people who think kids should only ever hear happy stories and should be shielded from all of life's difficulties, but there's just so much sorrow one can take in an entertainment before it's too much.

There were happy moments; some great comedy, and some lovely resolutions. But I've been feeling melancholy all weekend after a Who Marathon of the last 4 episodes, and that hardly seems like a desirable result for a TV series!

Controversial

2008-06-27T08:29:00.000-07:00

Goodness gracious, I've gotten more readers and comments after my Regional Differences and Eddie Izzard posts than I have in weeks! Why is it that I never noticed that the big blogs are popular precisely because they will court controversy? I don't like it in general; I don't like making people angry, and I don't like the way they get when they are angry.

My brother-in-law has picked up on this tendency of mine over the years; he might be having a battle with Elder Sister in my presence, and I will blend into the furniture, or start chivvying the children to clean up or snap to... and B-I-L will turn to me and say something like "It's ok, you know; no one is in danger just because I'm angry!" Which I know, of course; but when you've learned to deal with an angry father over 13 years of childhood, you try and do whatever you can to alleviate anger, to placate, to pour oil on troubled waters. I will grow very quiet... I will start to tidy up... I will speak in a subdued fashion, to indicate my appreciation of the situation.

I have been fortunate to have friends who will disagree with me, and have spirited arguments over things like religion and politics... it has taken time, but it has allowed me at least some understanding that disagreement and argument do not mean someone will hate or hurt you when the debate is over. But even with all of that, I find myself adapting to the opinions of whomever I am with. I leap to find common ground, to express a sympathy and comprehension of their opinion.

This is why I cannot endure the rants of the Bill O'Reillys, the Ann Coulters and Rush Limbaughs. (I know they have liberal counterparts, but I don't know who any of them are, for some reason.) I might agree with some of their opinions, but their absolute inability to see any good in liberalism troubles me. I wish there was more of an appreciation in this country for the Moderate and the Centrist, and that they could be allowed to have their own voice in the media. I don't think it means that someone is any less compelling, just because they can see both sides of an argument... I mean, wouldn't you want to have that kind of respect in a discussion? Instead of just being lambasted as an idiot?

Still Cute after all these years

2008-06-23T07:39:00.000-07:00

I still check this site several times a day... some things never diminish in quality.

A particularly amusing narrative:
http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/06/aesop-on-an-off.html

Disappointed by Eddie

2008-06-21T08:04:00.000-07:00

I do not like to go out at night, in general. Maybe to a cozy friend's house, or to my family, but most evenings I would much rather stay home, especially when I have been home for an hour or more, and have to get up and go back out. There are exceptions of course, and last night was one of them - I had tickets to see Eddie Izzard live at the Ryman.

I loooooove Eddie Izzard. I have watched or listened to everything he's ever done (stand-up), and seen most of his movies. I think he's brilliant. He's the only comedian I know to have figured out how to combine history so effectively with comedy.

The place was packed; at one point the audience started chanting "Cake or Death"; they obviously knew his material by heart. When he came out, it was the loudest audience response I have ever heard. The poor man could hardly speak for the screams of delight, and got into the habit of regularly shushing us whenever we would cheer for a particular line, just so he could get through his material. He performed without intermission for almost 2 hours straight, which has GOT to be exhausting, and my face got tired from smiling and laughing.

But.

I don't begin to be able to articulate my disappointment in what he obviously thought of us. There's usually some kind of overarching theme throughout one of his shows, and tonight, it appeared to be Why Religion is Stupid, and I'm Here to Straighten You Out. He's touched on his dissatisfaction with the inconsistencies and hypocrisies of organized religion for years now, so it wasn't unfamiliar... but last night, I felt like he was on a mission to disabuse us of our blinkered and illogical devotion to God. It felt like he had tailored his show specifically to this Bible-Belt audience to correct us in our irrational habits. Every 5 minutes or so, he'd take a step back and make a little disclaimer about how there WERE things he admired about religion, like the sense of community and whatnot... but then he'd jump right back into mocking various stories in the Bible, the proliferation of gods throughout world history, the fact that some don't believe in evolution, etc. It felt like he took every single stereotype of Southern Christian culture as true across the board, and riffed on how foolish it was off and on for 2 hours.

