Another year has been survived, and I am glad the weather has cooled off and the holidays are half-done. Looking back over the past 11 months, I cannot think of anything particular that I can drape as a blanket description over 2023. People have come and gone (I'm still ticked off, Beth!), travel has been.... travelled, and I have watched much television and done much crafting.
I guess the biggest unavoidable story is that my mom has stage 4 pancreatic cancer. As I write this letter, she has had two rounds of chemo with the hope that it will buy her some more time, even though we know it is no actual cure; pancreatic cancer + stage 4 = you're done. I'm really proud of her calm attitude towards the whole thing (the cancer is also in her liver). The outpouring of support and concern for her has been amazing, to say the least; from phone calls to delivered meals to unexpected yard work from neighbors, fellow parishioners, and friends. She is feeling grateful and at this stage, reasonably comfortable. The diagnosis came in the first week of October, and the average lifespan is 2-4 months without chemo. So me and my sisters (who are all fortunately here in Nashville) are trying to pack in all of the conversations and tie up all of the loose ends.
As some readers may know, my father died from leukemia when I was three, so I think I have always considered that THAT was the one and only big medical illness that would affect our family; sort of like a law of averages. When I ran into a deer with my car when I was 30, I referred to it as having hit MY deer – I think you only ever hit one deer in a lifetime. So having both parents with extreme cancer is the kind of thing that makes me go "so why couldn't I win the lottery instead of this?"
In August, me and my mom and sisters went to Quebec for almost a week to celebrate her 80th birthday, and had a really great experience. We had no clue this was on the horizon, but looking back she was having some aches and symptoms that were almost certainly related to the cancer. But there were beautiful cities and scenery and meals, and we all really liked Quebec. The six months I spent daily on Duolingo trying to refresh my French in preparation was almost completely worthless, as I could never come up with the right sentences as quickly as needed, and it really wasn't necessary 99% of the time. I recommend both Quebec City and Montreal if you like walking up VERY STEEP hills.
This past January I returned to my yearly work convention (this time in New Orleans) for the first time since covid started in 2020; for two years we did virtual meetings, which meant around 95% of what I typically do to prepare was unnecessary. So last December was stressful, as I added back all of my previous tasks and some new ones as well. My nieces Emma and Ginny got to come work with us this year for the first time, and I must say, I love having the opportunity to spend this much quality time with them as young adults. They are joining us again in January for our meeting in San Antonio, which makes me very happy!
Hobby Updates I resumed singing in my church choir this year after being very erratic about it for the last few years. You really can get burned out on almost anything you like, wouldn't you say? So I needed some time away before I could return with any enthusiasm. For a while there I was afraid I had really lost a lot of my upper vocal range, and would only be good for weakly singing with the bass section. I had even gone so far as to look up doctors at the Voice Clinic here at Vanderbilt. Then one day a few weeks ago I realized I was able to sing almost back in my normal range, so that was a relief! Apparently covid has caused some loss of vocal range for many singers.
As many of you know I am a knitter/crocheter/embroiderer, and have been since my childhood. Back in September I discovered Beading as a craft, and am completely enamored with it. I'm pretty much just making stars with beads at the moment (LOTS of Christmas ornaments), but the way you zip and weave the beads together is very satisfying, and I highly recommend it for a therapeutic exercise, and very suitable for people with OCD since it has to all fit together perfectly to work. The name of the kind of bead-weaving I am doing is called Peyote, which cracks me up. It looks like a fabric woven from beads.
I am still obsessively watching Chinese television dramas. I've discovered that the good ones can be rather hard to find, and so I have re-watched a half-dozen or so of the best ones multiple times while I dig frantically for worthwhile series, and wait for new shows to be aired; apparently 2023 has been a bad year for good Cdrama. If you spend any time around me, you know that I am apt to bring the topic of Chinese culture and societal norms into almost any conversation, but I usually preface it with an apology before rambling off on the subject.
I have started reading translations of some of the novels these series are based upon, and found a strange new world... they are mostly what are called web novels, which means they were self-published online in Dickensian-style installments, and once they gain a large readership or any significant popularity, they might be optioned and made into a series. One of the tropes that is apparently SUPER popular is spontaneous time-travel from the present to the ancient past, wherein the traveler is stuffed into the body of someone (often quite younger) who has just died, and gets to carry with them all of their modern knowledge and confidence, and merge it with the original memories of the person whose life they have taken over. However, the censorship for television in China is pretty strict, and for some reason they have decided in recent years that historical dramas with fantasy elements like this as a plot point are “not good” for China, so the time traveler aspect of these stories is usually removed altogether, so the hero/heroine is just extremely smart/talented. They LOVE to send back doctors, engineers, scientists, or anyone with a skill set that would give them a significant advantage when introduced into a pre-modern society. It's a strange and fascinating world. If you want to sit and listen to me go on about the differences in cultural morality, I will be happy to oblige you! While I recognize that popular TV shows are not necessarily an accurate portrayal of a society's moral code, it is hard to avoid seeing their attachment to portraying certain habits.
There are a lot of series that are basically Chinese mythology combined with fairy tales, and not just for kids. But bear in mind that their mythology has reincarnation built in, which is a convenient way to fix problems or stretch out a story. Immortality, magic pills and medicines, and martial arts are juxtaposed with high school bullying techniques. My word, they love to bully people in these stories! Very much a "might makes right" world.
Recommendations from 2023:
A Dream of Splendor (Chinese drama, available on Amazon Prime). This one actually came out last year, but I didn't want to put two Chinese shows in last year's letter! This show is one of the best in terms of story, script, acting, themes, etc. It's more realistic and subtle, and I believe more historically accurate. It's the story of a woman named Zhao Pan'er and two of her friends, who struggle as single women to live a good life in a society that resists women trying to do business or be self-sufficient. It's very satisfying; they are all smart and talented, and there's a happy ending and a good love story. It's visually beautiful, and the costumes are a treat to look at. This is NOT a simple watch; there are subtitles, all the names seem the same, and there's a learning curve to understand how that world works. But if you've enjoyed watching Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings, then you'll be fine; it's just a different world than ours.
The Boys by Ron and Clint Howard. This autobiography by the Howard brothers (one famous, one less so) is unique in the history of Hollywood biographies, in that these two kids grew up in show business in a healthy, balanced home. Their parents were simply amazing; as good actors themselves that never really made it, they did bit parts when they could, and the rest of the time managed their sons' careers. They raised their children to be excellent human beings, and apart from some addiction issues for Clint, their lives have turned out well, with little of the tragedy and traumas of other child stars.
CROWD-PLEASER by Maria Bamford (comedy album). I've recommended her albums before; on this one she talks about mental health, 12 step programs, cults, and her family. I think she's hysterical, and can really hit the nail on the head, especially when she talks about being brought up in the church. Youtube link
I'd say that's plenty long enough, wouldn't you? I hope you are having a lovely holiday season, with just enough ordinariness that life doesn't feel like you have to eat chocolate for every meal. A party atmosphere every day is EXHAUSTING!
Love,
Susan
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