A Crisis of Faith

Boy, this is a doozy.

I have been listening to Sarah Vowell's The Wordy Shipmates audiobook this week for the second time (I adore her writing, and have listened to/read all of her books several times), and it is hitting me much harder than it did the first time through. While not as entertaining as her other historical treatise Assassination Vacation, it is so packed with interesting little historical tales that it is still good the second time through.

It is all about the founding of the Massachusetts Bay
colony; John Winthrop and his utopian "Shining City on a Hill," Roger Williams and Anne Hutchenson, the native Americans... and lots and lots of appallingly UNCHRISTIAN behavior. Vowell is an atheist, despite a religious upbringing that mirrors my own in many ways, but she does not despise religion to the point where she condemns all of it; I think she is reasonably fair-handed in her descriptions of the more egregious abuses of those who came to America for religious freedom.

However.

It has kicked up a whirlwind in me about how horrible we Christians can and have been throughout history. A truly honest appraisal of the history of our faith is so galling in what it reveals in our contradictions to the love of Christ, that it cannot help but make you wonder how we can possibly make any claim for the morality of our religion. How can we possibly expect anyone to hear a sermon about what Christ did for us, and how they should join our faith, with our track record over the last 2 centuries?

I still have faith in Christ; I'm not questioning my belief in him... but how can we say we're really following him with things like the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, the wars of the Protestant Reformation, and the near genocide of the native Americans in the name of founding a Christian nation? How can we get SO MUCH wrong, if we think we're doing God's will? I can explain the violence of their methods a little bit by remembering how incredibly brutal daily life was through the 1800s... when brutal methods are practiced by everyone as a matter of law, government, and general social life, it tends to seep over into the subconscious. In our human weakness, I can sortof understand why they would think a suitable punishment for contrary religious beliefs would be to slice off the offenders' ears and banish them from the area.

But we're supposed to be above that! And for a society so newly enraptured and soaked in scripture, (since translated Bibles had only been actually available to the general population for a few decades) you would think that directions from Jesus like the Sermon on the Mount would be the new set of rules for daily living... instead, it was a constant barrage of Calvinist fear and trembling and "you must behave like this or you're damned."

With every disillusioning chapter of this book, I find myself searching desperately for a rock to hold on to, and with all of the falsities and sins of Christian history being burned away in my mind, the only thing to remain is Christ and the Bible. I cannot make amends for the sins of our Christian forebears, nor can I end the modern church's ugly battles over homosexuality and abortion. The only thing I can do is try and saturate myself in the 2 commandments that Jesus said were the most important: Love the Lord your God with all your mind, heart and soul; and Love your neighbors as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. If I'm doing my part by sticking to those 2 tenets, then I'm doing what God asks.

Related Vicissitude:
In a more practical sense, the Christian charity that would result if all Christians automatically behaved as dictated by these 2 tenets, would have VERY interesting political ramifications. I'm so continually disgusted by the Conservative Right's 24-7 rants about the efforts of Obama's administration to ameliorate some of the more devastating effects of our current economic crisis--because I'm always thinking now, "If we Christians were doing what Christ told us to do, then our government wouldn't need to create such legislation." Taking care of the poor and the sick and the helpless is part of Christ's mandate for us; but we're not really making much of an effort. So the government is having to do it. Attacking them for actually making an effort to help the pitiful (despite the probable freeloaders who will take advantage of the system, and the inevitable, ill-conceived methods of relief that might make things worse) is a nasty, mean-spirited thing for Christians to do. Make such legislation unnecessary by your charity.

Aaaaand here I am telling other Christians how to behave. It didn't take me any time at all to start judging, did it?! *sigh*

Lengthy Absence

I do apologize excessively for my extended absence from this blog; it's been an exceedingly busy 6 months, and only now has it wound down enough to have the leisure to go a-blogging. Let's see, what noteworthy comments have I to make...

• I sang backup in the cover band "Banana Bread" with friends Rebecca and Monique at the end of March for my friend Rachel's 30th birthday (she sang lead). It was quite fun, although with the schedule I've been enduring lately, it made my attitude less than agreeable at times!
• I went to the beach for the first time in 4 years a couple of weeks ago. I pretty much was running at top speed until the night we arrived, at which point I had an anxiety attack at the sudden and unexpected drop in my stress levels. Obviously, I need to make sure that I kick back and relax more regularly in future!
• I joined a Chamber Singers group at my church last fall, and we are having a big concert on Sunday May 31st. You should come!
• Facebook is marvelous. The high school reunion I REALLY longed for, that of my Choir group the SophistiCats, is now an almost quarterly event, as we are getting together periodically for dinners. We could NEVER have made such wide-ranging connections without the help of Facebook! Our director, Bobby Jean Frost, is the sort of teacher who changes lives, and it was amazing to have her come to our last dinner and find out what she's been doing since retirement.
• Work is steadily increasing... not to the extent of being full-time, but enough to keep the bills paid in conjunction with my part-time job at the AEA. It'll be 4 years come August!
  

A Good One!

thanks to failblog.org!

Historical Comedy

My latest obsession: historical comedy; namely, the cartoons of Kate Beaton. Go visit her site, especially if you have a historical or literary bent (or have ever watched Black Adder obsessively). You might not get all of the references, but go nonetheless. In the example below, we have a Victoria and Albert scenario...

Epic Auto Saga

Aren't I doing a better job of posting consistently lately?

I feel like I need to start this off like a Bard, "...and this is the way of it..." (Stephen R. Lawhead holla!). My Toyota Corolla has been burning up oil in the exhaust for a few years now, and it has gotten so bad that I have to top up the oil TWICE between oil changes... basically, every 1000 miles. It's been looked at by 2 exceptional mechanics, whose attempts at repair have been fruitless, because it needed major surgery to fix - leaky valve covers was the proposed problem, which would necessitate taking out the engine, which would necessitate $1000 or more.

When the engine light went on for the 3rd time in the last twelvemonth, I said ENOUGH. I was not going to replace another O2 sensor and catalytic converter. I had never been happy with the car, which I bought from Carmax when my beloved 98 Civic Hatchback was dying. EVERYONE said, "oh, a Toyota's as good as a Honda!" so I believed them. I have just discovered that, in fact, the 2001 Corolla was MADE BY GM. Yes, THAT GM. I have been driving a GEO PRISM for 5 years now. It's the same car under the hood.

So, my dislike was entirely justified. It wasn't helped by the fact that red cars are statistically more likely to be pulled over for speeding (as I can attest to) and it kept getting hit or dinged (twice by my sister). Just dismal. So I decided that it mattered not that it wasn't paid off; I would sell it and hope to break even, and go get myself another Civic so this wouldn't happen again.

I got a broker - very kind man named Marvin Nischan, who found a buyer for my Corolla, then went to work looking for a Honda that met my very basic requirements (price, any color but red or yellow, under 70K miles, AC and automatic). He and I both knew that it would be hard to find, as Hondas are in high demand in pre-owned sales. He found my dream car... but it was residing in the Hell known as Crest Honda, and they wouldn't deal with brokers. So he gave up any commission he might make, told me about it, and I went into battle. It was worth it - white car (the color I wanted!) dark gray interior (the color I wanted! doesn't show dirt) 2004 Civic, with only 18,900 miles on it, and a really low price.

