Thursday, October 04, 2007

Top Chef

Don't know if you've been watching it, but this is a scene I envision taking place about 2/3rds of the way through the competition with the winning cheftestant, Hung:

(please excuse the profanity; reality programming isn't pretty, folks)
Producer 1: Dude. You are acting like a douchebag. Makes for great drama...
Producer 2: ... yeah, the delusional thing makes for awesome TV!
Producer 1: ...but now you've got to pretend to have a heart and soul.
Producer 2: Do you have anything we can cry about? Any childhood traumas? A dying relative?
Producer 1: Because - and I mean this - you're pretty much the obvious choice since Tre got booted.
Producer 2: Stupid man. He was golden, and he threw it all away with one crappy dish.
Producer 1: Can you pretend to find the competitions "fun"? Because people like that shit.
Producer 2. Oh yeah. You can be an absolute prick but if you're funny...
Producer 1: Dale...
Producer 2: ...and you dance around occasionally and punch your fists in the air when you win something...
Producer 1: ...cause, obviously, the humility thing is out of the question at this point!
Producer 2: ...oh yeah. Insulting the cowboys made that an impossibility...
Producer 1: ...then we MIGHT be able to spin this so that people don't burn down the studio when you win.
Producer 2: You wanna win, right?

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