I am NOT hypersensitive to this in general. I am used to it in almost every form of entertainment media I can think of, and I often agree. But I paid $59 for a ticket to have a good time laughing, and I came out of there feeling a little depressed, as thought I'd been gently scolded for more than an hour. Even my friend A. M. who went with me, and who generally shares his same opinions on religion and Middle American (and particularly Southern) culture said that she felt "patronized," as though he had come on a mission to try and fix us. I don't mind stand-up shows that use comedy to teach certain principles, such as Rob Becker's Defending the Caveman... but Eddie doesn't do that in general, so to have him try and correct what he thinks is wrong with American culture in his show here in the Bible Belt really made me feel disappointed, and for the first time in a long time, defensive.

I don't generally feel offended by that sort of thing; when it's addressed to an audience in San Francisco, and I watch it on a TV screen, it's not directed at me. But this WAS directed at me, and as I think of the supportive, genuine people at my church who help take care of each other so well, of the kind-hearted, generous, open-hearted relatives I have in Georgia who would do anything for a stranger, I was hurt. Because Eddie obviously thought they - we - were foolish and misguided.

AND YET, he was a little bit hypocritical himself, last night... despite gently mocking the religious culture we live in, he dressed down for the occasion - he wore jeans, boots, and cutaway coat - and barely any makeup. I have NEVER seen him wear jeans in one of his shows; he doesn't wear dresses, but he'll wear really gorgeous silks and brocades in beautifully cut suits, loads of makeup, nail polish, etc. But last night, he dressed for a Nashville audience. Perhaps it was meant as a sign of respect for what he perceives as a more conservative crowd, but I suspected that it was more of a "don't scare the crackers" choice.

The ridiculous thing is that, for the most part, he was preaching to the choir last night! The audience was made up of the most liberal-minded elements of Nashville society, with a huge majority agreeing with pretty much every word out of his mouth. So it was a wasted effort - I would venture to guess that 75% or more of that crowd would be voting Democrat this November anyway.

Regional Differences

2008-06-20T10:33:00.001-07:00

I don't know if it's possible to write about this without sounding judgmental. We'll see.

Bearing in mind the differences in population (urban vs. suburban) and urgency (dire vs. steady increase), it's hard not to make comparisons between the devastation of Hurricane Katrina (ie: New Orleans) and the flooding along the Mississipi (ie: Iowa).

Similarities:

lots of water
destruction of personal property
breaking levees
typical for area - it's happened before

Now let's think about how people responded. New Orleans was one long series of "Who's responsible," with local, state, federal government, FEMA, and the population all getting a portion of blame. Iowa seems to be more about "How can I help preserve my city?" I know, they have more time to fill sandbags; their flooding has been a slow and steady increase, while Katrina was a matter of only a few days warning, right? But if you look at it from the perspective of what we can see in media coverage both then and now, New Orleans was all about what the government was supposed to do to fix the problem, while Iowa is all about what the local residents are doing to try and save themselves.

I do see that getting millions out of the path of a devastating hurricane with not enough time is a vast deal more difficult than what's been going on along the Mississippi, and it's not something that could have been stopped with sandbags. But I never seem to hear anyone in news stories talking about how the government has failed the Midwest in this flood season; it's just lots and lots of v-roll of hundreds and hundreds of people filling sandbags, trying to keep their own levees from breaking.

Is the difference that people in urban areas are more dependant upon the government, while the more scattered populations of the midwest are more self-reliant? Yeah, I think so.

I'm sure everyone can think of their own set of rational excuses to be made for New Orleans and the Gulf Coast and how it responded in the face of natural disaster. But the bitterness and blame of Katrina is curiously absent from the Midwest, who have lost as much, and will continue to lose more for some time to come.

