I
woke up in a considerably different state of mind. As the
day as progressed, the shock has been wearing off, and the
pain and grief has been setting in. When you're single, I
really think that your job is something akin to a spouse.
Carrying the analogy a bit further, losing your job can be
like being divorced or widowed. The tears have been flowing
off and on, and the vast, yawning gulf of "what do I
do now?" is before me. I think that perhaps I'm meant
to do something else now instead of computer support, but
what that might be is unknown to me. I like my stable existence,
and am happiest when I have a routine to follow. But now I
feel adrift, abandoned, with no solid ground in sight.
This
might be one of those life-changing seasons I go through periodically,
where God (who loves me too well to leave me as I am) starts
making changes on my behalf. I can recognize the ultimate
advantages and rewards, but it's pretty painful during the
process. I feel a little panicky about what Monday will be
like, without my routine to cling to; common sense and my
Dad say I should start the job search immediately that morning.
Part of me rebels at the idea, because I would like to have
at least one whole month without working, just to see what
it's like. But I also know that I don't do terribly well when
I'm idle and have nothing but ME time. Yeah, I need it, but
not for days on end!
I
am fortunate that I am well-enough provided for that I don't
have to snatch the first job that comes along; but I think
I will feel much better if I can find something suitable and
get settled in. In the meantime, I am available for some computer
consulting and whatever part-time jobs that might come along.
No comments:
Post a Comment