The most annoying phrase in the world is...

Follow your dreams.

How am I supposed to follow my dreams if I have no idea what they are?

Really - I'm not kidding. My dreams all tend to be rather vaccuous things, like

• losing weight
• getting married
• having a country house
  
• being a celebrity in some unknown field with a minimum of effort

Nothing I can really get worked up about. Nothing I want so bad that I'm actually willing to do the work to achieve them.

This is why I love lost comedian Mitch Hedburg: "I'm sick of following my dreams... I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later."