What I Learned This Pre-Summer

2008-06-07T21:22:00.000-07:00

A lake house is nice, except when it's in the 90s and the AC is broken.
AC filters need to be changed periodically so that the AC can keep working.
There is such a thing as a 24-hour emergency HVAC repair service.
Just because you and your friends say over and over that the AC WILL be fixed, it doesn't necessarily produce the desired result.
It is possible to sleep in an oppressively hot house, as long as you have a fan and a damp towel to drape over your legs and forehead, and you dose up on Benadryl.
My car loves to kick off its hubcaps.
There is always something useful to be learned in trying situations.
I have more endurance and adaptability than I thought.
It's not always a good idea to force through a vacation trip, because sometimes God doesn't mean for you to go.
Even in the midst of trying situations, there are treasures such as fine regional cheeses, and excellent country meat-and-three restaurants to be found.
Just because a store advertises itself as an Amish market does not mean that you will actually find any Amish people there, nor that they will necessarily have any locally produced Amish products.
There is a time and place for makeup, and a lake house with no AC is not one of them.
It is possible to fit more activities into a 29 hour trip than initially thought possible.
Giving up and going home early because you're melting from the heat is not weak; it is sensible.

How I love the internet!

2008-05-31T21:29:00.000-07:00

Do you remember how you always gave up on trains of thought when you were younger, because finding the source of something you remembered was well nigh impossible?

Lying in bed, trying to go to sleep, this little snippet of what I THINK was Herb Albert and the TJB won't go away, then I vaguely remember the little Muppet sketch of over 20 years ago I associate with it... gosh, that was pretty funny...

5-10 minutes of google searching, refining search terms, and YouTube later, I present Java:

OK, That's done - back to bed! I have nursery duty in the morning...

Good Lord and Butter, Has it Been That Long?!

2008-05-20T20:13:00.000-07:00

Has it been almost a month since I last posted?! Shame on me! But I must excuse myself on the basis that since May 1st I have been Official Typist to Shane and Anna Caudill, on a trip to pick up their new son Thien Yo (called YoYo) in China. Google Blogs are apparently inaccessible there, and so they have had to resort to emailing updates to me, which I would format and post along with pictures. They have lived through some high drama, let me tell you! They were not untouched by the earthquake, although mercifully far enough away to escape harm. And YoYo is a special needs child with catheters and a colostomy bag, although he seems to be blissfully unaware of any need for caution!

They are due to return this weekend, but now that it is so close, I am terrified that something will occur to hold them back, or deny them YoYo, who has bonded with them as much as a 3-year-old child possibly could in 3 weeks. So many little bits of paper and permissions and natural disasters and birth defects with medical issues and national pride... It is no easy thing to go through. I think they must long to be left entirely alone upon their return for a week or so, just to sleep and eat and recover from the massive rollercoaster of emotion they have been on for the last 8 months... so many near misses, so many failures of communication, and the heavy weight of 14 years of trying to have a child of their own.

Shane and Anna are the kind of couple that never met a stranger where children are concerned. They are the sort of people who should have an enormous family, but instead have had to unconsciously settle for being the best adult friend of every child in their circle of acquaintances. No one can playplayplay better than they. The amount of preparation they went through before going is unimaginable; taking medical supplies, clothing, preparing for certain nutritional needs, learning how to install catheters and colostomy bags... all the sorts of skills they would have learned slowly over time with a new baby, is thrust upon them in one fell swoop in the form of a very active 3 year old.

I have cheerfully demanded to adopt YoYo as an aunt; I'm not going to be having my own children, in all likelihood, and so here is a child who will have adoptive aunts and uncles and grandparents, but there's no reason why he can't squeeze in one stray spinster aunt whose own niblings are growing up and away.

Settling Back to Normal...

2008-04-27T20:59:00.000-07:00

Everything is finally tidying up, but it feels like this April has been the longest month in a very, very long time. I've been working many 10-12 hour days (for those of you who do so on a regular basis, shut up. It's a lot for me, and that's all that concerns me at present!), taking on extra web work for Booksamillion.com but taking care of my regular clients at the same time. I've just returned from a 4-day visit to Dear Friend and Baby Pudgekin in Denver. The Landerses have just brought their sweet Baby Maggie home after a very tense time involving surgery and the PICU. And the Caudills have been cleared to go get their little Yo-Yo in China after years of runarounds and metaphorical bureaucratic plane crashes.