I will not detail all of the frustrations and road blocks that arose for the 48+ hours I struggled to win this car... I will mention that although I was treated respectfully and politely by all staff at the dealership, they would attempt to get me to finance the car at a ludicrous interest rate (12.99%) by not letting me know the rate until I'd signed all the other paperwork. "Well, THAT will have to change!" I said when I finally spotted it, "I know I only paid half that on my last car!" The financial director claimed that "things had changed" in the last 4 years which explained the higher rates, but that he would try to improve it.

I took the car to my mechanic to give it a once-over, and called everyone I could think of who was knowledgeable about car sales to tell me what the going rate on car loans was... I finally got my bank on the phone and discovered their lowest rate was 4.9%, so I went back to Crest to (politely) give them the chance to cut their rate in half. Nope, 8% and no lower. So, off to the bank!

I waited over an hour and a half to see a bank officer to apply. By now, I was tired, frustrated, and not really sure I wanted that car anymore, but I would just think about how dreamy the car was; white, 19K miles, low price and a Civic!, and I would decide to struggle on. The loan officer was SO nice - overworked, but nice and patient and willing to help in any way she could. God bless Joan Watkins at US Bank!

More paperwork and proof of income would be required. More fuss and bother and delay. Staying away from Crest helped. When finally Joan said I needed this past year's tax return to prove my income (I'm nowhere near to having that done!) she suggested that to not lose the car, I might go ahead and accept the higher interest rate at the dealership, and then refinance in the next few weeks after my taxes were done. As I prepared to go back and do just that, my mom stepped in and gave me an alternative arrangement; she'd pay upfront, and I'd finance it later. That way there was no chance of any penalties or additional costs.

So I got my car. I'm debating whether or not it was an answer to prayer, or whether or not I tried to force it to become an answer to prayer. I do know it was prayed for, and that it was precisely what I wanted, and did not think I could actually get!

Why am I reciting all of this in a blog posting? Several reasons: 1) to put out there that Crest Honda should be approached with real caution, (and cash, if you're buying); 2) that some Corollas are lemons; and 3) that a car to a single woman is as important as a child, and almost as emotionally draining. I am exHAUSTED. I will be driving this car into the ground (or 10 years, at least) because I do not want to have to go through this again anytime soon!

Brilliant Children, and the Old Maids Who Love Them...

Long-time readers of this blog have heard often about my friends Shane and Anna, and their newish son YoYo. In every conversation with Anna, she tells me yet another amazing remark that YoYo made this week. I am convinced he will be either the next Einstein, DaVinci, or some equally important titan of human history. For a three year old who's only really learned English in the last 9 months, he has an insightfulness and a clarity of thought astonishing in a kid who can't read yet.

He's also hysterically funny at times. To set up today's example; I will occasionally call or visit the Caudills, but by no means am I a constant visitor. I do have Auntie privileges (I am referred to as Aunt Susan) but in general I see them once a week at most. Despite the lack of regular interaction, I think YoYo likes the idea of me (while not disinterested in me, he doesn't feel the need to stick by me when there are toys at hand - he is a focused Playa), enough so that he will speak of me even when I am absent, although I can't imagine why.

Anyway, Shane just sent me this:

So Anna was talking to her mom on the phone, and Yoyo didn't want to talk to Nana... so he comes out of his room on his toy phone saying, "oh, yes aunt Susan. what aunt Susan? would you like to talk to my little boy, aunt Susan?" and hands me the phone. "It's aunt Susan, she wants to talk to you."

I laughed so hard I cried. He just keeps coming out with these bizzare little diamonds of comedy and observation.

Here's another sample of his unexpectedness:


There's nothing like a little boy from China bouncing around to T-Bone Burnett!

The Plague in Middle Tennessee

Since early January 2009, I have been fighting against a tide of malware, viruses, trojans, rogue agents, and shyster software unlike anything I've dealt with in the last 2 years. It's been great for business, but it's no fun for anyone to have to deal with. So here's some preventative measures you can take - even if your system is clean at present, having the tools in place will be handy if you do get infected)-. It will take probably an hour or two, but might take longer if it's really deeply rooted.

1) If you are needing an antivirus software (if you don't already have one, or a Norton/McAfee subscription is running out) then AVG Free is the best solution - it's free, and works better than either of those 2 major softwares! You can easily get it at download.com.

2) The quickest way to run a scan and clean up your system is to download and install Malwarebytes' Anti-Malware, also available at download.com. It's the simplest, fastest and most thorough software I have found for this purpose, and I have used it constantly since "the Plague" descended in January.

3) Also consider getting the latest version of Ad-Aware from download.com. It takes a while to download, install, and update, but it can sometimes find problems that MAM and AVG miss.

Between these three tools (all of them are free) you can be 95% certain you've cleaned up any nasties on your computer. MAM and AA can both be installed safely, since they are anti-Malware, and don't have any conflicts with each other, but make sure you have removed any pre-existing antivirus software before installing AVG (you can only have one AV software at a time!)

Bear in mind that if you have some of the more virulent and malicious softwares on your computer, it will probably fight letting you download, install and scan with these tools. You may need to download the software to a flash drive on another computer, then install it on the infected computer. Sometimes you can't even do this, and the only solution is to take out the hard drive and hook it up to another computer and run the scan from there - that way it's essentially powerless to resist. I can do this if necessary.

That's a lot to throw at you, but it's the approach I've been taking for some years now, and it generally works. You can contact me if you get stuck, or if you don't want to hassle with it! :)

Middle-Aged Child

I was struck this morning by a particular dilemma that I will probably be struggling under for the rest of my life; that of being an immature adult. I live the life of an adult - I work, live alone, drive myself places, I spend my time with other adults, I do responsible and mature things - but I feel so terribly childish and inexperienced at odd times. I don't know anything about REAL self-sacrifice; the kind that only comes with marriage or children. And as such, I feel retarded in my maturation process.

I still call guys "dude" - and I'm a middle-aged woman! I just spent an evening practicing music with a cover band, all of whom are younger than me, and was telling them all about the new Demetri Martin TV show. It's not that I'm trying to stay young; but I can't stop doing certain childish things. At the same time, my favorite activities include needlework while I watch PBS history series. I delight in toys from Doctor Who, and I like dispensing advice to new mothers. I collect pictures of kittens and bunnies, and I crochet afghans.

At some point, I was supposed to put away childish things, and yet because I'm single, it's never really happened. At what point do I gracefully transition into being a middle-aged woman, when I have no children, no house, and no husband? I'm not complaining - I like my independence and the freedom to come and go as I please, and am glad to avoid the frustrations and sacrifices of marriage... and St. Paul recommended the single life for people who had the gift for it. But without those experiences that go along with family life, how do I ever catch up with my peers?

There are worse things - I am well and generally content. But somehow, I feel like an Excessively Late Bloomer.

Christmas Card 2008

This was the Christmas card sent out by my family in 1970. In the interests of recycling, I think it makes a perfectly adequate Christmas card for 2008, don’t you?

