Tuesday, December 04, 2007


My birthday was yesterday. I cannot speed away from it fast enough, frankly. It was a cliche-ridden day, with every single predictable emotional response to turning 39 that you could imagine:
  • I don't FEEL old.
  • My biological clock is running down.
  • I don't think I look old.
  • I haven't done anything worthwhile with my life.
  • I'm going to die alone and be found a week later, half-eaten by an alsatian.

Lordy, are those boring or what?!

I have never understood or sympathized with women who hide their age or birthdays. But in the last few years, I am finally hating birthdays too. When I was younger, it was Happy Cake & Presents Time, but now, I don't like cake as much as pie or cookies, and the presents, although nice and thoughtful, are rarely things I really want or need. I know, that sounds dreadfully ungrateful. But I live in a 745 SF apartment, and it is FULL.

I still feel that there's no point in concealing my age; the truth is the truth, and I'm very bad at pretending about myself... but I no longer enjoy the anniversary. December 3rd of 2008 will be a very, very bad day, and I am preparing to go into therapy and amplified medication. Let the cliches begin!


Kathryn said...

Granted, you are talking to a person who fasted on a mountain for 4 days for my 30th birthday, so I may not be a paragon of sanity, but I would like to briefly challenge a couple of the statements you made:

1) You have accomplished a great deal with your life. But people with tremendous intelligence and enormous potential are somewhat cursed to feel unsatisfied since their energy can rarely match theit intelligence, capability and resources.

2) I doubt it will be an alsatian.

Susania said...

1) You are giving me more credit for accomplishments than I deserve; my innate laziness (I'm an Enneagram of 9, for heaven's sake!) makes me far more likely to sit on my couch and watch TV while I do cross-stitch, than sit at my computer and work on the Gift book!

2) Tru dat. It will probably be a pomeranian (as close to a cat as a dog can get) or several cats.

Mike Howell said...

I'll race you to 40. I win.

I don't even know what an alsatian is, and I refuse to look it up.

I agree about "stuff." This year all my Christmas presents given will be consumables that have *zero* permanent storage requirements.

Susania said...

You know, I never even realized we were the same age until I saw your facebook page!

An alsatian is a dog breed

This is how I make my birthday pay for Christmas - I return/exchange all gifts I don't need and buy presents at the same store with the credit, or I re-gift.