I resume the 10-12 hour days tomorrow for another few weeks, and although I am grateful for the work and the income to follow, I am pining for some Beach Time for a week or more in the near future. Just sitting on the beach, reading and napping in the shade of that really awesome portable cabana I saw in SkyMall.

A Very Long Wait

2008-04-26T10:46:00.001-07:00

Some of you have heard me speak of Shane and Anna Caudill, an amazing couple that has been working their way through the China adoption maze for a few years now. They chose to seek out a "special needs" adoption, and their hearts led them to Tien Yo, a little boy with cloacal exstrophy, the most severe birth defect compatible with human life. He was rescued by nuns when he was 5 days old, and last July, he traveled to the US for life-saving surgery at Johns Hopkins.

The adoption process has been, to put it mildly, difficult. And miracle child that he is, Yo-Yo will always need special medical care and treatment. But Shane and Anna have been longing for a child for 14 years now, and on April 30th they are finally flying to China to pick up their new son, and to learn how to take care of his medical needs.

Anna has been writing a blog about the frustrations and exhilarations she and Shane have been experiencing since they started the adoption process a while back, and now that they have been given final approval, she is letting the public read it. And to my chagrin, she refuses to ask for assistance, but they still need about $5000 for travel expenses. Fortunately, I am shameless enough to ask FOR them.

"Waiting Child" (http://flossiemae.blogspot.com/) Please take a look! I'd recommend going back to the very first post, and reading backwards from there. There is a Paypal link for donations on the right menu.

Shamelessly Stealing from Garrison Keillor

2008-04-22T13:34:00.000-07:00

I don't care what some people think about Keillor, I adore his writing. And some of the attributes below do not seem like any Episcopalians I know, but maybe it's because I'm from the South, and jello is no longer popular. But several of these things are spot-on, especially the comments on singing. Apparently my instinct for singing a third above or below the melody means I was born to be Episcopalian, despite my essentially fundamentalist upbringing!

(Adapted from an essay by Garrison Keillor; I suspect it has been added to by persons unknown...)

We make fun of Episcopalians for their blandness, their excessive calm, their fear of giving offense, their lack of speed and also for their secret fondness for macaroni and cheese. But nobody sings like them. If you were to ask an audience in Des Moines, a relatively Episcopalianless place, to sing along on the chorus of "Michael Row the Boat Ashore," they will look daggers at you as if you had asked them to strip to their underwear. But if you do this among Episcopalians, they'd smile and row that boat ashore and up on the beach! ... And down the road!

Many Episcopalians are bred from childhood to sing in four-part harmony, a talent that comes from sitting on the lap of someone singing alto or tenor or bass and hearing the harmonic intervals by putting your little head against that person's rib cage. It's natural for Episcopalians to sing in harmony. We are too modest to be soloists, too worldly to sing in unison. When you're singing in the key of C and you slide into the A7th and D7th chords, all two hundred of you, it's an emotionally fulfilling moment. By our joining in harmony, we somehow promise that we will not forsake each other.

I do believe this, people: Episcopalians, who love to sing in four-part harmony are the sort of people you could call up when you're in deep distress. If you are dying, they will comfort you. If you are lonely, they'll talk to you. And if you are hungry, they'll give you tuna salad!

Episcopalians believe in prayer, but would practically die if asked to pray out loud.

Episcopalians like to sing, except when confronted with a new hymn or a hymn with more than four stanzas.

Episcopalians believe their rectors will visit them in the hospital, even if they don't notify them that they are there.

Episcopalians usually follow the official liturgy and will feel it is their way of suffering for their sins.

Episcopalians believe in miracles and even expect miracles, especially during their stewardship visitation programs or when passing the plate.

Episcopalians feel that applauding for their children's choirs will not make the kids too proud and conceited.

Episcopalians think that the Bible forbids them from crossing the aisle while passing the peace.

Episcopalians drink coffee as if it were the Third Sacrament.

Episcopalians feel guilty for not staying to clean up after their own wedding reception in the Fellowship Hall.

Episcopalians are willing to pay up to one dollar for a meal at church.

Episcopalians still serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color of the season and

Episcopalians believe that it is OK to poke fun at themselves and never take themselves too seriously.

And finally, you know you are a Episcopalian when:

It's 100 degrees, with 90% humidity, and you still have coffee after the service.