Plus I’m WAAAAY cuter in this picture than I am now. (I'm the one standing.)

Dear Friends and Family,

I’m not doing my usual Christmas letter where I give you far more information than you probably want on my hobbies and employment; in a nutshell, I am busy, healthy, and reasonably satisfied with my life. Despite the current economic crisis, I am unaccountably hopeful for the future, and looking forward to 2009.

I turned 40 this month, and as I turn this corner, it is the last time I plan on openly announcing my age. As I venture onward into Old Maidenhood, I plan on living a productive & engaged existence and keeping the number of cats I own to a reasonable number. I will probably continue to have a new hobby every year or so (For 2008 it’s amigurumi—wikipedia.org/wiki/Amigurumi).

Here’s hoping for joy and happiness in the New Year for all of us; God bless and keep you and your family safe and well in 2009!

More on Change

For anyone who has a conservative Christian background, you probably know of Francis Schaffer and his son Frank. Well, Frank has taken a pro-Obama stance despite his pro-life background, making the argument that Obama is better for the pro-life movement than the Republican pandering of the last 30 years, since he seeks to change the failed systems that tend to encourage abortion. I'm inclined to agree with him!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/frank-schaeffer/frank-as-a-former-pro-lif_b_119435.html

My Resolution for This Christmas

Not just water, but there's groups like Heifer International, and Samaritan's Purse, which allow you to buy farm animals like baby chicks, ducks, goats, etc. that will be given to poor families in Third World countries.

Instead of buying a generic gift basket for your wealthy relative, do something like that, or

• help dig a well in Africa
• help stock a fishpond for a starving community
  
• provide an education for a kid in Iraq

If you're as sick as I am of the pointless gifts we give each year, then at least give something potentially life-saving to someone else. You'll get a card saying "a donation has been made in your name..." that you can wrap up and give them. And if that doesn't touch your heart at all, look at it this way; it'll make you Look Good. Selfless. Green. And you're safe from simmering resentment, because no-one is allowed to be ungrateful for a gift like this without looking like a total ass.

Most of the charities I linked here are Christian organizations, but there are plenty of others like Heifer that are secular-based. Imagine giving a Trio of Rabbits, or a Flock of Chicks - how fun is that?!

hahahaha!

This is my idea of e-cards!

Generic Electoral Blog Posting

So very, very glad... I got weepy several times once they announced Obama had won. I was watching The Daily Show Indecision 2008 when it was announced, which is appropriate, since they have had the educating of me politically for the last 8 years. And this is something I take pride in, because comedians, as a rule, are most interested in making people laugh by pointing out the ridiculous and the inane as opposed to a liberal or conservative agenda (save Al Franken and Brad Stine). So they are equal-opportunity offenders.

As a result, they have helped me THINK. When week after week you see video clips of the current administration making statements, and then the top-notch researchers of The Daily Show pull out a hilarious older clip of them saying the exact opposite, eventually you do get the point! After the hundredth author/historian/journalist interview where they give specific instances of blatant disregard for the rule of law and moral decency, it's hard to let your opposition to abortion be the ONLY thing that would bring you to vote for a conservative candidate.

So I was watching Indecision 2008 with Stewart and Colbert commentating amusingly, and then there was one of those rare moments where they forget they're playing a role and they respond emotionally (the first show after 9/11 was one such time). This time, after Jon Stewart said that Barack Obama was now the 44th President of the US, and the audience burst into cheers, he and Stephen Colbert took almost a minute to compose themselves. They fiddled with desk props and pens and a laptop, trying not to weep for joy. This, of course, made me cry too.


I got the feeling that for these 2 guys, who had spent 8 years revealing every single disappointing move on the part of the Bush Government, this was a relief beyond what most of us feel. I think they may know better than most what appalling abuse of democratic power has been in sway for almost a decade. Sure, they're both liberals and would want a Democratic candidate to win, no doubt. But Jon's respect for McCain (and apparent disappointment over seeing him choose the Rovian path to nasty campaigning) and the fact that he prefers to think of himself as a Centrist, while Stephen is a strong Catholic Christian, famed for having taught Sunday School, makes them more moderate and thoughtful than the typical liberal newsman.

They are, after all, comedians. And comedians look for the truth, because that is where you find the Funny. That they have become well-informed on current events and political history as a result gives them a credibility greater than Rush Limbaugh or Bill O'Reilly, in my book.

I Love Me a Good Parody

Early Voter

So I went to vote a couple of days ago, and was flabbergasted by the line; the parking lot was full, it was 1:30 in the afternoon on a Wednesday, and the line snaked through the Brentwood Library almost to the lobby!

I wasn't alone in my befuddlement; everyone seemed surprised by the 15-20 minute wait. I have always provided for potential distraction with my Palm Pilot which has some nice solitaire games on it, so it was an easy wait for me, but if I had not, I would have just found a book on a shelf and started reading, which I expected other folks to do. But no-one in front or behind me did so, which I thought was rather sad; why not combine a visit to the library with voting!

As we drifted by, I asked the nice information desk lady (she WAS nice; she spoke cheerfully) if the library staff were annoyed by the invasion; she was perfectly fine with it, and said she looked upon it as an opportunity to put up signs about library services to a captive audience - brochures and posters were placed within reach of the line. I asked her if it was always so crowded, and she said that it tended to thin out after 5 pm. But she also said that the day before, they'd had 1,313 voters come through, and that was an average day!

I wonder if anyone will be left to vote on the 4th...

What's interesting is that despite the fact that my electoral responsibilities are done, I am still listening to coverage and candidate statements and developments as though I still have a decision to make! I am DONE, and yet the dang campaign lingers.

It feels like it will never be over... like a Reality TV Show that seeks to give the audience weekly footage from the 4 final contestants. It IS Survivor/Big Brother/Project Runway/America's Next Top Model. Depending on who the editors decide to label as a villain or as the hero that week, we get some of the same jumping through hoops, competitions, and speeches to the audience and their fellow contestants. Sleep-deprived, isolated, pushed to their physical & talent limits, they will never get off the island, they will always have to make one more dress.

This is why I find I just can't get interested in Survivor or the Amazing Race the last few seasons - because every day I am forced to watch reality programming that uses all of the same show elements, but with infinitely higher stakes. And I am FULL. I have consumed enough of it.

What makes it discouraging for me is the knowledge that these voting machines are so easily hacked. I feel like my vote has no real value. I fear the election is going to boil down to which party has better hackers on the payroll.

Nothing Better To Do

So my friend Anna has dragged me into the Chain Mail equivalent of blogging. But it is rather fun, as can be seen by her bizarre 7 Facts. And I do like talking about myself.

Fact #1: I was in the original cast of the Friends... Forever youth musical produced by Word Records in 1987. My secular friends will not probably know this, but it was, in Youth Group circles, the High School Musical of its day. I also was allowed to add a tidbit of the song Louie, Louie to the script, which ended up costing them more for copyright permission than the actual Michael W. Smith/Amy Grant song the musical was based on.

