Glory Be!

So, as mentioned vaguely in previous posts, I've bin feelin' mighty low...*clunk* (this is a reference to an old Bugs Bunny cartoon, which I THINK starred Pete Puma, but I could be wrong).

Anyway, as a result of depression, I've been feeling sick... and feeling sick worries me no end, so I get more depressed, which makes me sicker... quite the destructive little circle. I am the Queen of Psychosomatic Illnessess, in addition to my title of Grand Duchess of Susania. Anyway, after I started feeling like there was a band tightening around my throat yesterday, I went off the deep end and called for an appointment with my doctor.

I've dreaded going in, because I don't LIKE going to the doctor; but also because I was afraid I would find out that the Probable had become Reality. The Probable being Diabetes. It runs in my father's family, as does hypo-thyroidism, which I also feared. Since I'm overweight and take poor care of my eating and exercise, I've always had it hung over my head like the Sword of Damocles by various older family members, including my mom. Plus, being diagnosed with it would mean my current uninsurability would be even more Uninsurable. If that's possible.

So, went in, cried through my listing of ailments with a nurse, then 2 residents in training, then the doctor, and then was tested for all that stuff. I did certainly feel much better afterwards, having gotten that all out of the way - I mean, I suspected that it was all psychosomatic because it has always been so in the past, but I have to eliminate the possibility of it being real so I can get over it and stop worrying.

So they were supposed to call me tomorrow morning with the results, but in fact, called me before 5 tonight with the news that I was A-OK, right down the middle of Average Textbook Healthy Person. (Apparently, crying at the doctor's can get them to speed up your results.) I am quite Ordinary, which is a pleasant surprise.

Of course, I called Mom in a swivet of Relief and Happy to let her know I wasn't Diabetic nor had a wacked out Thyroid, to which she replied, "Not yet..." as well as "thank goodness," etc. Oh Mom. Way to be happy with me! But I know why she had to say the Not Yet - she wants me to work at changing my lifestyle now, so it won't happen ever; she thinks I will just plunge into a vat of chocolate.

Not likely. This really scared me, over the last month, what with the feeling weak and lightheaded all the time, so I have had very little sugar in the last few weeks, and intend to try and live my life as though I WERE a diabetic, in hopes of reversing the Probable. After 37 years, I finally had enough days of not feeling so good with sugar that I'm less and less inclined to eat it now; the consequences are too fearsome.