You hear something really funny during the sermon and smile as loudly as you can.

Donuts are a line item in the church budget, just like coffee.

When you watch a Star Wars movie and they say, "May the Force be with you," and you respond, "and also with you."

And lastly, it takes ten minutes to say good-bye . . .

Where on earth is THIS?

2008-04-20T20:16:00.000-07:00

Stepdad Tony took this picture in the 60s while travelling through Europe, and has no memory of the location. He suspects it may be Alsace-Lorraine, but has no idea.

Anyone recognize it? Would welcome any comments...

Positively Electrifying

2008-04-17T18:19:00.000-07:00

I have a theory.

As I have been working with people and their computers for over 10 years now, I have had a small but memorable percentage of users who cannot get a computer to work for them consistently for love or money. Christa, Valerie, Dana, Denise, Alexa and Eric know what I mean.

It's the most bizarre thing... you could give each person a new computer every six months, and somehow each person's system will slow down to a crawl, have the most un-reproducible errors, have bugs that disappear when I sit down at their computer, with no discernable pattern. Except that it is, simply, THEIR computer.

I would say it's about 1 in 20 people who have this kind of random, inexplicable dysfunction. It's not a dislike for the technology - in fact, some of them have been my most ardent users. But Technology seems most reluctant to serve them!

Since we are not yet to that stage of technological development where we can interface with computers by any but the most direct means - pushing buttons - I have racked my brain to figure out what sets these unfortunates apart. It's not like they ooze a substance that jams the machinery! My theory is that it has to do with their magnetic field.

Each living being generates a low-level magnetic field. And I have not enough science to know if it is in any way related to the body's ability to build up an electrostatic charge of as much as 20,000 volts. We've all had days where every bit of metal we touch shocks us; well, it makes sense that we could be releasing energy through keyboards into computers, in such immeasurably small amounts that no significant damage is done, but it's enough to make things (in my favorite scientific term,) wonky.

We're still in the first generation of widespread computer technology, and 100 years from now, it will probably be possible to measure such tendencies, as organic bodies continue to increase their interface with the inorganic.

But I want it established that I thought of it FIRST. :)

I need a purpose like this!

2008-04-12T18:22:00.000-07:00

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/04/10/heroes.vaughn/index.html

Moral Outrage

2008-04-11T16:45:00.000-07:00

How does an essentially lazy person filled with righteous indignation at the state of American government (on the verge of, if not immersed in, tyranny) do something about it? Those annoying low-level politicians who would come and speak to your government or civics classes would always tell you to run for office - that you can't complain if you're not willing to make an effort to change it yourself.

But even though I'm lazy, I'm also brutally self-aware, and I will tell you this: there's no way in hell I will ever be elected to public office. I'm overweight (therefore unattractive), I frequently say awkward, embarrassing or uncomfortable things, I'm blunt, and I'm a frequent introvert. I drive to the middle of the road and stay there, only to be swayed slightly off to the right or left based on the comments of the last intelligent person to talk to me.

This does not make for an effective politician. I think I would do far better as a member of royalty, put in place without benefit of election. My talents would be an advantage, and my failings would merely be an inconvenience. If I was only moderately good at my job, everyone would proclaim me a paragon and be relieved that I wasn't some perverted egomaniac and sadistic despot.

I've been watching the John Adams miniseries on HBO, and I tell you what, it really does open your eyes to the downward decline of the American experiment. We're the next Roman Empire, Eddie Izzard says, and he's not far wrong. It scares me to see how very, very close we are getting to the period of the Caesars in our political development - how many ordinary people even know that Rome was once a Republic? All anyone remembers is the Emperors and their excesses.

More later. Must go babysit.

Old but still funny...

2008-04-09T09:24:00.000-07:00

Well, I must have seen this a half-dozen times over the years, but it still makes me laugh, so enjoy!

Airline cabin announcements

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

1. On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"

2. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.

4. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"

5. "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

6. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

7. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

9. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

10. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

11. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

12. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

13. And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

14. Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."

15. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

16. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

17. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the officer. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

18. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."

19. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways."

20. Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."