Fact #2: I was a Japanimation junkie in my teens and 20s. More precisely, I was a fan of anime and manga. This was when there was none available in the bookstores, and only a handful of comic book publishers was translating and reprinting them in flimsy comic book format. I have over 100 videotapes of subtitled and untitled anime series and movies in a box under my bed; not that I will ever watch any of them again, now that I can get good DVD copies, but acquiring copies in the pre-internet days was such a struggle (3rd and 4th generation, grainy copies notwithstanding) that I hate to just toss them out!

Fact #3: I was in a ballet with Rudolf Nureyev when I was 12. PBS was filming 3 Nijinsky ballets starring Nureyev, and one of them was Stravinsky's Petroushka. I played a grimy Russian peasant girl in crowd scenes, along with a number of other Nashville dancers. For some unknown reason, they chose to film it at the Grand Ole Opry (this was before TPAC was built) and the Joffrey Ballet provided the principal dancers. I still have the autographs of Nureyev and the 2 other leads. In addition, I was gently pushed out of the way by Ron Reagan Jr. (a member of the Joffrey company at the time) who was trying to get to his mark for a dance sequence.

By the way, if anyone by some miracle knows of a copy of this production on tape, I would pay good money to get it - I only saw it once.

Fact #4: I am very fond of Sports Movies. I can endure the occasional football game, and like the girlie sports like skating and gymnastics, but otherwise have absolutely no interest in watching sporting events. But sport movies? Love them. I have seen Angels in the Outfield numerous times, along with a bunch of other baseball movies like Little Big League, Major League, Bull Durham, etc. I can get sucked into a sports movie faster than anything else when channel surfing.

Fact #5: I am on my 3rd Dad. My biological father (Al Lynds) died of leukemia when I was 3, and my mom remarried 14 months later (Chuck Houston). He eventually adopted me and my sisters, and they divorced when I was 17. He died 10 years later, and my mom married Tony Morreale, who is proving to be a very nice and supportive dad, even though I am well past the age when I generally need a Dad.

Fact #6: I have 7 nieces and nephews. (This is not a random or remotely weird fact; it is, in fact, the one thing that I am prone to trumpet on any and all occasions. But I am running out of ideas.) 3 Nephews, 4 Nieces, ranging in age from 15 to 5. I am arrogant to the point of annoyance about my Auntly skills, so please do not hesitate to tell me to shut it the next time I start to waffle on about them.

Fact #7: I have a double major in History and Theater. Which is the perfect complement to my career in Computer Support, don't you think?

And now, for my 7 Blogging Friends!
Shellee - http://iamnotasoccermom.wordpress.com/
Rachel - http://martiniministry.wordpress.com/
Mike - http://hakomike.blogspot.com/
Kathryn - http://thenorthnode.wordpress.com/
Darren - http://darrentyler.blogspot.com/
Beth - http://bethlovesbollywood.blogspot.com/
Taryn - http://t-hype.blogspot.com/

Vanilla Bunny

I find this rather soothing to look at. Maybe you will too.

Societal Collapse Anxiety Syndrome

I just invented that. Although someone else out there has probably got a better name for it.

I have always tended towards a fascination/dread of what I grew up calling The End Times. Raised as I was in a conservative Christian Fundamentalist household, we were well-versed on the biblical signs of Armegeddon, the rise of the Antichrist, the chances for being Raptured to safety pre, peri, or post-7 Last Years. At 13, I was convinced I would not live to be 20. Eventually the New Age Movement of the 80s with it's rainbows, crystals, and the dire prophecies of Constance Cumbie against said mysticism faded away, and I slowly realized that the world wasn't going to fall apart just yet.

Jump ahead about 15 years, and the Year 2000 is looming, as is my 30th birthday. Apparently decade birthdays are an opportunity for my psyche to go postal. Anyway, doom and gloom and dire warnings of technological failure are all the rage, and I suddenly became convinced that the nationwide power grid could disintegrate, and society would be reduced to absolute anarchy. I was haunted by nightmarish visions of wandering in the wilderness looking for food, shelter and water. Eventually, Elder Brother-in-Law reassured me that he had "done the homework" and the power grid would not fail, and I began to rise up from my fears. January 1, 2000 comes and goes without a blip on the screen.

I should mention that I have been exposed to the occasional apocalyptic movie, either in part, whole, (or detailed spoiler description online), which has done nothing to curb my vivid imagination as regards a dystopian future. Mad Max, nameless B and C-grade futuristic films, the zombie films of the last 4 or 5 years. Enough to help fill in the blanks of what my mind hadn't invented on its own. See, THIS is why I don't watch horror movies!

Now it's 2008, the economy is in the toilet, and it looks like the Fourth Turning has come. We may well be on the brink of a societal upheaval to equal the Great Depression, the French Revolution or the Civil War (or, it might prove to be like the collapse of the Stock Market in 1987 which also passed without a blip on the screen). If it is really a Great Upheaval, it'll probably be a mercifully slow rollout (time to adjust to shortages and financial difficulties). And when they're over, those upheavals can bring forth an amazing and dynamic new generation (Greatest Generation, anyone?)

But I'm still worried, although being unable to focus on what specifically to be worried about does make it hard to be as anxious as I was in 1983 and 1999. Plus I have better coping mechanisms and hopefully, wisdom. But my mind still wends its way along overgrowth paths in the wilderness, or in trying to anticipate what comforts I might have to lose (air conditioning... running water... a steady supply of food... prescriptions... transportation...) and how I might adapt. Notice I'm thinking of the worst - of a societal collapse (although not necessarily as bad as my Y2K and End Times fears). The gas shortages in Nashville these last 2 weeks have been particularly ill-timed and fed that anxiety.

Hardship has a way of strengthening a nation, especially when there is precious metal in our citizenry to be refined. I take encouragement from that thought. Having the arrogance and laziness squeezed out of us by difficulties may be the saving of us.

Why I Plan on Voting For Change

Note that I did not say I am voting for Obama, or I am voting Democrat. I am voting to clean house.

I have no great confidence in Obama and I actually think McCain is a pretty good guy with strong ability. I have waffled back and forth in my mind for MONTHS about where to bestow my vote. I have, as Brian Unger has put it, suffered from Political Dementia.

I am pro-life, but don't think we can get rid of abortion. Statistically speaking, for decades, our economy has been strongest during Democratic presidencies. I think that we have become a welfare nation, which appalls me. I think that climate change is being affected by mankind and we need to work to turn it around. I'm dismayed that we went to war in Iraq for such shoddy reasons (although I cannot be sorry Saddam Hussein is gone), but don't think we can just leave without potentially disastrous consequences.

See my dilemma? I have no firm adherence to either platform. I have no great confidence in either candidate, or their VPs. I think that our nation is steadily becoming more politically corrupt, and that we will eventually duplicate the decline of the Roman Empire in our complacency and laziness.

So I am looking at the bigger picture from a historical standpoint, and looking over the last 8 years and what the current administration has wrought... I want what's going on to STOP. The Bush administration has shredded their way through the constitution, has done whatever they bloody well pleased, has made political loyalty their benchmark instead of ability, and has been thoroughly immoral while claiming Christ at the same time. Cheney is destined to be vilified in centuries to come as one of the most corrupt and audaciously grasping administrators in the history of this country. I honestly think Bush is oblivious to how he has been played; that Cheney and the Republican leadership have been running this country into the ground and using him as an clueless mouthpiece.

