Recurring Dream, part 2

So last night I had my new nightmare - two times is a coincidence, three times is a pattern.

I loathe horror films. Don't ever, ever want to see one. Don't understand how anyone can get any enjoyment from them AT ALL. Don't understand how there can even be a market. And don't even get me started on the latest trend of Torture Porn that passes for horror nowadays.

But on occasion, if the trailer looks interesting, I will sometimes go on TheMovieSpoiler.com and read the storyline just to see how it ends. I made the mistake of reading the breakdown for Dawn of the Dead a few years ago when it came out, and have been haunted ever since. Now, my nightmares consist of zombies and people trying to escape from them, and my family is involved. It's exhausting, because there's no safety to be found anywhere. It's my old fear of societal breakdown/Armegeddon, kicked up a notch. Endless running, trying to rescue family members, trying to find a safe place...

I woke up with this in my mind at 4 am, and could not banish it, even with prayer, or trying to focus on more pleasant things. I finally took some GABA Complex [side note: amazing little amino acid that will let you go back to sleep when your mind won't stop spinning! no side effects] and dropped back off to sleep, but this morning a residual anxiety and melacholy still lingers. My daily Kitties and Bunnies aren't doing the trick either, so I thought I'd write this out.

So, if your dreams are a reflection of your inner conflicts, then what does this say about me?

Wierd Dream

Ok, from formerly regular dreams of "I-dreamt-I-was-pregnant-with-no-memory-of-the-father-and-had-to-give-the-baby-up-for-adoption," I have now moved on to bizarre wedding dreams.

I dreamt that I was getting married; but I had been so busy running my business and unrelated errands, that it's now 24 hours til the wedding and I haven't made any arrangements or plans - no dress, no reception space, the church has double-booked and now we're not sure where we'll have the ceremony, no reception or cake. Nor, apparently, am I in any way acquainted with the groom... he's nowhere around at this point, I don't know his name, but apparently I've decided to marry this unknown man.

I do have bridesmaids, though - I come upon them on the day of the wedding, frantic, because I have no dress, and one of them (Rachel, dressed in a purple satin dress which I would NEVER select for her or any other woman!) laughs and says "It's ok, it's over there - that red thing!" Apparently I asked her to get my dress for me, and she chose red. Which isn't entirely bad, since it IS a flattering color for me.

But I never get to see it because I am just rushing frantically everywhere; not accomplishing anything, but in each place and situation, discovering there is yet another thing that I haven't done. "How did I not do any of this stuff?" I keep thinking. And no sign of the groom. For a moment my dream goes lucid and I think "why don't I cancel the whole thing?" but the Dream Me keeps going about, panicking, fixing nothing. It's just a big old disaster.

I think I am always alone like this in these dream scenarios... I am at these big life-events like marriage or childbirth, and I am sans mate. Not that I am ever bothered by this in the dreams - it seems perfectly normal. But what is that saying about me?