Hide from Reality

2008-04-07T10:24:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have that feeling that you'd just like to cancel everything and go home and stay in bed for a week? But then it's immediately followed by the knowledge that none of those things would actually be going anywhere, would still need to be done eventually, and you'd probably lie in bed and obsess about all of it?

What makes it worse is the knowledge that over 75% of it could be fixed by money. They say that money doesn't bring happiness, but not having it can really stress you out, and I don't find that particularly happy.

Too much work, too many commitments, demanding clients, health anxieties and no insurance, too many bills, no savings, taxes... I can't think of anything that would fix any of this more simply than money. And I hate that such a thing is possible.

Keith in Comedy

2008-03-25T19:41:00.000-07:00

This is my friend Keith Alberstadt, who is working his way up through the comedy world of NYC. He does appear down here in the South sometimes, so catch him if you get the chance!

I always thought of myself as a Lady

2008-03-20T18:48:00.001-07:00

Check out my Dark Ages profile!

Litany of Ailments

2008-03-18T08:28:00.000-07:00

So... historically, when I am stricken with melancholy, my body responds with a rainbow array of twinges, distresses, and pain. This, of course, adds to my anxiety, since I am a hypochondriac to a certain extent. But I have always been either scared of doctors (not so much at present) or uninsured (at present), and so I am forced to worry in private since I cannot prove that all the ailments are false. Over the years, when a physical distress fails to add to my anxiety, it is replaced by a new one. Intestinal distress switches to lower back pain (kidney cancer!), twinges in my right side (appendicitis! ovarian cancer!) now manifest as a lump in my throat. Tennis elbow, tendonitis in my left shoulder with odd pain radiating down into my chest, and a "how'd that get there?" pain in the ball of my right foot - all suggest suitably disastrous and terrifying ailments or conditions.

None of them are legitimate - they disappear when I am happy or relaxed. I take a weekly dance class, galloping around for over an hour, and although winded due to my exceedingly poor physical fitness, nothing hurts the entire time. But they appear like clockwork each morning to give me something to mentally chew on, spit up, examine, and then chew again, like some cow who want to know what their cud looks like.

I wish I had a friend who was a doctor, who could give me a quick once-over when these physical anxieties crop up; someone who could say with all authority "nope, that's nothing, it'll go away on its own." Maybe if these pains were denounced early on, I might be able to crawl back out of melancholy sooner.

On the other hand, the most profound growth in my life usually happens around this time. These thorns in my flesh usually scare me into self-examination (Where am I with God? Where am I going with my life? Do I need to work on something?) and I am always better for it in the long run. Over 20 years of an assortment of ailments that never lead to anything... but personal growth.

Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills

2008-03-15T16:16:00.000-07:00

This is a really important article, I think - I've been worrying more and more about modern kids, and how regulated and scheduled their lives are; well, it is starting to appear that certain cognitive and executive function is being stunted as a result.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=19212514

Your own childhood was better than you think!

I want to do this tooooooo!

2008-03-13T19:43:00.000-07:00

http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2008-03-11-knitting-tree_N.htm?csp=34

Tidbit du Jour

2008-03-12T08:09:00.000-07:00

This is quite entertaining... I like it so much better without Garfield!

http://garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com

Squeeeeeeee!

2008-03-06T17:21:00.000-08:00

I LOVE this website. Check it everyday... it's a happy place.

Delightful Whimsy!

2008-03-05T09:14:00.000-08:00

Redneck Condo

2008-02-28T17:48:00.000-08:00

OK, this was recently forwarded to me with the derogatory caption of "redneck condo"... but I love it! If you look at the details, you can see why it's actually very artistic and well-designed:

1) landscaping

2) color choices

3) arrangement of levels

Can't you imagine how fun this would be as a beach or lakeside vacation home?

Computing in Starbucks

2008-02-28T08:38:00.000-08:00

God bless smart, funny people. Be prepared to laugh your head off!

Many thanks to nephew Elliott, and Craig Hansen for spreading the joy.

Are You Smarter than a THIRD Grader?

2008-02-26T08:22:00.000-08:00

Wow. Truly spectacular ignorance. This should make anyone feel REAAAAAALY smart.