And I voted for them. Twice. I admit this in shame and self-recrimination, and with a determination to never again let myself just go along with the Conservative Christian political line.

But after all that vituperation, let me just reiterate that I have no confidence in the Democratic party either. I just want the current administration to be rooted out, and no matter how much a maverick that McCain-Palin may be, they will have no choice but to have Republican staffers from the current administration in their White House, and that corruption cannot be allowed to continue under any circumstances. All of the staffers who served their candidacy, all of the high-end donors, the party leadership... they will all have to be rewarded and that means positions in government, and a continuation of habits and political machinations that have been in play for 8 years.

So to that end, I am voting against the Republican party. My family and some friends will not be pleased with me, and I hope they can accept that this is simultaneously a difficult and an obvious decision for me. It is not a knee-jerk reaction based on liberal media, or The Daily Show. I have agonized over this for years. This morning when I woke up, it was finally clear to me that the one thing I was certain of was that I didn't want our government to continue down the same path, and that meant a change in administration.

Period.

9/26/08: A really excellent, well-reasoned interview from a Christian author on why he's openly campaigning for Barack Obama - thanks, Allison!

Gas Crisis in Nashville

I've been very concerned for about a week now with the situation in Nashville of widespread gas shortages... we supposedly have another week of it. This just feeds into my fascination/phobia of societal collapse. I have to drive a LOT for work, so I can go through a tank pretty fast (even in my fuelefficient car, which I so wish was a hybrid...)

This is one of the most brilliant little videos I have ever seen; it's funniest if you actually know the Nashville-Brentwood-Franklin corridor. Perfect!

http://blogs.nashvillescene.com/pitw/2008/09/inside_the_metro_bunker.php

Why Kittens are Therapeutic

I actually recorded this on my cell phone whilst visiting a litter of foster kittens. All available for adoption in Williamson County, Tennessee; contact me if you're interested.

Why you should pick a fat girl

Because they actually do stuff.

I was just reading a rather fascinating post about a kind of woman I have never been; the Amazing Girl. The sort of artsy, spiritual, "dance like no one is watching" female that men tend to go all soppy over. I bear them no malice, really; one of my best friends was one, and her un-judgmental, fond appreciation of me was an anodyne after years of minimal friendships. They serve a genuine purpose.

But it made me start thinking about the frustration I have with another large portion of the female gender - the Prettyskinny Woman. I'm not referring just to every woman who is thin and attractive; rather, the smaller percentage who figured out years ago that nothing would ever be required of them, and as a consequence, make no effort to be able to do anything useful.

Here's an example of what I don't mean. I know one thin, beautiful woman that on first glance might be considered a primary candidate for the Prettyskinny label; but she is a public school teacher who helps care for a sibling who is confined to a wheelchair, in an uncomplaining, gracious and calm manner that awes me. I doubt I could be so unflappable in the face of such a commitment.

No, the sort of woman who is a Prettyskinny is like one of the girls who I sing with occasionally - she shows up late, is inattentive, makes no effort to keep her music in order so she can move from song to song in a reasonable manner... and yet has the voice of an angel. She must continually be "brought up to speed" while making no actual effort to do so herself. She is popular and lovely, and as far as I can tell, incapable of practical application.

This is the sort of woman who has always had the admiration of others, and as such, has not needed to develop any practical talents or skills; no, someone else will always take care of it for her. She would like to do something "artistic" with her life, but rarely makes the effort necessary to actually succeed in the arts. She can't really clean, cook, handle tools, scrub, change diapers, lift heavy boxes, or sew. That all sounds like stereotypical domesticity, but really, even in this modern world, you need to know how to do most of those sorts of things to live life. We're not yet in Logan's Run.

I had a Prettyskinny roommate once who drove me up the wall - working on her 3rd BA degree, coming up with a new idea for an easy and yet glamorous occupation every other month or so (travel photography... modelling... acting in an national commercial so she could live off the proceeds for a year... getting into the chorus of an opera company...) and living in a state of such slovenliness that we were continually finding ants in the kitchen. I'm no pristine housekeeper by any means, but you couldn't see the floor of her room.

We butted heads early on, and I realized that we should have parted ways on the day we moved into a larger apartment with a third friend. I had arranged to pay 2 friends to help us move, and as we three carted loads of boxes and stuff out to the truck, she sat on a chair in the living room and watched us. I have never fought with anyone like I did with her. To this day, I believe that our mutual animosity continues unabated, although occasionally I am overcome with remorse for my unchristian behavior and judgmental spirit towards her. I haven't seen her since we all moved out 8 years ago. But for me, she became the prime example for that sort of semi-useless woman.

So let's then look at the other end of the womanly spectrum - the Highly Accomplished Fat Girl. Never worshipped like a Prettyskinny or appreciated (unless she is funny), she has learned a number of skills to make her useful, and hopefully, absolutely necessary. Amazing cooks, seamstresses, babysitters, masseuses, accountants, designers, set builders, teachers, comedians, etc. She has developed every talent, every skill she can so that she will find a place in society. She has to be twice as good just to register as acceptable.

And she has the added bonus of Depth. Years of sorrow and disappointment at being passed over or disregarded has made her stronger, more patient, more self-aware and wise than a regular woman. Particularly when fat from her youth onward, she doesn't mind growing old and losing her looks that much, because she never had the looks to lose. You don't miss what you never had.

So when torn between a slender beauty and a fat woman, after examining their general qualities of personality and skills, if all things are equal... pick the fat girl. She will be a greater benefit in the long run, be it as wife, employee, or friend. She may not inspire you to write poetry, but she will know how to squash spiders on her own without calling for help.

Gifts

My friend Kathryn Stinson and I have been working on a book for about 6 months now about Gifts and Gift-Giving. We decided that part of the process (and as a way to build up interest) would be to start a blog where we could work out some ideas, and maybe collect stories from people that would help illustrate our points.

I should mention that this is NOT a Martha-Stewart-Real-Simple-Style-how-to sort of book; there will be ideas, but we also want to address the historical, philosophical and psychological aspects of Gifts and the traditions (good and bad) surrounding them. And to be funny whenever we can, as well as incoporating such concepts as Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

So I beg you to please visit the site, and make comments and share your own stories of the best gifts you've ever gotten, as well as the worst. We promise to blog at least twice a week, so please check back! (and scroll down to the bottom so you can read the earlier posts...) http://thebestpresentevah.blogspot.com/

A Fascinating Search

I think I may be geeking out about economists!

I have been tasked with finding the birthdates of all 112 presidents of the American Economic Association, and it has been hard going. Some were easy - Wikipedia filled in that info on about 50% of them. But some we only had the year, not the date, and others were as though they had never existed.

I have to detail the search I did on just one of them... E. Goldenweiser, president in 1946. No clue on his first name, year of birth, etc. I found several economics-themed sites with the initials E. A., so folded that in... then discovered some with E. Alexandrovich... then one with Emmanuel Alexandrovich, still in economics. I then found a citation from congressional hearings with the Federal Reserve Board that implyed he was an employee, which gave me more background.

I then went on Ancestry.com (using a 2-week free trial) and did a search on the full name. I found a list of various records with variations on his name, and then found this draft card for WWI:

A Statistician for the government. And his birthday. I cannot tell you the THRILL I had when I finally discovered this; a little like finding the Lost Ark of the Covenant. Someone who has not been thought important enough to develop a Wikipedia page for, or to have an online obituary for, and yet here he exists again in the world of 2008, even if only for me around lunchtime on a Friday. I also found his draft card for WWII, where he lists that he is working for the Federal Reserve. I can't find his obituary yet (he died in 1953), but I have found an index online that lists it... just not the actual text!

It took me almost an hour, to find all these little tiny bits of information, and this was my reward. He emigrated from Kiev, Russia, became a naturalized citizen and americanized his middle name to Alexander.

The Honest Truth Can Be Ugly Sometimes

Or selfish.

I love this article, and I have done many of the suggested techniques in conversation, but not with any conscious awareness of feigning sincerity... but under closer evaluation, yes. I have feigned sincerity. I apologize.

OMG THE CUTEST THING EVER!

Kitten + Ferrets + Bag = LOL

Absolutely delightful! You can almost see their little thought processes...

Valuable Lessons Learned

1. It is important to be careful when removing the oil cap on your car, as you may drop it into the engine.
2. Wadded-up paper towels are not a safe or suitable replacement for a missing oil cap.
3. Wal-Mart does not carry replacement oil caps.
4. It is ill-advised to go within a mile of Wal-Mart on Tax-Free Weekend in 90+ degree weather.
5. Artichoke hearts are never where you expect to find them in a grocery store.
6. A rolled-up sock serves reasonably well as an oil cap in a pinch.
7. The Toyota dealership Service Department on Hwy. 96 closes at 5 pm on Saturdays.
8. There is a well-stocked AutoZone located on Columbia Avenue in Franklin.
9. A replacement oil cap can run around $5.

I have come to deeply appreciate AutoZone. They always end up giving good advice, and helping me make cheap repairs on my own. I literally drive away feeling a palpable sense of Joy: I always learn a new skill or useful piece of information (i.e., one can actually replace their own headlight lamps!), I'm relieved that a pressing repair/replacement has been made, and I feel strong and capable for having managed a car issue on my girly own.

Cars can make me more anxious than almost anything else (except my tendency towards hypochondria); I have actually had a panic attack and passed out at one point when my car was in the shop after a long, incomprehensible period of overheating (and ended up being a massively expensive repair). So to go and take the steps to successfully fix something on my car myself always is a combination of relief and pride.

Killing Time Productively

I am at the office, and I am hamstrung. There is a Trojan Horse virus on my office computer, I spent 2 hours running a full scan that failed in the end, and I am now about halfway through a full scan in safe mode to try and isolate it there. I am writing this on the spare computer on the other side of my office.

I have read all my daily blogs, visited the various Cute Animal sites I frequent, checked my Facebook for updates innumerable times, and have exhausted all forms of typical time-killing activity.

8 minutes before I can leave.

Ooh, I can check my Vandy mail online! There won't be anything there, but it will kill a few minutes.

Nope, about 70 seconds. *sigh*

Tonight Project Runway and So You Think You Can Dance are on. That'll be nice.

It's my stepdad's birthday today. I wonder what I should get for him? I already have a card...

Ooh, I can rinse out my coffee cup! Back in a mo.

Three minutes left. Are you as bored reading this as I am? Good. Shared suffering, and all that.

I have a client out in West Meade this afternoon. Probably won't take a full hour; I should figure out some productive activities for this afternoon.

One minute. Bye!

Bad Day Calls for a Good Laugh

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/high_school_tony_awards_honor

What I Won't, and What I Wish

I cannot remember the last time I so longed to be granted an escape from my current condition. The tasks on my plate right now are so unappealing, but I cannot simply scrape them off into the trash. Everyone around me is taking off for vacation for a week or more, going hither and yon, and I am stuck here in the incubator of Nashville, doing a job that I generally like, but which is made unappetizing by a couple of wonky clients who manage to drain the joy out of my work.

The thing is, I could conceivably drop them... but as usually happens, I'm in the midst of a slowdown in my workload, and I need the income.

I can't stand it when I have no clear-cut idea of what I'm supposed to be doing, but the client is pressuring me to do SOMETHING. Plus, it's not an area of expertise. Sometimes I feel like people come to me because I'm affordable and available, despite my protestations that I don't have enough experience for that particular task. You do NOT want me to try and set up a Windows Server for you, just because I'm cheap! I have a particular skill set and a definite market, and although I'm willing to learn new things, there's generally enough work for me in making house calls to people's homes. So I don't WANT to learn how to configure a server!

You wouldn't want your chiropractor to perform brain surgery on you, would you? No. So why do I feel like I must accept whatever people ask of me, even when I know it's over my head, or that I simply don't like doing it? As I get close to Year Three of my business, I have made some definite decisions:

1. I don't want to do web design work for individuals anymore. I'll keep maintaining for the clients I currently have, but I simply don't like the development process. It requires me to work on it when I'm at home, and there is nothing I'm more disinclined to do when I'm home than work on websites.
2. I'm not going to feel bad when I don't have the skills to do something. I know lots and lots of things; there's no reason for me to feel guilty that I'm not a computer guru.
3. I'm not going to feel guilty when I refuse service. If I'm going to put up with the inconveniences and difficulties of working for myself, then I reserve the right to avoid unpleasant clients. Pervy old men, this means you.
4. I'm not going to feel guilty when I name the price for the 2 hours of working on a dusty, carelessly maintained desktop, and they stop smiling and talking and quietly write out a check. I named my price on the front end, or they didn't bother to ask, so it's not like I'm cheating anyone. I'm still cheaper than most solutions on the market, and I'm much more compassionate and friendly than the guys at Best Buy.

Some obvious issues there. I don't like hearing that kind of harshness from myself, but right now I'm not particularly happy or joyful, I'm frustrated, and I need a proper vacation.

If I had the money, opportunity and connections, I would go by cruise ship to England, visit my friend Teresa in Glasgow for a week, bounce around on BritRail to Edinburgh, Cardiff, London and Bath. Go see Patrick Stewart and David Tennant in Hamlet at the RSC. Go to Evensong at Westminster Abbey. Take the Circle Line. Walk over the Hungerford Foot Bridge. Go to the Tower and St. Paul's and the school on the edge of Kensington I stayed at one summer and The Orangery for tea.

Beautiful

I don't know why, but this brought tears to my eyes - make sure you watch the last minute.

Awesomeness

This made me so happy...

http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/07/duck-darwin-awa.html

Doctoral Dirge

At what point does perpetual loss and tragedy in a fictional narrative become too much? I ask, because I am in the midst of my seasonal obsession with the latest series of Doctor Who (Series 4, if you're counting) and once again, in a finale that combines the overcoming of a mighty villain with tragic loss on the part of the heroes, I come out of it depressed and discouraged.

I should mention that the finale has not aired here yet, but in fear that I might accidentally stumble over key spoilers on the web, I took it upon myself to temporarily acquire viewing copies (don't ask how, please) so that I might be able to watch spoiler-free for a change (having been too curious to wait with the first 3 seasons). I don't think I'm giving anything away when I say the bad guys are beaten and the universe saved, but at a personal cost. Some of the heroes end up happily, some are lost, and the Doctor is again alone.

The difference this time is that the writer/producer Russell T Davies, who has tweaked this storyline since the series revival in 2005, has made the losses more palpable, and made no effort to alleviate the Doctor's loneliness. And this is ostensibly a CHILDREN'S SHOW. Granted, loads of adults like myself watch with great interest, but it's still marketed and advertised for the youth.

So I can't help but wonder if RTD isn't being self-indulgent - his work is traditionally racy, dark, and undeniably mature (as is illustrated by his adult series Torchwood) and I think he has ended his 4-year run with DW (he's moving on to other projects) with a real downer of an episode. I know he's clearing the deck for the next writer/producer Steven Moffatt (who has done some of the best episodes of the last 4 years, and has a reputation for NOT killing off characters!) but I came out of it feeling undeniably sad.

They've made the series that aired for decades into a considerably more dramatic and weighty vehicle; previous doctors never got particularly emotional, and moral dilemmas never seemed to be all that much of an issue. But that is now the heart of the series, and although I can appreciate the artistry and how easily it can make me cry at times, I wish sometimes they could just let it be Fun and Adventure, and not so much Tragedy. A good cry is great once and a while, but it seems like I've been doing a lot of it this series! And I can't help but wonder what children make of this; if they are made depressed by this recurrence of grief. I'm not one of those people who think kids should only ever hear happy stories and should be shielded from all of life's difficulties, but there's just so much sorrow one can take in an entertainment before it's too much.

There were happy moments; some great comedy, and some lovely resolutions. But I've been feeling melancholy all weekend after a Who Marathon of the last 4 episodes, and that hardly seems like a desirable result for a TV series!

Controversial

Goodness gracious, I've gotten more readers and comments after my Regional Differences and Eddie Izzard posts than I have in weeks! Why is it that I never noticed that the big blogs are popular precisely because they will court controversy? I don't like it in general; I don't like making people angry, and I don't like the way they get when they are angry.

My brother-in-law has picked up on this tendency of mine over the years; he might be having a battle with Elder Sister in my presence, and I will blend into the furniture, or start chivvying the children to clean up or snap to... and B-I-L will turn to me and say something like "It's ok, you know; no one is in danger just because I'm angry!" Which I know, of course; but when you've learned to deal with an angry father over 13 years of childhood, you try and do whatever you can to alleviate anger, to placate, to pour oil on troubled waters. I will grow very quiet... I will start to tidy up... I will speak in a subdued fashion, to indicate my appreciation of the situation.

I have been fortunate to have friends who will disagree with me, and have spirited arguments over things like religion and politics... it has taken time, but it has allowed me at least some understanding that disagreement and argument do not mean someone will hate or hurt you when the debate is over. But even with all of that, I find myself adapting to the opinions of whomever I am with. I leap to find common ground, to express a sympathy and comprehension of their opinion.

This is why I cannot endure the rants of the Bill O'Reillys, the Ann Coulters and Rush Limbaughs. (I know they have liberal counterparts, but I don't know who any of them are, for some reason.) I might agree with some of their opinions, but their absolute inability to see any good in liberalism troubles me. I wish there was more of an appreciation in this country for the Moderate and the Centrist, and that they could be allowed to have their own voice in the media. I don't think it means that someone is any less compelling, just because they can see both sides of an argument... I mean, wouldn't you want to have that kind of respect in a discussion? Instead of just being lambasted as an idiot?

Still Cute after all these years

I still check this site several times a day... some things never diminish in quality.

A particularly amusing narrative:
http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/06/aesop-on-an-off.html

Disappointed by Eddie

I do not like to go out at night, in general. Maybe to a cozy friend's house, or to my family, but most evenings I would much rather stay home, especially when I have been home for an hour or more, and have to get up and go back out. There are exceptions of course, and last night was one of them - I had tickets to see Eddie Izzard live at the Ryman.

I loooooove Eddie Izzard. I have watched or listened to everything he's ever done (stand-up), and seen most of his movies. I think he's brilliant. He's the only comedian I know to have figured out how to combine history so effectively with comedy.

The place was packed; at one point the audience started chanting "Cake or Death"; they obviously knew his material by heart. When he came out, it was the loudest audience response I have ever heard. The poor man could hardly speak for the screams of delight, and got into the habit of regularly shushing us whenever we would cheer for a particular line, just so he could get through his material. He performed without intermission for almost 2 hours straight, which has GOT to be exhausting, and my face got tired from smiling and laughing.

But.

I don't begin to be able to articulate my disappointment in what he obviously thought of us. There's usually some kind of overarching theme throughout one of his shows, and tonight, it appeared to be Why Religion is Stupid, and I'm Here to Straighten You Out. He's touched on his dissatisfaction with the inconsistencies and hypocrisies of organized religion for years now, so it wasn't unfamiliar... but last night, I felt like he was on a mission to disabuse us of our blinkered and illogical devotion to God. It felt like he had tailored his show specifically to this Bible-Belt audience to correct us in our irrational habits. Every 5 minutes or so, he'd take a step back and make a little disclaimer about how there WERE things he admired about religion, like the sense of community and whatnot... but then he'd jump right back into mocking various stories in the Bible, the proliferation of gods throughout world history, the fact that some don't believe in evolution, etc. It felt like he took every single stereotype of Southern Christian culture as true across the board, and riffed on how foolish it was off and on for 2 hours.

I am NOT hypersensitive to this in general. I am used to it in almost every form of entertainment media I can think of, and I often agree. But I paid $59 for a ticket to have a good time laughing, and I came out of there feeling a little depressed, as thought I'd been gently scolded for more than an hour. Even my friend A. M. who went with me, and who generally shares his same opinions on religion and Middle American (and particularly Southern) culture said that she felt "patronized," as though he had come on a mission to try and fix us. I don't mind stand-up shows that use comedy to teach certain principles, such as Rob Becker's Defending the Caveman... but Eddie doesn't do that in general, so to have him try and correct what he thinks is wrong with American culture in his show here in the Bible Belt really made me feel disappointed, and for the first time in a long time, defensive.

I don't generally feel offended by that sort of thing; when it's addressed to an audience in San Francisco, and I watch it on a TV screen, it's not directed at me. But this WAS directed at me, and as I think of the supportive, genuine people at my church who help take care of each other so well, of the kind-hearted, generous, open-hearted relatives I have in Georgia who would do anything for a stranger, I was hurt. Because Eddie obviously thought they - we - were foolish and misguided.

AND YET, he was a little bit hypocritical himself, last night... despite gently mocking the religious culture we live in, he dressed down for the occasion - he wore jeans, boots, and cutaway coat - and barely any makeup. I have NEVER seen him wear jeans in one of his shows; he doesn't wear dresses, but he'll wear really gorgeous silks and brocades in beautifully cut suits, loads of makeup, nail polish, etc. But last night, he dressed for a Nashville audience. Perhaps it was meant as a sign of respect for what he perceives as a more conservative crowd, but I suspected that it was more of a "don't scare the crackers" choice.

The ridiculous thing is that, for the most part, he was preaching to the choir last night! The audience was made up of the most liberal-minded elements of Nashville society, with a huge majority agreeing with pretty much every word out of his mouth. So it was a wasted effort - I would venture to guess that 75% or more of that crowd would be voting Democrat this November anyway.

Regional Differences

I don't know if it's possible to write about this without sounding judgmental. We'll see.

Bearing in mind the differences in population (urban vs. suburban) and urgency (dire vs. steady increase), it's hard not to make comparisons between the devastation of Hurricane Katrina (ie: New Orleans) and the flooding along the Mississipi (ie: Iowa).

Similarities:

• lots of water
• destruction of personal property
• breaking levees
• typical for area - it's happened before

Now let's think about how people responded. New Orleans was one long series of "Who's responsible," with local, state, federal government, FEMA, and the population all getting a portion of blame. Iowa seems to be more about "How can I help preserve my city?" I know, they have more time to fill sandbags; their flooding has been a slow and steady increase, while Katrina was a matter of only a few days warning, right? But if you look at it from the perspective of what we can see in media coverage both then and now, New Orleans was all about what the government was supposed to do to fix the problem, while Iowa is all about what the local residents are doing to try and save themselves.

I do see that getting millions out of the path of a devastating hurricane with not enough time is a vast deal more difficult than what's been going on along the Mississippi, and it's not something that could have been stopped with sandbags. But I never seem to hear anyone in news stories talking about how the government has failed the Midwest in this flood season; it's just lots and lots of v-roll of hundreds and hundreds of people filling sandbags, trying to keep their own levees from breaking.

Is the difference that people in urban areas are more dependant upon the government, while the more scattered populations of the midwest are more self-reliant? Yeah, I think so.

I'm sure everyone can think of their own set of rational excuses to be made for New Orleans and the Gulf Coast and how it responded in the face of natural disaster. But the bitterness and blame of Katrina is curiously absent from the Midwest, who have lost as much, and will continue to lose more for some time to come.

What I Learned This Pre-Summer

1. A lake house is nice, except when it's in the 90s and the AC is broken.
2. AC filters need to be changed periodically so that the AC can keep working.
3. There is such a thing as a 24-hour emergency HVAC repair service.
4. Just because you and your friends say over and over that the AC WILL be fixed, it doesn't necessarily produce the desired result.
5. It is possible to sleep in an oppressively hot house, as long as you have a fan and a damp towel to drape over your legs and forehead, and you dose up on Benadryl.
6. My car loves to kick off its hubcaps.
7. There is always something useful to be learned in trying situations.
8. I have more endurance and adaptability than I thought.
9. It's not always a good idea to force through a vacation trip, because sometimes God doesn't mean for you to go.
10. Even in the midst of trying situations, there are treasures such as fine regional cheeses, and excellent country meat-and-three restaurants to be found.
11. Just because a store advertises itself as an Amish market does not mean that you will actually find any Amish people there, nor that they will necessarily have any locally produced Amish products.
12. There is a time and place for makeup, and a lake house with no AC is not one of them.
13. It is possible to fit more activities into a 29 hour trip than initially thought possible.
14. Giving up and going home early because you're melting from the heat is not weak; it is sensible.

How I love the internet!

Do you remember how you always gave up on trains of thought when you were younger, because finding the source of something you remembered was well nigh impossible?

Lying in bed, trying to go to sleep, this little snippet of what I THINK was Herb Albert and the TJB won't go away, then I vaguely remember the little Muppet sketch of over 20 years ago I associate with it... gosh, that was pretty funny...

5-10 minutes of google searching, refining search terms, and YouTube later, I present Java:


OK, That's done - back to bed! I have nursery duty in the morning...

Good Lord and Butter, Has it Been That Long?!

Has it been almost a month since I last posted?! Shame on me! But I must excuse myself on the basis that since May 1st I have been Official Typist to Shane and Anna Caudill, on a trip to pick up their new son Thien Yo (called YoYo) in China. Google Blogs are apparently inaccessible there, and so they have had to resort to emailing updates to me, which I would format and post along with pictures. They have lived through some high drama, let me tell you! They were not untouched by the earthquake, although mercifully far enough away to escape harm. And YoYo is a special needs child with catheters and a colostomy bag, although he seems to be blissfully unaware of any need for caution!

They are due to return this weekend, but now that it is so close, I am terrified that something will occur to hold them back, or deny them YoYo, who has bonded with them as much as a 3-year-old child possibly could in 3 weeks. So many little bits of paper and permissions and natural disasters and birth defects with medical issues and national pride... It is no easy thing to go through. I think they must long to be left entirely alone upon their return for a week or so, just to sleep and eat and recover from the massive rollercoaster of emotion they have been on for the last 8 months... so many near misses, so many failures of communication, and the heavy weight of 14 years of trying to have a child of their own.

Shane and Anna are the kind of couple that never met a stranger where children are concerned. They are the sort of people who should have an enormous family, but instead have had to unconsciously settle for being the best adult friend of every child in their circle of acquaintances. No one can playplayplay better than they. The amount of preparation they went through before going is unimaginable; taking medical supplies, clothing, preparing for certain nutritional needs, learning how to install catheters and colostomy bags... all the sorts of skills they would have learned slowly over time with a new baby, is thrust upon them in one fell swoop in the form of a very active 3 year old.

I have cheerfully demanded to adopt YoYo as an aunt; I'm not going to be having my own children, in all likelihood, and so here is a child who will have adoptive aunts and uncles and grandparents, but there's no reason why he can't squeeze in one stray spinster aunt whose own niblings are growing up and away.

Why I Can't Tell You

Why, whywhywhywhywhy, is it so difficult for me as a Christian to witness to my faith with as much passion and delight as I tell a friend about an amazing movie I just saw? This was a revelation to me almost 2 decades back; I was in a Bible study, and someone made the point that modern American Christians talk about a new sushi restaurant with more enthusiasm than they do their faith.

Of course, this might be because even as Christians, we know that ANY audience is more willing to accept a movie review than a witness. If anyone starts to share their faith with me, unaware that "I already have a subscription to that magazine, thanks," I feel that same sinking feeling, that same dismay as even an atheist might feel in such a confrontation. It has become impossible to witness in this country.

Well, that's not entirely so. People on the brink of disaster, of immense loss, illness or depression, might be willing to hear. When you're in pain, you're willing to entertain any possible solutions.

But it is this instinctive shrinking back, this fear of alienating others, that keeps me silent on the subject. I reassure myself that it is because it is better to "live out my faith," let my actions speak louder than my words. An ounce of behavior is worth a pound of words, my acting teacher always said. But the silent guilt of "you really should be doing more" still wafts around me (and many of my Christian friends).